Back in a previous life, before TheCHIVE, I worked in a traditional office setting. There were cubicles, a dress code, a loud typer, an office Karen, and a tiny little kitchen with a grimy microwave, a busted hotplate and a mini fridge. Sometimes, late at night, I dream that I’m back there, and I wake up screaming.
The worst part of office life, though, was the social events. That inevitably meant making small talk with people you barely know, trying to avoid your boss, and of course, the potluck. It was an event filled with casseroles, fruit trays, your great-grandma’s salmon meatball recipe and some items you can’t even recognize.
I saw some things, man, and tasted death, but nothing I experienced came close to the events depicted in this Twitter thread. I’m scared.