Daily Afternoon Randomness in HQ (37 Photos)

Thanks again to Speechless Tees for sending us that amazing Cornhole Board.

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  • Brother Maynard

    HQ DAR, I'm still at work, but the weekend has started, just need a beer.

    • States obvious

      Hell yeah to #7 and #13

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      im at work too,co-worker just brought me a cold beer.my day is complete! #4

    • anonnnnn

      fuck work AAAHBGAHA I HATE IT!! no more work!!!!!!!!!!!! RAGEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.thechive.com Azrrael

    #4 happy friday for you too chive!!

    • equalizermax

      #24 – Guess who's gay?

  • 4xaClown

    #34 #25 #15 There is a God.

  • m-key

    #7
    Maverick, you just did an incredibly brave thing. What you should have done was land your plane

    • forthwith

      you don't own that plane, the taxpayers do

      • Glenn_Coco

        Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

      Or stopped acting.

    • patov40

      You've been busted, you lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral's daughter!

      • Kodos

        and you, asshole.. you're lucky to be here!!

      • thedix

        Penny Benjamin?

    • Kodos

      You'll be flyin' a cargo plane fulla rubber dog shit outta Hong Kong!

      That is all…

    • panama99

      how can some-one so short actually fly a jet!!!!

  • Haterade

    It is a common charge against my posts that, as someone disappointed with the Chive, I should leave and never come back. Perhaps this is true. Yet, much like the curiosity of a mother whose daughter has abandoned her principles and entered into a life of poor choices, I cannot help but revisit the site that once was the epitome of proper community and all that the internet could offer.

    I visit to see its growth. I visit in hopes that the prior community has somehow miraculously reappeared, freed from the chains of misogynistic culture and blind followers. Alas, my visits have yet to satisfy my desire to see the Chive returned to its prior glory. And no doubt the inevitable comments that will follow will once again lead me to despair over a love lost. Ah, Chive, you were once a wonderful lover, but have turned sour suckling on the sweet of jockstrap.

    If not clear previously, I’d like to clarify that I am not hating on John and his fellow creators. They, like many great bands spoiled by their followers, have no control over the visitors to their website. Surely, they could reduce the soft core porn and return to true randomness as it was initially envisioned. Yet they should not be forced to modify their interests or behavior to rid themselves of the plague of jocks that have ascended on this website.

    Thus springs my hatred for jocks. No prior pain they have inflicted upon me directly induces my hatred. Rather, it is their tendency to ruin that which is beautiful in the world. The nerd dance club is perhaps the greatest example of their plague. Countless nerd dance clubs who cater to the lonely and awkward merely wanting to shake without the meat market mentality have been ruined by the jock plague. As the pretty young females learn of this wonderful place where they may shake without being harassed, they ascend and make dance with no goal of anonymous sex. As the jocks learn of this magical place, they begin to invade, one shiny shirt at a time. Soon enough the nerds and pretty young girls must leave to find new grounds for their innocent joy, leaving nothing but the smell of drakar noir and the sheen of new collared shirts to fight amongst themselves, distraught with the failure of fucking someone they don’t know.

    • Finster172

      What a gaylord.

      • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

        did anyone really read all of this? or do most chivers have a short attention span when it comes to reading?

        • Martin

          I stopped after I found out I was an asshole. apparently.

        • aussie

          Kinda think that is what he was saying.

      • STC

        Have to agree with the hatred of shinny collared shirts.

      • TISGREAT

        No. The guy has a point. I know exactly what he is talking about. When I was young, although I never thought of myself as a nerd, many hangout spots were destroyed by the type of people this guy describes. How I long for those places to be undisturbed, but it will not happen. I am a relative newcomer to this site and I truly hope I am not the douche he describes. I do not try to be a douche here or in my own real world life. If I am may I express my deepest sympathies.

      • LeonardoB

        Hello, good evening and welcome to talk bollix

    • Brother Maynard

      No one care about you.

    • uber guy

      enough of this. I'm here for the lol's. so is everybody else. please stop taking up space on the first page.

      • Angry Kid

        If you want actual lols, you'll have to travel to the alternate universe that is the 2+ pages, since it actually takes people time to come up with something witty and entertaining to say.

        • Frapenstein

          You're one vexed adolescent.

          • Angry Kid

            Congratulations, you have paraphrased my name…

            • mikey

              No, he is calling you a crybaby

              • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vance-Garner/100000536796746 Vance Garner

                I don't think he was actually crying though.

    • FriscoEd

      Cool story, bro.

