Yer doin it wrong (30 photos)

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  • xDV8x

    #30….. I don't know what to say, except I'm glad my kids are out of diapers

    • Protip

      Protip: If you don't know what to say, don't say anything.

      • xDV8x

        Yeah, thanks for the "protip"

        • Protip

          Anything I can do to help you be less of a waste of space.

      • xDV8x

        Anyone who starts a reply with "protip" should shampoo my crotch

        • Colin_

          Protip: Shampooing of his crotch is unadvised without the use of proper protection.

          • xDV8x

            Thanks Colin. That was informative and helpful. I appreciate your protip. Not like the protip I got from someone cleverly named "Protip"

            • Protip

              Ah, douche on douche love. How cute!

              • _bigdeal

                "how cute" .. i think ill start using this fancy new phrase to show sarcasm!

    • daveh873

      This kid is out of diapers too. Doesn't seem to be making the situation better.

    • tanya

      exactaly why I don't want kids!!!

      • MAX-POW

        i am so agreeing with you

    • Troll of Truth

      Yeah, my 2 year old once changed her own poopy diaper but fortunately she isn't a complete retard and only made a little stain on her rug.

    • TAMZz

      WTF!! The bad thing is…….one of my kids did that already and um……yeah, it might as well have been spread all over my face….he's now 15 and surprisingly his room still smells like shit and musty young balls….go figure…(and no, I am not that mom who cleans her kids' rooms….they dwell there not me)

      • Dick Richardson

        bad mom.

        • Jay

          Good mom, double dick.

      • _bigdeal

        i hope this is fake. your gross to mention your 15 yr olds crotch

    • John

      Best damn condom ad I have ever seen. Makes me want to run out and get a V.

    • Shirleyewejest

      When my kids were in that stage where they wanted to remove their diapers, I dressed them in overalls — they can't get those off. Worked great. Except for the part where they looked like hillbillies. But at least they were shit-free hillbillies.

      • _bigdeal

        now thats a fucking protip.

      • Tim

        Am I the only one that has 2 kids, who both know it's gross and wrong to finger paint with your own shit?

  • Jack

    first!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      You're an ASSHOLE Jack… go play in traffic!

  • Sharky

    #1 Fail- that's from "The Spy Who Loved Me"

    • fed

      that's actually one of the most badass entrances ever… submarine lotus, hell yeah!

    • guy

      mind the 70's gap bottom left…win!

    • Avery

      "You're doing it right, James…"

    • THEQUEBEKER

      Actually that it's doing it right.

  • jjlib89

    #1 James Bond can do what he wants!

  • Deus Ex

    I'm assuming the "N" stands for "Ninja…"

    #17

    • Kyle

      Of course. What else could it possibly mean?

    • Shanye East

      A true Ninja has no need nor desire for such common courtesies.

    • acoustrix

      It means Canadian.

    • JamieVonSweet

      Actually it stands for 'naginata.'

  • http://twitter.com/dagleja3 @dagleja3

    #21 Butter Face

    • AmBush Steve

      She should be cooking it, not wearing it. What the hell's she doing out of the kitchen anyway?

    • A BiPolar Guy

      All ready for steak and a blow job day (google it)

    • zdrake13

      looks like kurt cobains autopsy

      • the_junglist

        I know I shouldn't laugh at that…..but……..nicely done.

  • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

    #1 is from a James Bond movie.

    #6 is an example of redundancy.

    • JHL1

      Your first sentence is also an example of redundancy.
      But we'll forgive you.

  • billshakes626

    #24 Nailed it.

    • Huzzah

      Mutton Bustin'!!!!

  • drew

    Here's hoping my children don't aspire to #30….

    • ????

      having a new chiver born any minute now (already one week late) and really hope that it does not ever do this.

      • Enon

        If you continue referring to your child as "it" – he/she will most definitely do exactly this.

        • Mike

          The child will most definitely do this because he/she is a kid. Although calling your kid "it" is not a good idea.

  • fat mike

    MERIKA…. your doin it wrong

    • Pedantic

      Yes, my doin it wrong.
      Grammar: You're doing it wrong.

  • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

    #11 begs for a beatdown

    • Kanye

      Not sure this isn't a win…

  • Bobbing for Apples

    #15
    Needs a "Complete Idiots Guide To Parenting" book. What a loser!

