Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    ABSOLUTELY FIRRRRSSTTT and sooo much faster than most shitheads here.

    Anyway; let's settle the battle between the Chive and Reddit in a Google Fight:
    http://bit.ly/ld2weB

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – BTW: 'paula' kicks the ass of 'chuck'!! Eat your heart out mr. Norris!

    • ah huh

      And the winner is Reddit. B)

    • gofistyourself

      welp… nice knowin ya

    • Ban Paula!!!

      Damn,when is Paula gonna be banned??!! So tired of "it's" shit!!

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        [Queue 'Mission impossible' theme]

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – Dun Dun Duuuuun… Dun Dun Duuuuun… Dun Dun Duuuuun… DunDun

        • Gstr

          Are you a guy?

          • steve

            mac the intern getting stale

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              Mac is always looking so serious no? Creeps me out. To me he looks like someone who is dead calm at the surface and then slaughters you in your sleep.

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – Dun Dun Duuuuun… Dun Dun Duuuuun… Dun Dun Duuuuun… DunDun

        • Shawn

          Marry me Paula.

    • http://www.facebook.com/robinis Robertas Klemanskis

      Wow.. nice life achievements. Lolz.. Just sad 😀

    • Coldzilla

      FINALLY!

      Something to put on the résumé

  • believeinJHA

    #17 Aphex Twin is spawning

    • believeinJHA

      #16 chive don't be switchin on me fooo

    • equalizermax

      #3 – I'm here to save the Internet

  • Just Sayin'

    #5 The hulk had a difficult childhood…

    • Phox

      swing and a miss

      • Just Sayin'

        damn it, meant #4 😦

    • duh

      meanwhile, these kids look like they're having a great childhood!

    • Ryan

      I have seen this pic on the chive at least 10 times.

  • James

    #4 holy shit. that is farked up!

  • DCMOFO

    #4
    I bet this guy gets good use out of the buy 3 get one free bra sales

    • Notachiver

      He must be one of u chivers.

      • 123456

        if you're not a chiver, why do you fucking comment

        • Foosbah.

          'cause you can comment on a website without being a recurring member. i know, i just found that out yesterday. doesn't that just blow your mind??

  • Facepuncher

    #4, #20 Titception.

  • whatislove

    so i guess those are only good if you bone them yourself

    dont act like youve never tried it

    #12

    • Biily Bob

      Well now I have toooooooo…………

    • ezhammer

      wait….what???

  • word up

    #6
    That is fucking amazing!!!

    • xen

      Don't talk about it!

    • BigHate

      Neat? Maybe….. Amazing? Not really

      • V4Vendetta14

        I didn't realize that was possible… so yes amazing…

        • http://www.facebook.com/mrabot Marla Belle Rabot

          I don't get it =/

          • Monk

            If you tilt your monitor back, there is a message written on the screen. I can't talk about it though.

  • GM3

    #19
    Boobies make everything so much better.
    -Chive On from overseas

    • Anon

      not cancer…

      • Conor

        Challenge accepted.

        God damn it, why cant i use those new Emoticans on theChive and only on memebase 😦

        • Malkintosh22

          I guess you could say "emoticants"

  • Anon

    #18 is quite common in Japan… they kinda weirded me out while i was there……..

    • Chiveinator

      too early
      it took me over ten minutes to notice anything out of the ordinary
      must get more coffee…

    • Chiveroni

      It makes a lot of sense, honestly, using drinkable water to flush the toilet is a huge fucking waste.

      • hMMMM

        just b/c that faucet looks like it may be a drinking fountain doesn't necessarily mean that drinking water flows from it…the Asians (if it is indeed over there) are a little too smart to do some dumb shit like this.

        • PoppinFresh

          You're retarded, dude. It IS common in Japan. and that ISN'T drinking water, it's clean water for washing your hands after pooping, the drained water from washing the hands is then used to refill the tank. You don't drink it.

        • TitoRigatoni

          Reading Comprehension Fail.

    • Pllll

      And, no bath/shower in the same room as the toilet.

      • ThatGuy

        not awesome.

  • Bon Rugandy

    #2 not awesome, smoking around children is bad for them

    • urDad

      Please donate for them ,they need a new car coz this one is totally not safe for him. Hope this is whiny enough for the chivers to empty their wallets. Dont stop donating till u give him enough to buy a ferrari.

      • u r a troll

        FAIL , u r obviously an Impostor ,am sure they can see the IP address bud. Wanna go to jail ?

        • Matt

          The report button doesn't seem to be working, we need to get him out of here!

