Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • Paula_

    *click*
    Gooood moooorning Chivers & Chivettes,
    Paula is not in right now and unavailable to troll you.
    Please leave a message using the Reply button.
    *beep*

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one who will be at the meetup whether you like it or not

    • you are annoying

      to bad you weren't in Pakistan

      • Paula_

        Oh what do you know! I was the fluffer for the special ops team.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – sucking at her job

        • lawlz4funsies

          I'm sorry, but this comment kind of wins…

          • oh4fuckssake

            abso-fucking-lutely

    • Lars from Norway

      I hope you get molested by a baboon

      • DaddyD

        No curse. She likes monkey sex.

  • Merica

    amerca! fuck yea

    • Maynard B.

      Hats off to the SeALS…..oooahhhh!

  • jon e

    fulst

  • Kyle Morgan

    RIP OSAMA .. –> ROT IN PISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    USA!

    • theo

      enjoy your virgnis!

      • That Guy

        77 of the same women for all eternity? i would rather have 7 women that could turn into anybody. i mean as long as we are making stuff up.

    • name

      #13 … how they really got osama

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Billy-Schott/507335759 Billy Schott

    #1 I would have bet money he died years ago.

    • less

      money, really?

    • Faithless

      10 years, 2 wars, 919'967 deaths, and $1'188'263'000'000 later, they managed to kill one person. Worth it?

      Absolutely!

      • McBeastie

        2 wars? You are blending a few problems up into one. It's like saying the civil war was only fought over slavery. Wayyyy overly simplified. Get a history textbook…or read a newspaper or something.

        • History Teacher

          No literally thats what happened. Why else did we go to war then? That is what President Bush told us.. I mean sure, Iraq was a lie but the excuse used was Sadam Hussien and Osama's being buddies.

          Also, other than revisionist, the south seceded because Lincoln was elected and they feared loosing rights to hold slaves. They called that the Federal government being too overbearing and taking away from the southern way of life.

          Declarations of Secession, First lines:

          Georgia, "The people of Georgia having dissolved their political connection with the Government of the United States of America, present to their confederates and the world the causes which have led to the separation. For the last ten years we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slave-holding confederate States with reference to the subject of African slavery. "

          South Carolina: "The people of the State of South Carolina, in Convention assembled, on the 26th day of April, A.D., 1852, declared that the frequent violations of the Constitution of the United States, by the Federal Government, and its encroachments upon the reserved rights of the States, fully justified this State in then withdrawing from the Federal Union; but in deference to the opinions and wishes of the other slaveholding States, she forbore at that time to exercise this right. "

          Mississippi: "In the momentous step which our State has taken of dissolving its connection with the government of which we so long formed a part, it is but just that we should declare the prominent reasons which have induced our course. Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery– the greatest material interest of the world."

          Etc. Etc. Etc. Look it up for yourself. #1 reason in ALL of the state secessions.
          Similar to what happened with the Dixiecrats, in the 1960's being opposed to segregation.

          I think you should take your own advice and read a history book.

          • McBeastie

            Didn't say it wasn't A reason. Just the most simplified reason there is. Tensions between the North and South started long before slavery became the main issue.
            And again, the overly simplified reason for the Iraq war became tied to Osama. Incorrectly. There were several reasons given. WMDs, Hussein's failed attempt to kill Bush Sr, etc, etc.
            I really hope that you aren't a history teacher.

            • CDN

              The US excuse to invade Iraq was supposed evidence of WMDs, of which the US found none. So then they turned to the theory that Hussein and Bin Laden were working together, which was also found out to be untrue but they invaded Iraq anyway, without UN backing. Anyone with a brain knows that the US invaded Iraq to attempt to control oil. It had nothing to do with Bin Laden. I can't find the source right now but I remember reading about Rumsfeld saying to Bush, the day after the 9/11 attacks, that 9/11 was an excuse to go after Iraq (even though Hussein had nothing to do with it).

          • kornerr

            Another reason for the Independence War was the fact that Americans wanted their own money, away from the influence of the English Federal Reserve (bank). They wanted their own Federal Bank to issue their money because England had outlawed it when they learned of its existence.

