How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

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ed hardy wine 0 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)
While shopping at Whole Foods over the weekend I was picking out a nice bottle of wine with my girlfriend and we stumbled across a lovely Ed Hardy Rose, a rare 2009 vintage to boot. We could not think of a better way to spend V-day than curled up with each other and a nice glass of Ed Hardy’s finest vino. If anyone knows wine, it’s Ed Hardy. Now to properly enjoy this delicate, yet complex wine, we decided to show you Chiver’s a step-by-step by process to the perfect pour:

Step 1.

Choose your Ed Hardy wine wisely. We chose a Rose because we were having cardboard and crayons for dinner and we thought this would be an excellent complement.
ed hardy wine 1 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

ed hardy wine 2 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 2.

Remove foil cap. I highly recommend chewing on the foil to get a nice metallic taste in your mouth to clean your palette for the bliss to come.
ed hardy wine 4 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 3.

Remove styrofoam cork carefully. I suggest doing this in the bathroom because you may piddle yourself with excitement.
ed hardy wine 5 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

ed hardy wine 6 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

ed hardy wine 7 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 4.

Smell cork. Although not the classiest of moves, I feel you don’t get the full Ed Hardy experience without breaking some rules.
ed hardy wine 8 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 5.

Gag. This is normal. Ed Hardy wine is like the finest aged Camembert de Normandy . It may smell like a corpse’s foot, but damn is it worth it!
ed hardy wine 9 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 6.

Open Toilet.
ed hardy wine 10 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 7.

CAREFULLY pour the Ed Hardy Rose into the toilet. If you accidentally spill the wine on your toilet rim or floor, you will have to evacuate your home forever. One drop of Ed Hardy Rose outside the safe confines of toilet water will kill everyone within a 10 mile radius. It makes VX gas look like a Shirley Temple mixed with Massengill.
ed hardy wine 11 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)
ed hardy wine 12 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 8.

Make sure every ounce of Rose is out of the bottle. Remember this bottle will be thrown away and we don’t want to contaminate your local landfill.
ed hardy wine 13 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 9.

Flush.
ed hardy wine 14 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

ed hardy wine 15 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 10.

Close toilet seat. You know the rules.
ed hardy wine 16 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

Step 11.

Throw away empty bottle. DO NOT RECYCLE. The last thing our society needs is anything else made from Ed Hardy. This douchebaggery has to stop somewhere -let it be with you.
ed hardy wine 17 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine (18 photos)

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  • CMG

    I wasn’t aware that Kool-Aid was fermentable.

  • Kenny Powers

    I expected to see the wine dumped into a trash can filled full of smmedium sized Ed Hardy shirts.

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  • Regina

    LOL……DOING IT FOR THE COUNTRY!!!!!!

  • Mavs

    Gotta agree with whoever mentioned that this series of photos is a WIN. Nice work, Leo! I enjoyed every moment of it! (And I didn’t know who Ed Hardy was, either… so thanks to everyone for the information!)

  • Cherboi

    This bit gives me hope and joy that the world isn’t coming to a flaming douchie end.

  • Shtlap

    You just killed all the sewer crocodiles.

  • http://www.facebook.com/#/profile.php?ref=profile&id=100000498406848 bryainiac

    yesterday i went to go pick out my new glasses and i saw ed hardy glasses, one had a bunch of jewels and sparkles on it and i said, i can’t believe some asshole actually goes, wow these are the glasses for me and purchases them.
    the lady behind the counter laughed and said, lots of people wish they could buy those but none can really afford them.
    i said good, im glad broke ass thugs can’t become fake ass douches and she laughed.

    • dot tilde dot

      oh, did she?

      .~.

  • http://www.newcougar.org/forums/lounge/144686-how-properly-enjoy-ed-hardy-wine.html#post1750052 How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine

    […] to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine Linkage. You come at the king, you best not miss. Reply With Quote   + […]

  • sly1206

    he should have taken a crap in there before flushing the toilet (just to fully experience the bouquet).

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  • bud

    I bet it tasted like vinegar

  • MissSixty

    Leo, you rock!!! I just discovered Ed Hardy wine at our local World Market and couldn't stop laughing!!! Had no clue you could act, dress, smell AND now DRINK like a dbag!!! How freakin classy!!! But being the classy gal I am, I couldn't help myself and purchased a bottle of some "soft red blend." Hmmm sounds as fake as the orange tan on my skin. Not sure if E.H. wine is even made from grapes??? It should more appropriately be called guido juice! lol Anyway, we're bustin it out at work for a rainny day. Thanks for the post! *Fist pump*

  • Repleh Modnar

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  • Stevo

    Wasting Food! The new trend that's sweeping America!

  • Juliana

    I had the oprpotunity to have my photos taken by Angela Bergsma for her photography website and she was such an inspiration to me, the fact that she did that for a living definitely sparked an interest in it for me. You can see photos I took of Angelas Family HERE.

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