      • Admiral Ackbar

        Coulda used a ninja!

        • KyleHeier

          There's a few in there… you just can't see them.

        • Dylan

          that made me LOL

          • thing

            I'm lolling right now

    • jason

      suckling on the sweet of jockstrap…. freudian slip?

    • mikey

      What a tool…

    • http://www.facebook.com/whitney.southworth whitneysouth

      As much as we love when you write novels about your dislike for the chive's progression…
      (reality is, everyone and everything adapts in one way or another, and if you don't like the change… then leave. no one is making you stay. thechive is not your wayward daughter, and thank god for that)

      • bbbutter

        love you south…smokin!

      • jetrome

        Amen, Sister!

        From a nerd.

      • bumblefish1985

        What get me is that his post is roughly 400-500 words long and that he was the 5th person to comment on todays DAR. In my expeirence writing a small essay takes a few hours, not a few seconds. I have a feeling that he wrote this through out the course of the day and then copy/pasted it as soon as humanly possible. I feel bad for him.

        • Blumpkin

          I'm gunna go out on a limb here and say that everyone is aware the person copied and pasted a previously written book in the comments.

        • https://www.facebook.com/masternatron Nathan Bowen

          c'est exact my friend. Haterade is lame.

      • JSM

        Don't drink the haterade Whitney. We know how you get when you drink.

        • Angry Kid

          Too soon!

      • Bollyver

        Just like country music…

    • Allen

      You also like it's content

    • busted

      I'm pretty pumped that you probably took days to prepare this in word, and you still missed the first post.

    • Taylor

      prior glory? you are aware the chive just entered the top 500 Alexa this week. it's popularity is skyrocketing… which is amazing b/c they are not some huge corporate machine. just some amazingly talented doods in a room.

      oh, and you didn't even look at the DAR today. you don't even look at the posts. you had that whole worthless diatribe written up last night and you copied an pasted it as soon as the DAR went live.
      it might as well have read, 'hey everybody, look at ME'

      you're pathetic

      • Angry Kid

        It's ranked 1,803 on Alexa…. just FYI. Alexa toolbar ftw.

        • Taylor

          i think he's referring to the US Alexa rank, which is 493 🙂

          • Jackass

            You forgot to change your name before, you posted to support yourself. 😉

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

              I have both a life and this thing called, 'real friends'. You probably haven't heard of it
              *adjusts non-prescription glasses*

              • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

                I are idiot

                • Angry Kid

                  I actually had to thumb this comment up, despite my tendency to automatically reach for the downward facing appendage when running across your blither.

                  • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

                    Hey, you can reach for my downward facing appendage when running across my blither anytime you want, baby.

                    • Angry Kid

                      Fuck, not this guy too.

                    • oh4fuckssake

                      This is the first time I've ever agreed with you.

                    • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

                      Bringing trolls together, one douche at a time. ❤

                    • Angry Kid

                      Thank you, ignorant racist, for your valuable input.

                    • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

                      I thought it was only racist if you actually meant it. Either way, you're welcome. I always appreciate appreciation. Hopefully you appreciate the appreciation of appreciation.

                    • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

                      His black friends really love his racism, jackoff.

                    • hMMMM

                      His black friends probably are not really black.

      • thing

        word of the day:

        diatribe

        • its_forge

          Also, "Flounce."

      • its_forge

        Popularity doesn't equal quality. = )

    • sniggi

      lol didn't read

    • doot

      TL:DR…or care

    • bbbutter

      Someone needs a hug…

      signed,
      A Jock (without a shiny shirt or drakkar)

    • Del

      GTFO

    • Anon

      Hipster.

      Although I do agree with the douche invasion issue. Everytime I see a typical sexist "make me a sandwich" or "why isn't she in the kitchen" type comment… ugh. Fucktards.

      • aosux

        Yes, the comments are becoming repetitive and juvenile. Also, this week has had more reposts than usual. But I still love this place!

      • http://www.kingdomofloathing.com Daniel

        I think they are meant ironically. A friend of mine once made a fake petition and only let women sign it. It read: "End Women's Suffrage!" He wound up with over 500 signatures from the local college.

    • Ryan Smith

      cool story bra

    • Ned Flanders

      Welcome to the internets. "Community" is looking at tits and laughing at people. If you believe otherwise you are naive.

    • Bluto

      And in one swoop, you have confirmed what everybody already thought about you. It all makes perfect sense… you are one sad, lonely individual. Sorry about your lack of success at the nerd dance club, whatever the hell that is.