            Why do I believe that ? Because I stumbled open a few speeches from some of the first american presidents that mention just that. I might be wrong, but I think it makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

            The war on England was declared first, but Americans would have to fight their own before they could be "free" since one side feared their way of life would be changed forever, as you mentionned. But that was just war opportunism from one side that thought they'd win by allying themselves with the English. Luckily, they didn't and one of the greatest idea ever was created: the land of the free. Too bad I don't think it's the land of the free so much anymore 😦

    • Radam

      awesome! but buried at sea??? so quickly? sounds a bit iffy to me…………

      • duh

        Why bury him some place where worshipers can come and visit his grave? Erase him from this planet…smart move.

        • DaddyD

          And every time I pee while swimming in the ocean, I am pissing on his grave!

        • b.o.l

          great way to get people to believe you killed him without presenting a body

      • b-ry

        there's holes all over this story.

  • Guest

    #1
    Al qaeosama bin laden is dead!
    Wait, what?

    • greasdupdeafguy

      derp

  • Lars from Norway

    #1 I'm not American, but I know what this represents, and I just want to congratulate you all for making it through 9/11. With Osama's death, you can be a little more at ease, it took some time but he got what he deserved

    • kmd

      and i thought you norwegians were a bit more civilized and against death penalty…

      • LarsfromNorway

        I'm not saying death penalty is the only solution, but he planned the killing of literally THOUSANDS of people in ONE SINGLE day… In this particular case, I don't think sending him to jail would be totally fair, I might be wrong but I think sometimes you need to eliminate a problem by the roots or it will keep growing

    • Fawx

      As nice a victory as it is, it will never make up for the lives he stole.
      I live in Australia, well back in 2001 my teacher was an ex New-Yorker, who's family all still live there. She was completely unable to effectively teach the class all day. She just put on the satellite news, told us to do what we wanted quietly, while she watched the TV in despair.
      Its not just about the lives he stole, but the horrible feeling of helplessness he gave so many others.

      • Chive_On

        Fawx, Thank you. You're about the only one who actually expressed why Osama was on the most wanted list in the first place.

        It's not a matter of revenge, it's a matter of making sure that the son of a bitch doesn't terrorize anyone else.

        • oekter

          most wanted list of the cia

        • wake up

          Osama is dead but his terrorist partners / cells are not. this is not the end by any means.

          • Indy

            Its not you are right. But symbolically, this mean a hell of a lot. God bless our navy seals and our President.

        • b.o.l

          its incredible that people are so ignorant to the fact that the US government created this so called symbol of evil. they trained him and put him into power. the US government is incredibly powerful and allows these terrorists 'attacks' to occur for it's own gain. that's not to say that the entire government is in on these plots, but rather some very high ranking people. now the government comes out with the 'news' that osama is dead. it's possible that he is in fact dead, but he probably died long ago. or he is still alive. don't believe everything you are told. ignorance is the way to control the population

    • musetv

      I'll give my congratulations here too. Well done 'merica!

      • less

        well done, you killed the man you trained and armed

        • Adam

          Can't be right all the time. At least we are cleaning up our mess.

          • never ending

            what's next…the economy?

        • That Guy

          it's true, but there is a time and place you picked the wrong of both.

        • b.o.l

          10 million thumbs up

    • Osama bin DEAD

      Thank you, Lars!!

  • maximum_high

    #1 #2 #13 #21

    America, FUCK YEA!!!

    • king of the swingers

      The story of 21st century 'Merica
      1 – Enemy of the people killed in foreign land
      2 – Gay eagle celebrates
      3 – Is shot down by killer robot-Lincoln riding aristocracy-bear
      4 – obese flag-waving bible-thumping maniac celebrates death of gay bird

      Brings a tear to the eye, no?

  • foshizzle

    #1 you think he is yes. you believe anything you're being told from your goverment americans

    • J Walter Weatherman

      u mad?

    • kent

      We got his body you jealous idiot.

      • musetv

        kent: apparently he was buried at sea, so unless you're aquaman i doubt it.
        foshizzle: shut up. who do you get your news from then? superman?

        today's reply – brought to you by comic books! lol

        • Guest

          musetv: If you would have read the news before today, we got his body yesterday, and buried it at sea today

          • musetv

            all i'm saying is that '5 hours ago' i read it was buried at sea. so yesterday has passed, my guest friend. but, i'd like to add: i'm an english nurse who knows nothing about killing. from what i hear america did a job well done and deserve hearty congratulations! BEERS ALL 'ROUND!

