IT'S GOING DOWN AT WORK TODAY!!
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
SOMEONE HAS SHIT ON THE FLOOR. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. AN ACTUAL POO.
Updates to follow...
CCTV is being looked at, some nervous faces in the office..#ShitGate
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
The turd in question was found by the cleaner....IN THE KITCHEN!!!
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
We’re now all being asked to own up..
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
I’ve not seen this much excitement in the office since they released names and addresses of local peados.#ShitGate
THIS. IS. HAPPENING.
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
CCTV has been viewed. Tension is rising, some very worried faces around me.
People are turning on each other, speculation is through the roof!#ShitGate
We've just been informed (quite oddly) that the turd was a formed mass, and not ass piss..
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
Not sure what to do with that information...
Management are currently bunkered down in the conference room. Can't help but feel if they reacted this quickly to peoples concerns, we wouldn't have a SHIT on our kitchen floor!
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
Never seen people checking out their colleagues asses so much... Like there's gonna some remaining shite hanging from their pants...
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
MANAGEMENT ARE OUT PEOPLE!!!
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
(Turtle) heads are gonna role...#ShitGate
CCTV was inconclusive. We’re being told no one can leave till someone owns up.
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
Everyone has turned on each other, friendships are long gone. This is now a real life Lord of the Flies..#ShitGate
Just witnessed someone lean over to their desk mate and actually SNIFF them...
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
A FIGHT HAS BROKEN OUT.... I FUCKING LOVE LIFE!
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
We work under extreme pressure every day.
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
Today, one turd has divided a company. One solitary, well formed poo, has broken us..
I just witnessed a colleague stand up and yell 'IF THIS ISNT RESOLVED BY KICK OFF, I'M GONNA SHIT ON YOU ALL' #ShitsComingHome
Phones are ringing off the hook! No work has been done. Side fights are breaking out all over the shop.
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
What a day to be alive!
People are being sent home to ‘calm down’!!!
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
You can’t make this up!
One person just leaned over to me and said ‘I know who did it, I recognise the scent’!!!
Ahh Columbo, thanks for joining us...
#ShitGate update:
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
Suspicions and speculation have gone into overdrive.
Current #1 suspect: the cleaner
Was this an attempt at the perfect crime? Was it smelt and dealt by the same person?
THE POO IS STILL IN THE KITCHN LIKE ITS A FUCKING CRIME SCENE!!!
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
Let me just get my chalk out and draw round it...
THEY KNOW WHO DID IT?!?
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
The place is buzzing! Hush whispers ringing around the office. Friendships broken beyond repair.
And still, one little poo remains festering in our kitchen, like a tiny murder victim.
At this point I’m beyond excited. I woke this morning dreaming of England reaching the World Cup final. Now I sit in anticipation of who pulled down their cacks, squat and shat on our kitchen floor..
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
And still one question remains, where did they piss?
WE HAVE THE CULPRIT!!!
— shitty titty committee (@HanYolo14) July 11, 2018
It was a disgruntled contractor who hadn’t been paid on time!
They have just been lead out the building, shamed in front of us all.
A chorus of ‘Shits Coming Home’ is ringing out in the office.
This has been a wonderful, wonderful day.
