A little inspiration goes a long way (27 Photos)

  • sheoncebelieved

    #4 tribute to all women

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Oh I thought it was "Spread your …" ah whatever.

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • BIll57

        save humanity paula keep your legs closed

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          OMG you have no dick go suck life, you are full of brainless shit, you have jealous I have no life, etc. etc.

          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • BIll57

            learn to speak proper english ya freeky deeky brainless twit

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      #22 so dear Albert, explain this:

      What if you're courting a nice girl while sitting on a red-hot cinder?

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • http://www.facebook.com/dden45 Danny Duerden

        That's like dividing by zero.

  • Siggy


    • Logan

      go try on Reddit, they are slow over there.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Agreed on the slow part.

        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • me2

      open your mind before you type

  • sheoncebelieved

    #12 Tribute to all men

    • Fasteddy14

      You may not have one, but you clearly are one…

    • Mike Moore

      Funny. I was about to say the same to all women . . .

  • Logan

    Paula this one's for you #4

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      You have NEVER heard me speak asshat!

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • Logan

        never said you were *speaking* 🙂

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Run Logan run!

          – so we can see….:

  • thomas

    #27 gave me chills

    • H.Manback

      I really recommend reading "Pale blue dot" written by Sagan… This book gave me chills a couple of time…

      • Hwap

        Fuck you asshole think you're so cool eh?


        • Brad

          Apparently not a lot of Tool fans around.

          • Caser

            I got it, though I think "fuck you, die, bastard, because you think you're so cool. Asshole." would be a bit more recognizable.

          • The Chivery

            No, but there are plenty of tools on this site.

            Chive on!

    • listenlady

      Me too. Makes you put things into perspective for sure.

    • @bunkerpunkk

      That is some heavy shit, I should've been high for this post.

  • Major_Rocker

    #5 Unfortunately I spend $28,800 at work :/

    • Master_Rahl

      yeah, this is a sad reminder of just how much I DON'T do with my day.

    • Tyler Durden

      True that! I could go for a "Retaliation to Hating My Job" post.

    • n1ghtstalker

      If I got $86,000 a day I could actually do something with my 86,000 seconds other than sitting here at work. As I don't I am stuck here earning money so I can afford to do something fun during the few hours free time I get at the weekend after the week of work! Telling me to do more with my 86k seconds of life per day is just tormenting my soul!
      I would fucking love to but that is not how life works!

      • douche

        its not that that is not how life works. Its that we have all agreed to live life this way.

        • n1ghtstalker

          The world has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
          That you were born into slavery, into a prison you cannot see or smell…a prison of the mind!

          • Dolfan0925

            I'm gonna go ahead and take the blue pill.

    • Justin

      you wouldnt have used the word unfortunately if you enjoyed your job
      make that change its worth the effort, youll get a lot of time back and isnt time our most vauluable and non renewable resource?

    • Tomas

      Yep… 28800 at work, 7200 driving back & forth to work, 28800 sleeping… leaving me with 21600. Of that I can deduct for cooking, eating, shitting, peeing, showering, cleaning, dressing, undressing, shopping… leaving me with about 10000 left… MAYBE… on a GOOD day.

      And if I had $10,000 a day to spend for a month I'd have a nice home fully paid off. Anyone out there offering that to me??? I didn't think so.

      ……. soooooooooo off I go to work every friggin' day.

      • Jen

        however, you could enjoy all of those seconds loving what you are doing, whether it is cooking, shitting, peeing, showering, dressing, etc. I, for one, love pinching a nice loaf. idk about you.

  • darwin

    #27 one of my favorite of all-time

  • http://Homes4Men.com Stafferty

    Men who do not make advances to women are apt to become victims to women who make advances to them. -Walter Bagehot

    A true man wants two things, danger and play. For this reason he wants a woman, as the most dangerous plaything. -Fredrich Nietzsche

  • Chuck Taylor

    #5 makes me not want to Chive any more today.

    • James

      congratulations. that's your first step to not being a self-aggrandizing net fapper who's willing to pay around $200 for a t-shirt.

      • A BiPolar Guy

        Chuck – why don't you work on that tomorrow

        James If that's what chuck is – what then, pray tell, are you?

  • KenRayJen

    #5 Perspective Man just knocked me on my ass

  • SockMoney17

    #17 Obama should have read this

    • guest

      Stop making this site political.

      • jason_in_pc

        go be a dick somewhere else guest

    • Tyler Durden

      You Sir, are an idiot! Simply because you believe that one man is the reason that this country is fucked up. Remove thy ass from thy head.

      • HUNK

        I agree with Sockmoney. But the same could be said of all politicians.

        • Just sayin

          With one exception: Ron Paul. Do yourself and the country a favor and vote for him.