            CHIVE ON

    • Drizzle

      As if Osama had any influence left. Al Qaeda today is not what it used to be in early 2000. It once was a central organisation but it is now completely dissolved into thousands of smaller groups where Osama had no say over.
      Still, good that he's dead though.

    • Edzone

      Actually it was on Wikipedia and I believe anything they say.

    • foshitzzle's dildo

      ok foshizzle…since you know everything…disprove it for us. We'll wait here while you go look for the truth….

    • That Guy

      the reason the body was buried at sea was cause after they took the picture as proof, they messed the fucking shit out of it. best get rid of the rest of him. i just hope no videos comes out showing them mutilating the body.

      • Kim

        sorry, but that picture is old, just google it and you will find out that it´s been around for some time.=/

    • Your Face

      sorry you can't enjoy the sweet nectar of living in Merica!

      • Kyle

        lol… Firstly, can you possibly imagine, just for one second, the sheer stupidity of announcing that we have, 110% certain, without a doubt, killed Osama Bin Laden, when we hadn't? Take that one step further. What happens then? What in GOD'S GREEN EARTH would stop Osama from making a video and destroying our credibility? You can't announce something like that unless you can prove it. He's dead. Quit rooting for a freakin' terrorist just because you don't like America.

  • DweebsterDeluxe

    #20
    bout damn time!

    • wilson

      and the naive norwegians gave this murderer a nobel prize…

      • Foley

        Well considering he apparently achieved it when the previous leader couldn't for years I reckon he's all good. Although this seems like a very well timed smoke screen to aid in re-election and unfortunately 10 years of wasted money and lives has left me cynical to a point. Even though it's probably pretty gruesome I kinda need to see a picture of the body. Not just a fucking location on google maps.

        • LineHog

          Totally agree, the sad part of all this is Obama will take the credit for Osama's death.

          • mac

            yes he can

        • RiHugh

          I'm over in Korea and they were showing pictures of his body already. He has kind of an "ewww that fuckin hurt look on his face."

    • David

      He didn't actually personally kill Osama though. It's not like he got a gun and shot him himself.
      Really it was the military, CIA etc who should be getting that achievement

      • Indy

        True, CIA and Navy Seals, but he is the Commander and Chief, and he did create this initiative in June 2009, to get the CIA to focus on killing Osama, and he was the one who made the call. I give credit where credit is due.

    • eat balls, internet!

      dude is a fucking chump. worst leader we've ever had.

      • Poop Shoot

        Hahaha, funny name. But your an idiot, we had Bush for president, gonna be hard to beat that retard.

  • mko

    #21 land of the violent bigoted pious obese

    • Red Rabbit

      We're not pious.

      • dr oekter

        really? you just mention god in every single political speech, use the bible as work instument in court and print his name on your money… you can't do business, justice or politics without your religion. and many of you even deny evolution…

        • Goldskull

          I think that qualifies America as "religious," but probably not "pious." For what it's worth (and I'll not kid myself. It's the internet so it's worthless) I'm American and neither of those adjectives applies. My experience has been that Americans are in general not tremendously religious or superstitious, but those who are display it so ardently that it's just not worth the trouble of fighting them on it.

        • Adam

          I am all for stereo typing, it can be funny. Heck if we did a bit more I might to able to get through the airport without someone fondling my nuts. But in all seriousness there are a lot of spiritual people in the US, but not that many religious nuts. Also, I am sorry but even if you were completely right in what you said, at least we don’t stone women, or cut off hands for stealing. A little religion can go a long way to a better world, I think the US balances it pretty well without going overboard.

        • yoselahonda

          Pious is only a bad think to the bigoted haters of those who freely and openly exercise their freedom to worship. Haters gonna hate, but it still makes you the hater.

