Spirit Halloween stores are a phenomenon unique to North America. If there’s a building left abandoned, then you can bet your spooky ass a big orange Spirit Halloween banner will be hanging above the doors come mid-September. Shit, if you leave anything alone for even a moment, those cheap plastic mask-pedaling opportunists will swoop in like bats out of hell. The mom and pop shop that went under during the pandemic? It’s a Spirit Halloween now. The spare bedroom you never use? Spirit Halloween. I once had a three-month-long dry spell… took a shower and found a mini orange sign hanging from my dick.
Other countries are surprised such a thing exists stateside. And I don’t blame them. Even we can’t comprehend why they wouldn’t extend their lease a month longer and sell plastic cornucopias for Thanksgiving and icicle lights for the holidays. But that’s just how Spirit Halloween do. No point trying to make sense of it. In October, this is their world. We’re just living in it.
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