          • Frank M

            Hell yes! Ron Paul was the only one that correctly foresaw the Housing collapse, the Financial Market bubble, our recession, the Fed destroying the dollar & Obama continuing Bush's 3rd term of undeclared wars, deficit spending, & the destruction of our constitutional liberties.

            Don't blow it this time around. Friggin' Vote!

    • Christian Lander

      Stuff White People Like # 18, Awareness

      An interesting fact about white people is that they firmly believe that all of the world’s problems can be solved through “awareness.” Meaning the process of making other people aware of problems, and then magically someone else like the government will fix it.

      This belief allows them to feel that sweet self-satisfaction without actually having to solve anything or face any difficult challenges. Because, the only challenge of raising awareness is people not being aware. In a worst case scenario, if you fail someone doesn’t know about the problem. End of story.

      What makes this even more appealing for white people is that you can raise “awareness” through expensive dinners, parties, marathons, selling t-shirts, fashion shows, concerts, eating at restaurants and bracelets. In other words, white people just have to keep doing stuff they like, EXCEPT now they can feel better about making a difference.

      Raising awareness is also awesome because once you raise awareness to an acceptable, aribtrary level, you can just back off and say “Bam! did my part. Now it’s your turn. Fix it.”

      So to summarize – you get all the benefits of helping (self satisfaction, telling other people) but no need for difficult decisions or the ensuing criticism (how do you criticize awareness?). Once again, white people find a way to score that sweet double victory.

      Popular things to be aware of: The Environment, Diseases like Cancer and AIDS, Africa, Poverty, Anorexia, Homophobia, Midde School Field Hockey/Lacrosse teams, Drug Rehab, and political prisoners.

      • Elvis1721

        You should substitute "Liberals" for "White People"… Makes more sense that way.

        • just sayin

          You could also substitute 'oprah' for 'white people'.

    • SockMoney17

      Guest, if you look it up, Benjamin Franklin was a politician and I made a comment on a political add. Tyler, sorry that somewhere along the way, you became misled and misguided. But thats OK…it teaches the rest of us clear thinking people how not to be.

  • AssClown

    #4 One can't put your penis in a woman's mind, you silly goose…

    • john

      i beg to differ.
      i've been ramming mine in women's heads for a while now.

    • Duvel

      Not sure if smart… or salacious.

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    Just gonna sit back & soak up a few of these.

  • ChiverBU

    #6 Change what you can't change?

    • aaa

      no….what you can't accept is not necessarily what you can't change, but what you can't change, accept.

      • Bubba

        accept what you can't accept! Universe is a circle…

        • A BiPolar Guy

          this can in some cases be circular but only if you are stubborn. Like a round-about in the street it's up to you to go get off before you go full circle

  • Dr. Hfuhruhurr

    Dear Chive, I like when you mix these posts in amongst the gaps, bewbs and nipples, thanks.

    • Bluebury

      Agreed- These really make my day!

      Nice post, John!

  • junior

    Excellent post….now go do something with your day

    • http://www.last.fm/user/mutiilator Brand_n

      What about the majority of us that are killing time on theChive at work?

      • JPV310


  • John Mc

    #27 = Awesomeness

  • HUH?

    dont sweat the petty stuff, and dont pet the sweaty stuff……………..

    • Master_Rahl

      George Carlin, a wise man

  • Tillman

    "While life can stressful and strewn with bumps,
    Remember it's Wednesday, and soon there'll be Humps."


  • JoeyJoJoJr.Shabadoo

    Ooh, a post that is like an index of what Facebook fucktards put at their statuses every morning……bravo.

    Back to tits-'n-ass, please.

  • Ron Burgundy?

    I can't wait to post all these quotes on my Facebook account so my friends will think I'm insighful.

  • greasdupdeafguy

    #8 people who can't read would not be happy

    • Master_Rahl

      screw words, there are always picture books.

    • JPV310

      I would think a blind person would be less happy than an illiterate person; if the moon, and flowers are equaL to books

      • greasdupdeafguy

        the blind person has no clue what the moon or flowers look like, why would they give a shit?

        • A BiPolar Guy

          the quote does not say any of these things are necessary for happiness, only that having them all, who would not be?. Someone might be perfectly happy with none of them

  • Dan

    #9 I think I've seen this in every pub I've ever visited. And it's true!

    • Fasteddy14

      Funny, I've been to a lot of pubs, and even a few dozen of them in Ireland. I have never seen that sign…

  • laxcat36

    You forgot: "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." – George W. Bush

    • JDB

      And: "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." – George W. Bush

    • listenlady

      LOL Good old Dubya.

  • fredwest

    im here now!!!!:x

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