Daily Afternoon Randomness in HQ (46 Photos)

  • https://www.facebook.com/cstory80 Chris Story

    #1 is either in Napili or Kapalua on Maui.

    I love those places and I wish I could be there right now visiting the fam. 😦

    • Jamie

      You are CORRECT! Napili Bay. Thats me!!! We were there from the 11th till 23rd….Great Time!! Back in cold windy seattle now!!

      • vitobonespur

        Did you have breakfast at the Gazebo? Great place.

    • SpacemanSpiff_

      i think u failed to notice the beached whale on the right hand side

    • Jman

      cool story bro…get it?

      • Jamie

        Whale ?? WTF ??? How about a 8 y/o kid getting owned by that wave!

    • ink-man

      Napili FTW!!!!!

    • JerzMan

      Secret Beach, just north of Po'olenalena Beach on Maui.

      • jamie

        Nope !! Napili Bay. Public beach and really crowded. Not private at all

  • mad hatter

    wow an early DAR!
    …and first πŸ˜›

    • boobs
    • An Office Manager

      Often times I like to masturbate to the Chivettes, then smear the jizz on my hairy chest while moaning "Chive onnnn! Ughhhhhh…"(because that's what a REAL Chiver does). Then when I'm done, I like to thinly smear my cum on my employee's keyboards, let it dry, then laugh at the fact they don't know they're touching my spunk. Chive on.

  • phillip

    #38

    I've been out of school for nearly a decade and I need a tutor like 5-10 times/week. Can I call for rates?

    • nywolf

      tutor for what exactly is this? πŸ˜›

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Unrelated question: if you don't pay the hooker, is that considered rape or theft?

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

      • Stan_Dalone

        that's not even an original joke, you still can't come up with anything on your own you even have to resort to having others help you cause you can't handle being trolled on your own

        • FuckoffStan

          See the rest of the human population would realize that isnt a joke but just a query – but then again after reading the rest of your rant "cause you can't handle being trolled on your own" which makes absolutely no sense what so ever, Im not surprised

          Once a hypocritical troll dumbass, always a hypocritical dumbass

          • Stan_Dalone

            and as for you FOS in your case FOS stands for full of shit cause you are. Go home and hump your mother's leg ya simple fuckin moron

            • Sleep_Salone

              A mom joke – – – yeah, nothing simple 'bout that.

            • FuckoffStan

              Hey didnt you just confess a little while ago that both your parents were dead and how comments like that were in bad taste and now youre making the?

              Wow your hypocrisy knows no bounds does it Sleeps_Alone?

              And you calling me simple – thats FUCKIN HILARIOUS! If I ever get to the point when Im more simple than you I hope someone shoots me in the fuckin head. Wouldnt do much good tho cause to be more simple than you Id have to be brain dead

          • Stan_Dalone

            takes a severe asshole to know an asshole

            • FuckoffStan

              LOL you just admitted that youre an asshole dumbass!

              What a fuckin moron!

              Oh but wait? I thought you werent going to respond to me anymore Stanley? Remember the other day when you said it was going to the be the last response to "you diatribe"?

              Just fucking clueless

        • Brother M.

          Stan, shut up.

          • Stan_Dalone

            fuck off BM

            • 940

              stop thumbing your own comments up, you fuckwit!

              • Stan_Dalone

                teach me how to thumb myself up and i will be glad to do it. Oh and btw there are no rules about it so figure it out and let me know

                • Stan is ALONE

                  You've posted more than 2,000 comments in 4 weeks, fuck off.

                  • Stan_Dalone

                    you don't like that? tough shit. go home jerk off cause you aren't worth a damn here

                    • Stan is ALONE

                      Cos this is a website , kid. You don't mean shit anywhere.

                    • Stan_Dalone

                      read your own words asswipe you don't mean shit here or anywhere

                • FuckoffStan

                  Hey Stanley – did ya notice that Paulas getting thumbs up these days while youre getting the thumbs down?

                  Ah but yes, its just her "minions" isnt it Sleeps_Alone?

