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Up until now, whenever I saw a bird acting crazy, slamming into windows, or attacking a passer-by, I assumed there was a legitimate reason. Either they’re protecting a nest, enforcing their mating territory or in the case of the whole glass-slamming thing, that they were confused and my mom’s windexing skills were on point. Never once did I consider that those godamn birbs were fucking drunk.
What is this country coming to? First the adults, then the kids, and now the animals are partaking in some alcohol to get themselves feeling fun and foolish?
The apocalypse is nigh.
