Finally, a video game where you can customize the size of your dong

Avatar customization in video games has come a long way. You can make your hero as muscular or as scrawny as you like. Style them with a hairdo from any decade. And even upload a picture of your face.

However, I can’ t help but feel like something’s been missing. A personal touch that games have never been able to capture. But what? What can developers allow you to customize to even further bridge the gap between game and reality?

Dong size. It’s dong size.

Luckily, Conan Exiles is here to fill that hole.

Chris Livingston of PC Gamer got his hands on an early access demo of the upcoming open world survival game, as well as its fully fleshed out penis customization feature and hyper realistic dong physics.

And Livingston spent his time doing what any self-respecting games critic would do: moving the dick slider back and forth repeatedly.


He also took full advantage of the game’s “vanity camera”, examining Conan’s bouncing, swaying cock and balls from every angle.


Can’t find a weapon? No problem.


And you thought it was humiliating getting tea-bagged in Halo.

Eventually, he did manage to find some clothes.


Wow. And we thought Virtual Reality was a game changer. The future is now, people. What a time.

h/t PC Gamer

Like this post?

blog comments powered by Disqus