                  Wow youre pathetic

                  • Stan_Dalone

                    sure that explains why I am now at 104 when she is at -107 whoopie shit

                    • FuckoffStan

                      LOL man just when I thought you couldnt get any stupider. You get a certain amount of points just for posting and since you comment on every fucking picture every day of course your score is going to go up. Jake for example JROC – http://intensedebate.com/people/Nillows – 173 comment and a rating of 122! Thats how much of an idiot and an asshole you are numbnuts

                • FuckoffStan

                  2,416 comments in 4 weeks? When do you find time to pull yur weiner?

                  And think about iot 2,416 comments and youre only @ 104p? Thats a shitload of thumbs down Dumbass

                  • Stan_Dalone

                    don't like it kiss my ass. I don't care what you think dumbass

                    • FuckoffStan

                      Sorry dont think my lips are fat enough lardass.

                    • Stan_Dalone

                      your lips are twice the size of your head which is larger than any hippo's ass

                    • FuckoffStan

                      Is this your attempt at a comeback Dumbass? Sersiously this is grade 4 shit LMFAO

                      Fucking moron

            • Jpadawan

              Trollers like u make me feel good 2 know that someone will always be lower on the food chain, you poor person, living in your mom's basement w/ your imaginary World Of Warcraft friends. > BTW GO #$%@ YOURSELF >B)

              • Stan_Dalone

                Jpadawan go home and keep in touch with yourself that's what you are best at

            • Dick Salad

              This is clearly a SAIL BOAT!

              • Sleep_Salone

                Well done Dick.

        • JROC

          watch out for stan, he's a dick

          • Stan_Dalone

            I absolutely love pissing you off and the rest of her shithole minions

            • FuckoffStan

              Sorry no – consensus is now that youre a dick.

              And not ever a big one πŸ˜‰

      • Black6dog

        And for sweet sweet Paula, it's called illegal, now go get back to work bottom bitch

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Illegal? Not over here πŸ™‚

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – how about group discounts?

    • ROK247

      this is a great idea – we'll put "tutoring" on the invoice! totally legal then…

      • Rahm Emanuel

        and she can report it as taxable income so she won't get busted for tax evasion…it's a win-win for everyone!

        • Jman

          does anybody else wonder if that is really rahm emanuel? I only do because its so random that maybe it is him. if it was it probably would have had a lot more "mother fuckers" in it.

          • Rahm Emanuel

            I save those for my fucking retarded brothers, and those fucking idiot republicans…Gotta run a city…

            • AFKA Rahm

              Definitely not the real Rahm Emanuel because I used that handle a long time ago and this guy/gal has since picked it up.

              • Rahm Emanuel

                You are fucking retarded…

    • Hunter X

      Need tutor for Sex Ed. I'm not taking the class. Just like the subject. A lot. Willing to barter for massage lessons.

    • JWR

      I hope she goes to my school…………

    • tico

      why just one shoe?

    • Joseph Momma

      I, too, need a tutor. I'm not gooder at English. Or whatever it is you do.

    • Ramrod

      I could use some help with human anatomy.

    • Bri Guy

      How are you at Macroeconomics? I'm falling waay behind. Oh don't worry I use condoms.

      • -392

        yeah, i'll bet it's real difficult to find condoms for micro-penises.

    • Black6dog

      #38 You don't happen to go to the Colorado School of Mines do you???

      • Sinc3riT

        My god if she goes to Mines everything I ever knew about our school will be turned upside down.

    • Radam3

      you took the words right out of my mouth philip.

      If this option is available, I am sure i could use to learn a few things yet

      #38

    • Brother M.

      she's got a jacked-up face.

      • Stan_Dalone

        and you are not to talk you hideous bastard

    • An Office Manager

      Often times I like to masturbate to the Chivettes, then smear the jizz on my hairy chest while moaning "Chive onnnn! Ughhhhhh…"(because that's what a REAL Chiver does). Then when I'm done, I like to thinly smear my cum on my employee's keyboards, let it dry, then laugh at the fact they don't know they're touching my spunk. Chive on.

      • An Office Employee

        I was wondering why my keyboard constantly sticks…. ass.

      • An Office CEO

        You're fired.

        • CEO's Daughter

          No, daddy! I love him!

  • milhouse

    #18 I've never wanted to be a horse so bad.

    • John

      Lord knows I have.