    • Hipster Troll

      I agree, the chive used to be good, but it's way too mainstream now.

      • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

        did you come here before anyone else knew about it?

    • Angry Kid

      That was actually rather hilariously written. I applaud you for breaking the monotony of the comment section. While I don't agree with everything you say, I think you laid it out pretty clearly. I, for one, was rather entertained.

      Chive on.

      • Blumpkin

        You would think since it was written in another document and copy/pasted into the comment section the person would have proof-read it and used spell check.

        • Angry Kid

          There is no "spell check" in "passion."

          • Blumpkin

            I was actually talking about the original book

            • Angry Kid

              You mean the old Testament?

              • Capitalsfan74

                HAHAHAHA!!! That was actually pretty good.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

      I thought I did a lot of elitist bitching, but you, sir, have the corner on that. If you hate it, leave and stop writing novels about it like an obsessed ex.

      • Angry Kid

        NO!!!!! YOU LEAVE! … your phone number. I'm lonely.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

          1-360-ITS-ATRAP

          • Angry Kid

            What's an "atrap?" 1-800-TITS-A-FAP is more like it.

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

              Just go check out holding sector MD7 and you'll find out.

              • Angry Kid

                I'd rather hold your 80085 sector.

                • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

                  She does have some bangin' ta-ta's… however I don't see you getting a handle on them anytime soon

                  • Angry Kid

                    You wouldn't, I'm a trained ninja.

                    • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

                      Well your avatar fits, then.

                • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

                  Your school has the word 'boobs' blocked, doesn't it?

        • Jak

          Haha. I found that more amusing than I should have

    • Don_Aguelo

      This is what I understood:

      blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah THE CHIVE blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

      blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah SOFT CORE PORN blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

      blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah MEAT MARKET blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I AM A FAG.

    • shitfaced

      The afternoon of Haterade:

      open browser http://www.chive.com
      refresh
      no DAR
      refresh
      still no DAR
      refresh
      waiting for DAR
      refresh
      DAR!
      scroll down, do not look at pics
      copy pre-written nonsense from word
      paste
      submit comment
      Yes! First page of comments. Now the world can know how much I dislike this website.
      Glad it only took my entire afternoon…
      I wish I had more friends.
      Cries self to sleep.

    • Smoke

      You are right. I extremely feeling disgusted seeing someone abusing this website to brag about themselves. Typical example is Lauren Gentile. I was told how awesome Chive is before but after visiting I am very disappointed. The whole website is about her and her "career". They even stopped DAR for one just for her. Weird enough. It can do better than that….

      • AbedNadir

        So, you like dudes. Deal with it.

        • Surf and Snow

          Or, like me he sees far hotter women at the gym all the time. I take it you dont get out much.

          • AbedNadir

            Anon knocking a hot chick for being hot. Don't browse the site then. Go spot some ripped dudes at the gym.

          • Attn

            Are you retarded? No girl will strip so fast like her and let me see their skins. I want something easy. So I come to this website to look at pics of her. EASY! But I still hate this website! A little betteer than porn site or meat market but….almost the same.

      • comtes

        fuck off then

        • Attn

          U fuck off…

      • Surf and Snow

        Amen brother. Way too much time and attention for a 7. Id rather see Whitney in the Chivette photo shoot.

        • Attn

          Idiot!

    • everton

      Can't always please everyone. But I can tell you right now you won't be missed. The Chive is great and that's why so many people come here so many times a day to enjoy and laugh, and sometimes speacially on hump day to not get up from your desk for some time 😉

    • nnn

      If you want to dance without getting looked at, fucking dance at home

    • Jak

      I'll be honest I didn't read your chapter but I just wanted to join in the fun. You suck big elephant cock you ass clown.

    • Poontangler

      How late did you stay up last night stamping out this never ending diatribe? There are titties, asses, and hilarity floating all over the Chive and you're bitching about jocks? Get your fucking mind right. If you want to rant about something, write your congressman asshole. If this has spun you into a tailspin, life is going to be truly brutal for you.

      • thing

        Another use of the word 'diatribe'… awesome!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Krysta-Lee/1559343576 Krysta Lee

      I hope you're a troll! D:
      Amd I'm pretty sure that this place is called "The best site in the world"
      You don't get to be one of the best without something everybody loves:
      1) Laughing
      2) Something interesting to look out
      3) And boobs (Plus hump day, and mind the gap, and so on and so forth) So…
      tits or gtfo.

