My younger brother has a serious sleep walking/talking problem, and it made for some weird times growing up. One time I heard someone walking up and down the stairs over and over. Eventually the footsteps made their way to the kitchen. I crawled out of bed and went downstairs to find my brother rummaging through the pantry.
“Steve… what are you doing?” I asked.
He stepped away from the pantry holding a potato, looked me in the eye and said: “I need a marker.”
There was another time he ruined a significant amount of our family’s clothes by sleepwalking into the laundry room and peeing. I gotta give it to him, the kid had good aim for being asleep. He managed to only hit the pile of whites.
People can do some pretty bizarre, hilarious things in their sleep, and Imgur user hellosodas married a man who spouts off such ridiculous non sequiturs while snoozing, she couldn’t help but share them with the world. Here are some of our favorite sayings from the especially talkative sleeper.