The iPhone 11 hit shelves last month and people everywhere were eager to shell out $800 for basically the same phone. But there was one unintended benefit of the new wide-angle camera lens that might make the whole piece of hardware worth the of price of admission alone: it makes your penis look bigger. A lot bigger. (Finally, a way for me to look slightly below average).
Now people are noticing a previously unheard phenomenon known as “cockfishing.” It’s like catfishing — where you chat with a beautiful person online and then meet in person only to discover they have something hideously wrong with them, like an absorbed fetal twin on the side of their neck who shouts racial slurs — except “cockfishing” is being fooled by their much-smaller-in-real-life penis.
I dare say we are witnessing the greatest achievement in mobile phone technology in over a decade. Apple has done it again. With the iPod, they put our entire musical libraries in our pockets. With the iPhone, they put our entire musical libraries, FaceTime, and apps in our pockets. And now, with the iPhone 11, they managed to cram one more thing in there: a bigger penis.
What a time.