      • aleXTC

        Well said Krysta

      • aleXTC

        *insert platitude kissing your ass* Krysta

      • its_forge

        It's called "The Best Site In The World" because the people who created it **call it that.** Let's not confuse laudation with marketing okay?

    • hybridqube

      TL;DR

    • RufioRufioRuFi

      More importantly for me, not so much the points that you are trying to make, but the way you are writing it. It's clear you put time into it coming up with obscure shocking analogies and metaphors, but the worst part is that they really didn't work. You're trying too hard. It's littered with them, causing your little essay to just end up being watered down. You've found a way to make this pointless droll fail on so many levels. Congratulations.

      It's like a used tampon in a toaster launched to space in the Movie the Matrix that didn't take the blue pill. Right.

      • Angry Kid

        Nice attempt at an insult from someone who has the peacock equivalent of an avatar. Flamboyant much?

        • Jackass

          Its Rufio dumbass. From the movie 'Hook'. Go watch it.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

          RU
          FI
          OHHHHHHHH!!!

          • RufioRufioRuFi

            Hahaha thank you HellHath NoFury… I like to think my avatar ends up pointing out which people posting on here are children. Not changing it.

            • Angry Kid

              Did the "Kid" in my name give it away or do you just assume that everyone are children, like in Never Never land. MJ, you?

              • Paco

                Everyone are children. Truest statement ever.

                • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

                  My brain wants so badly to say that it's grammatically incorrect I can't stand it!

          • RufioRufioRuFi

            Also, I've been waiting for someone to write that 🙂

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

              I say it in bed.

              • RufioRufioRuFi

                Haha did this just get weird? 😉

                • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

                  If I'm here, it's weird.

                  • Rick

                    Miss you HHNF, dont know why you cant post without some asshole following you around.

            • Angry Kid

              Also, change your avatar.

    • hoosker

      "Forever Alone" should have been his closing sentence.

    • kornerr

      I been Chiving for about two years or so (not too sure, don't really care) and yes I have seen the change you are talking about. I, for one, don't mind it. TheChive was fun back then and is now diffently fun (more posts = more fun even if dillutted).

      I would say you have a gripe against "word of mouth". When people like something, they talk about it and that's how it gets popular. A community is always influenced by its members so popularity/newcomers will always bring changes with them. It is just pointless to fight against that and my advice to you would be to take action against your frustration (as in getting rid of it instead of letting it all out).

      Also, your rants are selfish. Don't you think that those who invest their time and hearts into making their enterprise a success may wish it so ? I would recommend that you at least try to be positive about your rants, what you're doing just seems pointless to me …

      • Nice

        That was a great post. Rational and realistic.

        • Nice

          Because it agrees with my point of view.

          • Nice

            Actually, I didn't initially. But then I appreciated 'kornerrs' rationality and found it to be realistic so I decided to post what I did.

            Now get out of my skin, it feels weird.

    • TiminPhx

      The next time your Writing Muse encourages you to type out a long post, strangle the bitch instead.

    • OwnerOfYou

      Shut up, Dick. I'm not a jock, or a nerd, or anything you chose to condescendingly label. I'm just an average joe American, damn proud of it.

      Go suck it!

      • China

        average american joe,

        when did we let you out of the kitchen?

        • Angry Kid

          There's no room in a Chinese kitchen for a fat American, what with all the people living in it.

          • Jake

            There is apparently also no room for you and funny jokes…

    • Erica

      Just curious; do you happen to suffer Asperger syndrome?

      • Haterade

        No I don't you idiot!

        • HottieChick

          Aww sounds a little defensive…

          I still love you haterade. You are one of the best trolls I've ever seen.

        • DapperDanMan

          Yes you do.

        • thing

          ass burger… duh.

        • Haterade

          took this long to get a fake haterade? I'm impressed chivers…

      • soup

        trollolololololol

    • Darnia

      Haterade = FAIL!

    • Timothy Nowell

      Got a TL;DR version?

      • Capitalsfan74

        Yeah, I got one…

        "I'm a bitter, condescending hypocrite that doesn't realize I am as bad as the people I claim to hate"

    • RiHugh

      Sounds like a pre-Columbine rampage manifesto to me.

      Chive is all things to all people my friend. You have jocks, nerds, young, old, military, pacifists, hipsters,etc. I have witnessed a group of 18 year olds gawking at the Chivettes in one room of my building and then literally walked upstairs and seen a 50 year old dude laughing at the Motivational posters. I get irked when it takes a lean towards frat boy humor but at the end of the day these dudes need to appeal to the largest fan base that they can. no one group is claiming ownership of the site.