        • Brutal Deluxe

          We don't deny all evolution, just yours

    • musetv

      god bless 'merica

    • yoselahonda

      Since when was a gun in and of itself violent? What about this photo is bigoted? Since when was being pious a bad thing? More people should live their lives with a reverence for something. And that guy is likely overweight, but not yet obese.____I think you revealed more about your own bigotry in this post than anybody else's.

      • someone else

        The threshold for obesity is a lot lower than most people realize. Just saying.

    • Osama bin DEAD

      fuck you, mko

  • Kyle

    #9 IT'S GARFIELD!!!

    • drksdr

      i thought it was a sailboat…

      ….truthfully i cant see shit.

      • Red Rabbit

        its not a sailboat, its a schooner!

      • Derp

        Can't see shit Captain.

      • TitoRigatoni

        What you need is a fatty-boom-batty blunt! And I guarantee you'll be seeing a sailboat, an ocean, and maybe even some of those big-tittied mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit!

        • bigdickmcgee

          snoogins

    • akropolis

      you're a gifted one my child

    • Chelios

      i was scared that it wuld be the Forever Aolne meme :S or some shit like that

    • GK-4

      what's that? You want me to steal Lasagna?…whatever you wish

  • Netoward

    #1 , #20 Revenge is a meal which should be eaten… Cold. It took time, but at least he paid.

    • malakias

      revenge? wasn't it supposed to be about justice?

      • Netoward

        You are right, the right word is punishment.

        • un-believer

          assuming we (america) was told the truth.

    • theo

      well, actually the taxpayers paid.
      meanwhile in china…

  • patriot

    #1 USA! USA! USA!

  • Julien

    #20 like a boss

    • neutraldespot

      That's a bit generous isn't it? Considering it took ten years and all and Obama didn't actually do it. Fair play instead to the guys on the choppers.

      • Julien

        touche

      • RiHugh

        I seriously doubt our guys just boarded a chopper and winged this shit. You know as well as anyone else that we can't so much as fart sideways without 16 levels of approval. President Obama had the nuts to tell the Pakis to step the fuck off and sent our guys in there to finish this up. Something that Clinton and Bush could not seem to pull off. Can we not just admit he did something good today? That WE did something good today?

        • shaka

          I will admit that "we" did something good, but not that shitstain!

          • 2co57

            Get over it shitstain licker.
            All as one, 'merica!

          • McBeastie

            Great job shaka. Just keep dividing us during a time we should all get together as one to celebrate.

      • Indy

        After President Obama started the initiative to focus priority on getting Osama, it took the CIA less than two years. Bush wasn't focused on it as priority as he said.

        He directed the CIA to organize this, and made the call on how to get it done. I don't agree with the president on many things, but he deserves credit for being the Commander and Chief, and getting Osama.

  • Kai

    USA #1 , tap tap motha focka

    • thunderstorm

      tap water

  • http://www.facebook.com/jonacemd Jonathan Acevedo

    According to a senior U.S. Official, Bin Laden's exact location was determined following the release of his personal information from Sony's recently hacked PlayStation Network…

    • Thanks

      That is the most topical joke I have ever heard. I lol'd

  • http://galletto.tumblr.com/ Galletto3

    #6 Who really killed Osama
    and #21 'MERICA

    • kto

      so the jesus is a murderer?

    • plyo

      #21 more of him tomorrow, on burn your bra tuesday!

    • wilson

      if jesus is such a badass, why did he wait 10 years?

      • That Guy

        he took a 10 year hiatus as a tattoo… obviously.

  • kent

    It's pretty funny how jealous anti-Americans are.

    They can't ever, ever feel happy for the US. Anti-Americanism is so perverse that people are actually upset that the US killed Osama. The US killed the most wanted man in the world. It wasn't just the US trying to get him. But that doesn't matter. The US did something good so anti-Americans are angry about it and need to rain on our parade.

    Haters gonna hate…

    #21

    • Shaun

      Do you really think the rest of the world is mad that you killed Bin Laden? One of the most dangerous people on the planet and who attacked you on your own soil? Really…? The rest of us are just as happy as you are that he's gone. Trust me.

    • oekter

      this fellow burned his bra…

    • boki019

      that same `merica bombarded coyntru 10 y ago in the middle of Europe….
      and there was no oil, no money…no osama. no nothing… And now even more there is nothing, after USA bombs…

      • Adam

        I did not understand what you said……. all I see is turd rage.

