“You’re wearing a maxi dress and full make up or a pattern-print short sleeved button down with the sleeves half-rolled and chinos; either way 60% chance you’ve got a brimmed hat on.
You exude luxury, but might have to check your accounts before choosing which credit card to pay your bill with. You will Venmo request $3.89 from each of your friends who ate off the shared plate that you ordered.
By the second round, you’ll be speaking at 150% the volume of the next loudest patron. It’s not that you don’t care what other people think; you don’t even consider that other people have thoughts. After all, you are the main character.
Or, you’re in your early 20s and will tell your friends ‘It doesn’t count as day drinking if it’s brunch!’
You’ll all laugh; one of you will be puking by 4 p.m. (that will be the friend who is either sober or a fully-committed alcoholic within 15 years). YOLO!”