      Come check out what you like and leave the rest. I'm not a fan of the Chivettes, I'm a grown man, if I want to see tits I'll go to one of the billion web pages that shows the full monty and stop cock teasing myself. Chill out bro and by the way, no one will ever take a dude seriously whose name is Haterade. It kind of implies that anything out of your mouth is vitriolic malice.

      • Seannerz

        Well said.

    • pnc

      holy shit, get off your high horse. if you don't like it, then stop coming. or at least don't comment and spare the rest of us. Also- is it just me, or when people talk like they're high and mighty, do they end up sounding even more stupid? Just talk like a fucking normal person, you're not better than anyone else here. In fact, you're probably worse off than anyone else here. Fuck….

    • Seannerz

      To break it down, it basically sounds like the version of the Chive as you remember it has passed which bums you out and you blame it on "jocks" that frequent this site? If that's correct then the part of your perspective that's askew is that "jocks" as you see them (which you literally don't because they're just a name on a screen btw) are really just a label you've given to "people who don't share your point of view". So you don't like the crowd around here anymore. You'd prefer the good old days. Unfortunately, that's part of life. Is that a fair assessment? Why not enjoy the content and just refrain from reading the comments? That's where the jocks are, right?

    • THE TRUTH

      PAULA, HERE'S HOW TO TROLL REALLY GOOD, LEARN SOMETHING, BIG FAT GUY!

    • jvblkjet

      Dude…you need to get laid….

    • mikeymike

      you are a huge gay, fuckin hipster

    • Maynard B.

      zzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….

    • konaehukai

      My advice. Do a bong hit, get a hooker and chill brah.

    • ExistentialBanana

      Nice trolling sir.

    • http://blackbunny.net AVG

      Haterade gonna HATE

    • Aymz

      Let me start off by saying i go to med school, meaning i generally have a high tolerance for boredom, and boring reading….I spent 8 hours looking at the difference between pink and and dark pink once…and i could not get thru a paragraph of this rubbish…Listen im generally a silent but avid chiver, I dont reply much…BUT DAMN STFU..PLS…WHO WAKES UP AND DECIDED I KNOW IM GOING TO CHANGE EVERYONES MIND ONLINE TODAY…IIsten i like boobies and they like me too, if thats misogyny then that would make a misogynous pig. But all i know is chive with my girl and were into it!
      Diagnosis: YOUR STUPID
      Rx: JUMP OFF A CLIFF AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING

    • Mr.Happy24

      Dude just say you like the pictures

    • Stone

      Cool Story, Bro.

    • John

      Bro, the link to theBERRY is at the top…

      Sincerely,
      Jock

    • Hater part Deux

      It's not news that jocks are retards, but I appreciate you candor. I come from a college town in NE and this place is infested with the trash. Fortunately, they are all talk and frequently get ther asses kicked (badly I might add) by the locals who don't take shit. City boys may think they're tough but do not EVER fuck with a country boy. We will redefine you understanding of the word 'pain'.
      Case in point- a very large friend of mine beating the unholy shit out of 6-7 rugby players on thier front lawn while we watched with smiles on our faces, merely because they told us to fuck off when we walked by and said 'hey guys'. They regretted it, pretty goddamned quick, I assure you. Don't come to VT and act like an asshole, because you will not like what happens. We're not the type of people who throw punches, we like inflicting a different kind of pain.

    • Haterade

      181 downvotes and 168 replies. It's my new record. Thanks guys. I even got HHNF out of the woodworks.

      Just so you know, I wrote that out in about ten minutes, while being paid by my boss, and then yes, I spent ten more minutes refreshing the Chive to get on the first page, still getting paid.

      At the end of the day, hate hating hated haters still hate hate, but I love most of you, especially those who express their lack of interest through equally long diatribes (that one was for you, word of the day guy).

  • Fright

    That's a load #36

    • Hammer

      You're Chuck Norris?

      • Lou101

        Happened here in South Africa

    • YupYupYup

      No More Roadhead for you!!

  • Brother Maynard

    #14 You also have the best beer in the world.

    • ILuvBoobs

      I know! 😀
      That's why I keep drinking it!

    • Bacchus

      We have the only beer in the world, my friend :-). All the other stuff is just piss with bubbles – pardon my French. Greetz from BE!

    • Dries

      I see there are fellow Belgians here! We do have the best beers! Chive on!