      • Adam

        Sorry, I don't speak Gungan

      • McBeastie

        I love a good bottle of 10 y old coyntru.

    • itjutme

      Most wanted man wanted by Americans doesn't mean most wanted man by the entire world, you ignorant tit. Do tell, what exactly did you or the redneck in the picture do to achieve this goal? Well done to the soldiers who went in and did the job, but it's exactly that misguided patriotism that makes people hate americans. It's not that you killed a terrorist, no, that was a good job. It's your general attitude.

      • itjutme's daddy

        Fuck off D Bag.

      • itjutme's mom

        I wish I would have had an abortion…

        • itjutme

          And you wonder why people hate you.

          • itjutme's mom

            Weird because I am getting the thumbs up here son. Take a gander at your rating.

            • itjutme

              Yea, because people on Chive voting for you makes America great?

              • itjutme's brother

                itjutme #losing

      • Anonymousmouse

        Actually, bin Laden was pretty well-hated by many other countries. The many crimes he orchestrated has killed hundreds of people world-wide from nations such as Kenya, Germany, Libya, Egypt, Albania, Jordan and Tanzania. He openly supported terrorists groups who've attacked countries like Britain, the Philippines, and threatened harm on others. He'd been on Interpol's wanted list for the better part of two decades (for crimes that neither included the US or US citizens).

        When people refer to him as the most wanted man in the world, they're correct. Because he has been the subject of the largest manhunt and biggest media blitz in the history of criminal apprehension. Yes, those efforts were mainly American (at least, for the last ten years) but that doesn't contradict the fact that that effort was the biggest to be made.

        Thank you for acknowledging that our soldiers did well, but saying that our attitude is the reason that people hate is inane. Because we Americans are patriotic, but we only get aggressively patriotic when other people feel the need to point out that we deserve to be hated.

      • McBeastie

        speaking of 'tude.

      • kent

        YOUR general attitude is the reason most Americans don't give a crap. You're want to do nothing but bash the US so when Americans show pride, you get angry, even though you have no problem without anyone else including your own countrymen being arrogant assholes.

      • kent

        And yes, bin Laden was the most wanted man in the world YOU IGNORANT MORON.

        Tell me, if it wasn't Osama, who was it?

    • Sergio

      I'm not american (well, living in Mexico I actually am american, since America is the name of a whole continent) and I have often been against U.S. foreign policy. But the decease of someone like Bin Laden should be viewed by all as a good thing. Anyone who attacks innocent people and cause such pain and sorrow to so many families deserves to die. I hope this brings closure to the victims' families. Sure, in the short term there may be retaliation by his minions and followers, but in the long run i think his death makes the world a better place. My thoughts are with those who lost someone on that terrible morning, may this bring you peace.

    • Libertariandude

      Well said. I hail from the typical retarded Latin American country, where the "yanquis" and rich local people are hated for no good reason. Anti-Americanism is a pathetic disease, it's the mindblock of the poor useless bastards who can't accept the US of A are the most successful (and fundamentally benign) large country in the history of mankind.

      • Anonymousmouse

        Speaking as a (legal) immigrant to the US, I have to totally agree. People can rage-hate all they want about the US and its citizens, but at the end of the day, more people want to come here than any where else in the world. And I for one am well-aware that the life I live now is better than it could have been had the US not graciously opened its borders to people like me and my family.

      • kohl

        history of mankind???

  • markus schulz

    #9
    is sick!

    • Ben

      I wonder how many of us simply leaned back

  • Mmm_Ciao
    • Ted Danson

      I fuckin' love it

    • mike

      Amazing!

    • Yup

      At first I only saw him say it and start to walk off before I closed the tab, but the second it actually closed I saw him kick down the door and I actually lol'd. Thanks for that!

  • mn11bravo

    #20 I would give more credit to the army, marines, navy, and airforce.

    • bob lee swagger

      CIA, he took credit like he did it. ALL CIA AND ARMED FORCES. semper fi

      • Indy

        He's the commander and chief, he put the directive to get Osama as a top priority into motion, he made the decision on how to get him using seals. They ALL deserve credit. God Bless America!