          • Jen

            damnit, whatd he say!?!?!

            • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

              I want to know too!!! Damn…

              • JCT

                Me too!!

    • Whatevs

      So is Coca Cola but you don't see anyone banning it.

  • The Bandit

    #12 …happy they finally managed to do that, but the price system seems a little confusing. 89 cents for a whole bunch, but 50 cent each??

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=669440656 Steve Shaw

    Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadian Chivers! Chive on!

    • https://twitter.com/NavjeetBajwa n_kb

      Yay!! Turned 144! Happy Canada Day!

      • panama99

        Happy CD!!

        John (The Chive) should have given you a post of barely dressed women to celebrate!!

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      What has Canada have to celebrate then? Bloody chauvinists.

      The only good things from Canada are John Candy (RIP) and Steve Martin anyway.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

      • Tank Kruger

        Neil Young

        • Jen

          why would we do that? its almost july fourth? we need a post of naked chicks covered in patriotic body paint and/or bathing suits.

          • Ruffestneckaround

            What's wrong with 2 posts in 4 days? There's a joke about beavers and eagles somewhere around here, let me find it…

    • hheippq

      Is this the day that England gave you your country?

      Congratulations (and give thanks to England)

    • Chris

      Happy Canada Day, Canadians! From your friends in the UK.

      • Chris

        *Happy Belated Canada Day! (Better late than never?)

  • LarsfromNorway

    #6 awesome poster for an awesome movie!

    • huh

      which movie ?

      • geez

        i see what your doing there

    • jethro

      Why would I tilt my screen back when I can already read it just fine?

  • MigraineBoy

    #1 had the entire office laughing.

    • amrith777

      Christopher Walken–FTW! That is all.

    • Dewd

      now the song is stuck on my head, damn yu!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Alec

    you know what? I like daily morning awesomeness because it reminds me of the older chive, a lot of laughs

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Oh hell, is Reddit using subliminal advertising on the Chive now?

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

    • Lotus

      I was just about to say how much more I enjoy the Morning Awesomeness over the Afternoon Randomness lately. Much more funny and much less filler.

  • Chiveinator

    #3
    if video games were real.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      I was always wondering how the Quake character managed to carry an RPG with 50 (!!) rockets, grenade launcher, machine gun, plasma rifle, BFG etc., all with lots of ammo, without a small truck following him.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – Q2DM1 FTW

      • Chiveinator

        Paula you will always be my favourite BFT just like the Redeemer was my favourite Quake weapon

        :*

        Chiveinator the one you love to Quake

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          That's so Unreal (T)!

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – still not falling for it

      • zachinacubicle

        You think with all this firepower he would some how not look like a geek…. wait nevermind.

      • sanforce

        Ohh shit, Q2DM1 was the bomb. I'd love to play that map again.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    And I got to tell you that you doing fine, #1

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • snoobs89

      you've been busy this morning paula. Taken up my entire Intense debate Account page..

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Yeah AND robbed your fridge, go figure.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – next time no more light beer, just regular beer, OK?

  • toby

    Lame ,just like the ugly chivette.

  • DCBizzle

    #11 awesome

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Hey it's Six Feet Under headrubbing guy!

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one who loves six feet under

      • amrith777

        Six Feet Under one of the best shows EVER! I said the exact same thing when I first saw Rainn on "The Offie" "Oh hey–ain't that the guy from Six Feet Under"?
        I miss that show…..

  • Matt

    Pissed drunk, on the day before the Canada day long weekend, listening to covers of The Bauhaus' Bela Lugosi is Dead on YouTube at 3 am, gettin' my Chive on. Life is good, beeyotches!

    • erssd

      Cool story, eh.

  • snoobs89

    #9 Can somebody please Explain to me why this is chive worthy?

    • Chiveroni

      It's a really slow gif, wait for her to pull the Osama's head out of the fridge and feed the cat.

      • panama99

        Ok…..how many of you went back to it for just a quick look?

        Raise your hands……

  • Chiveinator

    thats what your …grrrr……
    aah… must…aaah .. .must resist …mmm..
    … obvious mom joke is obvious ….mm…
    …must not give in to temptation…:@

  • saucypants

    #11 So Dwight was T-1000 all along?

  • bbqboobs

    #3 That's what a guy on Modern Warfare would look like in real life.

    • Phox

      that's why you can only run for about 5 seconds before you get tired.

    • TomTheCameraGuy

      It's only missing a dude respawning behind him to shoot him in the back…

    • DCBizzle

      Fucking tubers.

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