    • Dreamy

      other Belgian chivers? sweet!
      beer, fries and chocolate: check
      government? n/a

    • Brakaism

      poppin them jupilerz

    • Seynie

      I know we do Tripel Karmeliet ftw

  • Paula_

    After seeing this weeks Sexy Chivers (holy shit!) I'm getting more and more curious about the bandwith usage (and bill!) of The Chive…

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you used to date

    • Ryan Smith

      i believe you have some troll competition above you!

      • Paula_

        He's not trolling. He should have stopped after the third section and not take forever rewriting it to a too formal piece but yes, I see his POV.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the creature under your bed

        • ThisPaulaSux

          Give Paula back her profile. You are the suckiest Paula ever.

    • Anonymous

      Go away.

    • Matthew

      I just give Paula a thumbs down as soon as I see the name. Don't even read the post.

      • Paula_

        Good for me! I need more stickers.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – 1 sticker for every thumb down

      • Jim

        your exactly the type of mindless follower haterade is talking about

    • TIZ

      Haterade has taken your spot as most hated chiver. You need to do something about that. I just realized you were right I do love to hate you.

      • Paula_

        I seeeeriously do not care about rankings dear.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

        • NIron

          This is bigger than you Paula, we all know the only thing that can kill a troll is an even trollier troll. The question is, will you rise up and fulfil your destiny or be ground into the dust…..

          Now get up there and fight!

          • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

            To troll is to go against the grain. If the grain is to re-troll the troll, then the troll will do something else. Don't provide instructions for a product you don't know how to operate 😛

            • Truth

              FACT.

            • Y isBoBack?

              SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!

              Go back to The Berry where you belong

          • Slappy

            Paula may be a troll…but she's our troll. A loyal chiver troll.

    • shitfaced

      Paula,

      226 comments into the DAR this afternoon and you're only at -1. We actually like you now. You are no longer a troll, you are a chiver. Welcome.

      • Paula_

        Yeah, but then again I wasn't trolling this time hmmm?
        Anyway I still carry the red flag proudly!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        Q2 CTF FTW

        • T-Moze

          I love you Paula. Unlike the hater-of-all-ades (or should I say the bringer of all AIDS), I haven't been Chiving long enough to know why people hate you. So all I see is their hate along with your cleverness. Eff them, Paula you keep on rockin out w/ your c0ck out.

        • mikey

          The red flag means you have to change your roach motel…reach down, lift the flab out of the way remove the old hotel, insert new one…you should change your panties as well

    • YupYupYup

      I have never used you for anything; but if you would shave your nether cheeks, we might work out a compromise…

    • panama99

      Paulina,
      I always vote in the Positive for you because that way your reputation score will drop. Currently it is a negative number and I assume that you like it. So if others would do the same thing maybe you would stay away for a while or you would make more comments and I could vote more often for you and drop your rating back to zero.

      Hugs
      (always voting the opposite of your reputation score)

      Panama99

  • Gwintro

    #25 i'd suck a fart out of her ass and hold it like a bong hit

    • 4xaClown

      As gross as that sounds, I couldn't stop laughing after reading it

    • hoosker

      no coughing aloud.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

        Is coughing quietly okay?

        • iTh

          Only if your face is not still between her butt cheeks

    • iTh

      I dont know why you got thumbed down so much… That shit was funny!

  • DNA

    #34 Is very stunning…

  • Timm

    Haterade is probably Paula's husband. Trolls!

    • Paula_

      No, it's what I aborted after having sex with a baboon months earlier. Somehow it managed to survive and learned to type…

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the MOAT

  • jetrome

    #25 #37 For being an unlucky day, this tush has certainly turned it around for me. Ahem… MOAR!

    • http://www.facebook.com/whitney.southworth whitneysouth

      Just had to say… How great are the scroll-over-to-enlarge thumbnails?

      Fucking great.

      • jetrome

        Hell yeah. small tush becomes bigger tush. Can't really go wrong. *high five*

      • Vagina Jones

        What kinda fucked up quiz was that?

        You have to insert a pause, so we can guess!

        • http://www.facebook.com/whitney.southworth whitneysouth

          An easy quiz.
          Who complains about an easy quiz?

          • Vagina Jones

            I just wanted to make the Mitch Hedberg reference. 😉

    • Tigers Wood

      #37 MOAR MOAR MOAR!

  • KeyserSoze

    FINALLY!!! I know it's not late, i was just getting antsy…. Thanks.

  • VedHead77

    #18 – Zillow, Realtor.com….FUCK! Where is this place??

