John has been abducted by aliens and we don’t know where he is (15 photos)

Nov 3, 2021

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I have some bad news, guys. In the unlikely event that you’re not sitting on the toilet right now, you might wanna grab a seat for this… all set? Okay. Here goes… Our CEO, John Resig, has been abducted by aliens. Our fearless leader. Our commanding general on the digital frontlines of cat memes and cleavage. Gone. Vanished into the sky. A UFO slurped him up like a little black ball in one of those Asian teas. I’m so worried I feel sick. Yes, I’m extremely drunk. But at least 65% of that sickness is genuine worry.