The future of Mayonnaise is looking dark indeed, according to an article in Philly Magazine. Sales of the creamy, eggy condiment have recently dropped seven percent, which is apparently a steep enough decline to draw a red strike through “Mayonnaise” on the Millennial hit list. (There’s an official Millennial hit list and each one of us has a copy. It’s true. I can’t reveal what’s next to all you old heads, but I will say you should stock up on paper napkins and sex while you can).
Of course, the spicy claim caused debate to spread across the web like a dollop of Hellman’s on a slice of rye. Is Mayo really endangered? Isn’t aioli just mayo with a little garlic? What the flying fuck are “identity condiments”?