    • tcbb789789

      I know, I LOVE Redheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • gtmaestro
    • aosux

      You take the 60 south to toward Hell and it's exit 13

    • Larry

      This is in Annapolis. I've driven by here hundreds of times, and only noticed this stupid sign recently. Meant to take a picture & send it in. It's off of Route 2 (Solomons Island Road), south of Aris T Allen / Route 50. Type in 2600 Solomons Island Road, Maryland into Google Maps. Go to street view and navigate to the intersection of Tarragon Lane and Solomons Island Road. Pan around the intersection and you'll see this sign.

      • McRo

        If you lived here, you would know it's in Edgewater, not Annapolis. Gingerville.org

        • BigE

          Technically it is Annapolis. It is not Edgewater until you go over the bridge.

        • Larry

          You're right. Obviously I made a random guess and completely made that up. Because people never use Annapolis to describe the surrounding areas (Edgewater / Riva / etc.), particularly given that while the commenters here *might* have heard of Annapolis, they almost certainly would not have heard of Edgewater. Moron.

    • Glenn_Coco

      I want to go to there.

    • Scooter
    • http://www.facebook.com/james.reuss Jim Reuss

      big E is correct. i've driven by it a hundred times and never thought to send it in. thats awesome tho. the people that live in that house have dirt bike track set up around it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sumer-Gill/1430738200 Sumer Gill

    DAR in HQ =AWSOME!!!!

    + #15 FTW

    • KyleGamgee

      Yeah, that second picture makes me feel things.

    • Surf and Snow

      Hairy armpit stuble in HQ is the opposite of awesome.

      • ranD

        i had to STARE and SEARCH to see this. so if THATS what you noticed…. i have news for you….

      • its_forge

        OMG you mean she's human?? Holy shit how the fuck did that happen??!!

  • VedHead77

    #16 – Don't make too many of these, Chive. You'll ruin my rep.

  • Poontangler

    #11 – Buster is not to be trifled with.

    • the_junglist

      I now have a goal in life.

    • Sean

      Lloyd Bridges??? lol

    • Maynard B.

      Sir, you don't look a day over 80.

      • thing

        that would have been better if you said he didn't look a day over 99… but nice try.

  • lando

    That was a fantastic DAR. I need a cigarette
    #37

  • busted

    Bet Buster chives.

    • RGTEH

      hell no. buster's a badass. people like daniel tosh, chive.

  • BobSugar

    #32 cOrnhOle is the greatest summer game period.

    • Admiral Ackbar

      Agreed!

    • AbedNadir

      We need a chart similar to the Pop/Soda/Coke pic. I call it "Bags" as I'm sure many others do.

    • Bob

      We call it Bean Bags.

    • plop

      i was thinking female beach volleyball, but ok, corn hole (bean bags) is fun.

    • RectalGlaucoma

      Summer game or bedroom game?
      Those poor naive folks in the South had no idea what they were doing when they named this game.

      • BobSugar

        If I may… I believe it is because there are corn kernels in the bags, and these bags are thrown into holes.

        We like to call it bags around here, but we know it's true name is cornhole.

        • LeroyJenkins

          you sir are correct.

          • BobSugar

            God, I love your name. Needs one more "E," but it's still awesome.

    • hMMMM

      Just wondering…how much did your sales increase after this post?

  • Joshua D. Loomis

    After many submissions, I am happy to have finally made a DAR! #12. I call it pop, personally.

    • Nina

      I don't think I've ever heard anyone refer to soda as pop. Guess I haven't been in the country long enough yet.. 🙂

    • llano2

      Called is soda, and soda pop when young. Now everyone here calls it coke.

    • KyleGamgee

      "Soda" here in California.

      • Vagina Jones

        The map said you would say that.

    • Anon

      I wonder why the south calls it coke… do they call pepsi coke? How about barqs? Fanta?

      Anyway… pop it is.

      • They're all mixers

        I'm an Englishman who moved to Texas. They call all of it coke. At least some people do. Sometimes.

        • ROK247

          i call it stuff they put in the rum

      • twpaige

        yeah it's coke down here in Texas. With barqs or a&w I just call it root beer instead of using coke.

      • Jimmy

        Yep here in Texas it goes like this:
        "Want a Coke?"
        "Sure"
        "What kind?"
        "I'll take a Pepsi"
        "Ok"

        • Trent

          That is retarded.

        • Rob

          Yeah that just means the entire state of TX is sucking on Coke's metaphorical cock for global dominance.

      • BaseballRube

        Re: #12
        Coca-Cola (sometimes referred in the short-hand as Coke) in HQ'd is Atlanta. Thus many in GA and spreading from there use the term Coke for soda pop.