  • http://man-lair.com Stafferty

    #25 Sesame Street has not been immune to the economic down turn.

    • HUH?

      must have been the katy perry episode

    • thom

      Anything for ratings I guess.

    • ronnie

      still better than all the other shows kids are watching these days

    • Capt Obvious

      Stupid…Obviously its the description of a movie/show on the DVR with Sesame Street playing on "Live TV" in the corner.

  • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

    I don't know, #26 seems to be doing SOMETHING right.

    • DrChimRichalds

      How to carry $147 like a boss.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000065552192 Seth Schueler

      this is how poker players carry their roll

      • thrillho

        I believe it's referred to as a "knot"

      • kyatty

        and drugs dealers . . . just sayin'.

  • Owen Smithers

    #6
    How about trying to get a private sector job that actually creates wealth rather than redistribute and drain it?

    • BMW

      Good call.

    • PooterTown

      Elect Obama?

    • mim

      Yeah, because putting 25% of the wealth in 1% of the population has turned so great in the past few years. I don't know if people like you are so dumb that they don't see the simple economics of kissing the butts of the corporations and bending over for them or are secretly hoping that one day they'll be so rich that they'll actually end up on the other side of the butt kissing. for morons like you, I can say this, once government money gets involved in saving private companies from bankruptcy, you no longer have a free economy or a free market. You have some sort of perverted pro-corporate form of reverse socialism.

      • Owen Smithers

        Wow, such anger! Take a breath. I don't think it's a good idea for government money (which is really the peoples' money) to be used to save private companies either. We need more free market capitalism, even with its problems, than we need any form of socialism. It's just not sustainable.

        • shaka

          The one problem that the bleeding heart liberals don't understand is that with socialism, sooner or later, you run out of other peoples money…….. look at your beloved Europe these days…

          • its_forge

            Europe for the most part is doing way better than the US.

      • its_forge

        That figure you're looking for is 95% of the wealth in the hands of 1% of the population by the way.

    • its_forge

      How about any job is better than no job, how about people having money to spend on stuff does stimulate economic growth although I agree with your point that it isn't sustainable, how about people working for the government are necessary in order for the government to fucking function. Personally I do still like knowing the steak I'm having for dinner tonight is not going to kill me because the FDA did its job and didn't have its funding ripped out by jackasses that wanted to give the money to some billionaire to put in an offshore tax-free bank account.

  • patov40

    #3 – Todd — Hard Core Pun…… Guess The Chive is guilty of doing it wrong sometimes.B)

  • pbdb
    • elay1300

      Nigga Please!…explained (-_-)

      • pbdb

        I accidentally typed in the wrong number lol

  • pbdb

    Sorry, can someone explain #18?

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      +1

      I repeat: "Eh?"

      • Guest

        Probably when they got hacked. A lot of personal data was released.

        • pbdb

          Oh, didn't hear they got hacked, thanks!

    • http://man-lair.com Stafferty

      You are supposed to grow page views over time, not lose 60% of them.

      • pbdb

        Right but why did they all of a sudden lose that many views?

    • richard

      i thought it was because of the layout change?

      • Rememo

        Yeah.. they changed the format of their website. It sucks balls. I used to visit every day and now I might visit once a month.

      • pbdb

        oh ok gotcha

  • Anonymous

    #30 ahhh crap…

  • The_Dood

    Punk?

  • kigero

    #22 after the Birmingham riot one of the places that was boarded up was super candys and, I wish I had a camera for this, spray painted on “keep calm and candy on”

  • konaehukai

    #5. And not a fuck was given that night. At least by any of the women there. D-bags.

    • CapnMFingPlanet

      When i see a douche wearing a tap out shirt, I have the overwhelming urge to knock the shit out of them just to see if they can actually take a hit. My lawyer says I should not do this anymore.

  • Grans

    #30. Sooo… You got wasted

  • laxcat36

    #30 should be the poster for an abstinence campaign.

    • Gross

      I would automatically throw up if I walked in and saw that. No kids for me…

    • http://thechive.com/ bkfrijoles

      one hell of a night

  • Jeremiah

    #7 I guess that's why they call it the overflow area..

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