    • shaka

      He wants to take credit for things that he did not do. what a shithole.

      • Neverhood

        Are you fucking kidding me you moron? He's done nothing but relay credit to the armed forces and intelligence operatives across the nations involved in this operation. Semper Fidelis indeed…what a joke some of you are…

      • Rational

        He's Kenyan too right? Idiot.

    • McBeastie

      I couldn't stand Bush, but I'd be man enough to give him props if he was in charge today. Haters.

  • hueyrocks

    #20 – Obama's 2012 slogan – "We killed Bin Laden"

    • Ryan Smith

      seriously! he is set for another term…..it's in the fuckin bag now

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Aubin/1211755636 Ryan Aubin

        Hardly. There's more than a year and a half left until the election. Gas prices are rising, Food prices are rising. The dollar is losing value and the rest of the economy is still in the crapper and not recovering. Americans, with our unfortunate short memories, will forget about bin laden being killed in a month. This is a good thing for our idiot president (and for the USA and the world) but it does not in any way mitigate the damage he has done to the country.

        • shaka

          Obama did not even do this, it came on the backs of the programs that Bush began, and Obama wanted to stop. he can blame Bush for everything that is wrong, and try to take credit for anything right> I don't think so.

          • Ninjack

            Fun Facts: The dollar grew stronger after news of Osama's death and oil slide a little. The Economy is recovering in areas of stocks, growth and even unemployment (though very little) to say the economy isn't recovering is to ignore what a majority of economists are saying. And Bush didn't start the CIA or covert ops, and this mission was a covert military strike on foreign soil, which probably means that it needed direct approval from the President to go ahead. Stop being so bitchy and enjoy that a mass murder/terrorist was killed.

            • El Chiverino

              dummy

              • Vagina Jones

                Dummy = Factual.

          • Indy

            "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." -G.W. Bush, 3/13/02

            "I am truly not that concerned about him." -G.W. Bush, 3/13/02

            On June 2, 2009: President Obama signed a memo to CIA Director Leon Panetta stating "in order to ensure that we have expanded every effort, I direct you to provide me within 30 days a detailed operation plan for locating and bringing to justice Osama bin Laden."

            Come again? Dipshit.

    • Adam

      Go Trump 2012!! We don't need a community organizer, who only knows how to spend other peoples money. We need a businessman who knows how to make money.

      • Ted Danson

        Trump is truly a model of business success, as evidenced by the repeated bankruptcies of his businesses.

      • Bilboa

        Yea lets elect a guy because he was born with a Rich daddy! Trumps a fuckin' clown.

      • McBeastie

        Holy Shit! It's like I spotted Sasquatch or something. Someone who actually takes Trump seriously.

    • That Guy

      ya he gave an order… a nod of the head… the military delivered this to us. it happened under his watch is all… lots other things happened too.

      • Fact Check

        He did much more than that dude. Get your info straight. He ordered the CIA to come up with a plan to make killing Osama a priority and less than two years later they did it. They want to use bombs, he said he wanted the body, and got it. The man delivered. Thats a fuckin' leader.

        Bush said it wasn't even a priority and he didn't think about it all that much. President Obama FTW.

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #6 hey jesus, where are you goin' with that gun in yo' hand?

    • reason

      what could be more american than this tattoo?

      • kto

        a burger?

    • mike

      Im going to shoot my ol' lady, ya know i caught messing around with another man…

      • xXbeermonkeyXx

        yeah, im goin' down to shoot down my ol' lady now. you know i caught her messin' 'round with another man, and that aint too cool

        • TitoRigatoni

          Hey, Jesus, I heard you shot your woman down, shot her down now.

  • https://www.facebook.com/bfcknrzl Brad Stevens

    #3 Super Sick

    • jon

      It's a hotel in downtown Dallas

    • Guest

      I can't look at it without thinking, the glass at the end is gonna break one day, and everyone in the pool will be flushed out off the side of the building.

      • Gus

        Not a chance. It's very thick glass like at an aquarium. The pool is only about six stories up, overlooking the street. It's interesting to walk along below and suddenly see guys standing, staring up. Hot chicks, in swimsuits, sometimes press themselves against the glass.

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