        My question is: what other then soda, pop and coke is there? (I did see fiz, but that is just strange.) Full disclosure, I am from and in MN.

        • AbedNadir

          Also fro Minny. Pop for sure. Unless you find some hipster in Uptown who tries to be cute and calls it something else.

        • Reymont

          'Cola' is usually the fourth option, followed by 'soda-pop.' I've never heard 'fizz' used, though – that's a new one.

        • Chris Chandler

          I'm trying to change Minnesota to a "soda" state. It's a daily fight, but I endeavor to persevere.

      • Jackass

        As the other poster said, 'Coke' short for Coca-Cola, in Florida people use coke and soda interchangeably.

        'Pop' is completely foreign down here, and sounds like you either have a Boston accent or you're from the 50's.

      • soday'all

        i'm from CA, relocated to TX- everyone here calls all soda "dr. pepper."
        as in,
        "hi, can I have a dr. pepper?"
        "yes what would you like?"
        "coke, please"

      • Rosie

        I'm from Arkansas. We call it coke no matter what. If you are at a restaurant and ordering, you say what you want specifically, but other than that, it's a coke. Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, etc… they're all cokes. I personally think it is because Coca-Cola was invented in the South.

    • the_junglist

      Grew up calling it all coke….all of it. "Get me a Coke"…"What kind?" Now I travel enough that I call it soda. I thought pop was north, coke was south, and soda was universal, but I guess not. Cool

    • mak

      It's called Soda in New England

      • Guest

        The old-timers around Boston call it "tonic."

        • its_forge

          Me Grampa was from Quincy and called it "phosphate," except with the Boston accent it was "phos-fet."

    • aleXTC

      Soda in AZ

    • TiminPhx

      Congrats and thanks. It's going to be my background for a few days.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Taylor-Blissett/1764864971 Taylor Blissett

      SHIT ALASKA, make up your mind!!!

    • T-Moze

      Other than Coke, can you name a product that is referred to by the brand name for all brands? (e.g. Clorox instead of chlorine bleach, Windex instead of glass cleaner, etc.)

      • Rosie

        Kleenex, Q-tip

    • KD Buchanan

      In Texas and much of the south you ask for coke and will get Coca-Cola. If you want Pepsi, you first ask if they even carry Pepsi (but who wants to drink that swill). And in Texas you can always ask for a Dr. Pepper (born in Waco, TX).

      • Mugatu

        Lived in Tx all my life… never understood the whole coke for everything stereotype since it doesn't happen. You ask for what you want: Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Dublin Dr. Pepper if you're lucky, etc.

    • Tedskin

      I work in a convenience store in NC. Every one says "pop" The people who dont are almost always from out of town.

  • Surf and Snow

    #15 sexy, but please shave your pits next time.

    • Anon

      *editor's note*

      sexy, but please show your tits next time

    • Don_Aguelo

      Oh thank God!

      I had the moral need to say that but I feared the wrath of my fellow Chivers for not concentrating on what really matters (tits)

      I just can't ignore them hair dots.

      Sorry

    • Bruce

      Really? THAT's what you notice in that picture? That's just sad.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

        Not really. It takes less than ten seconds to run a razor over your pits in the shower, so she either doesn't ever shave unless she's *really* showing off (which one would think that posing, editing, dressing up and posting for millions of viewers would call for) or she hadn't showered lately. The only excusable time for lady body-hair is during and extended camping trip.

        • Like a Womans Scorn

          No, its never excusable! Camping? Better, figure that shit out some how.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/HellHath-NoFury/100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

            For Sega. But yeah, I've washed in the Skokomish freezing ass river just to get the femfuzz off of me so bears wouldn't get all excited.

  • Admiral Ackbar

    #37 Nice Finish!

    • kornerr

      It's a trap !!!!

      (sorry, couldn't keep myself)

    • Dylan

      I swear it's not a trap … just come a bit closer.. 😉

      • Blumpkin

        OK!!!

      • Admiral Ackbar

        Been eating some cheeseburgers I see!

    • YupYupYup

      if that is where YOU finish, then I have bad news for you…

    • its_forge

      Actually she's from Sweden GUFFAW

  • jason

    #19 she's hired.

    • tcbb789789

      Reminds me of the pictures they use for blow-up-dolls.

    • I am

      anna kournikova ftw

    • Bronx

      What to put your pinky into? Better do better than that with those dick skinners.

    • shwan

      From now on ladies this is the face you submit to the chive, no more fuckin duck faces.

  • Allen

    DAR in HQ = AWESOME oh….and #37 FTW

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