      • uberbrie

        read this and lost my shit. The entire office is looking at me…oops

    • iambigd42

      This pic made my day. Just f-n awesome!

    • Jak

      I became lightheaded looking at those ass'

    • rollover

      #13 Dogs love hunting pussy

      • k-9

        every dog has his day.

    • letterj

      No details on the models themselves, but this is from the Miss Reef 2012 calendar book. More here: http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showpost.php?s=1343d

      • Joao-BR

        thanks for that precious info! who are those girls is that even possible?

    • k-9

      this is what happens when you are hung like a horse.

    • Faelos

      I swear I didn't even notice the horse until I saw your post.

      • Captnjack

        I was going to post the exact same thing haha. Something else had my attention there..

        • Jen

          you two must have some huge penises.

    • Kris

      I'm a horse where it counts.

      • Foosbah

        in the face? you and Dylan should get together.

    • Malkintosh22

      I'm a horse where it counts.

      The feet. Obviously the feet. I hate horseshoes..

    • polychonopolous

      I couldnt say that thought hasnt crossed my mind

  • dennis

    #5

    that is a full underboob

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Image search Norma Stitz with safe search off: the third pic is a better one of this session πŸ™‚

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

      • Jack

        You rule! Be back in 5…

      • Stan_Dalone

        you are an idiot nobody gets fooled by that anymore

        • FuckoffStan

          Youre calling someone an idiot??????

          LMFAO

          Hilarious!

          • JROC

            hey have me met stan? he's a dick

            • Guestyyouareanasshat

              you haven't met me yet asswipe but you will not to worry

              • hMMMM

                hMMMM, so Stan…I'm guessing you're the weakass Guesty troll? You forgot to change your name back…

                • -09-0

                  Yep. I was wondering how someone like that Guesty troll could be so damn bad at trolling, but it being Stan_Dalone, it makes perfect sense.

    • DemonIAm

      oh my, my, my!

    • MAX_POW

      I don't know who you are, but i definitely know that we need to see way more than an under boob…..please?

    • DeflaterMouse

      MOAR!!!

  • dude

    #40 #41
    I go to high school and I ride my bike there everyday, and I think I'm the only kid who actually wears his helmet…this is why.

    • Steamboat Willie

      When I was young the only people who wore helmets were the kids that licked the windows on the short bus.

      • jamesjackson4

        Jesus Christ. These people are gonna be making policy one of these days.

        • Steamboat Willie

          One of these days? They have been making the policy for decades.

        • Jak

          You must have been living under a rock.

    • Rahm Emanuel

      I am Generation X so we didn't wear no stinkin' helmets, oh and we got trophies for WINNING not participating and losing every game even though they "don't" keep score…Now I have to go an plunder the world and watch dirty hippies protest that I work too hard…No one likes dirty hippies, crap no one likes hippies!

      • Dick Asslick

        Yeah! And keep trash talk on the field!

    • NebraskaGuy

      Wearing a helmet when you ride is important – don't listen to those who tell you otherwise.

      Also, don't listen to what Steamboat Willie said, because he's apparently more concerned with looking cool than being smart. What he really means is, "When I was young, the only people who licked the windows where those who DIDN'T wear their helmet and now have brain damage and now ride the short bus.

      Choice is yours πŸ™‚

      • jamesjackson4

        You finish with "choice is yours" NebraskaGuy. The whole point of my statement is that these people will inevitably legislate or administrate that "choice" away.

        • Cedar

          Right because, either of the people in the pictures ever mention legislating anything. While it's a risk to not use a helmet, it is not a matter for law where Hannah fell, and nor should it be. Also neither of the people suggested that it should be a law in any way, they just suggest that it's better if you are using one when you fall, which it is.

      • Steamboat Willie

        You know what you're right we should all wear helmets around the clock because you never know when something is going to smash you in the head. I mean I could be getting out of bed one morning trip over something and crack my head open on my dresser, while I'm at it I'm going to trade in my car for an armored Humvee because I have to drive through a bad area of town to get to work and I really don't want to get shot.

        • DumbassWillie

          WTF?
          Now you're just being stupid!

          The point everyone is trying to make here (dumbass) is not to wear a helmet around the clock (although as stupid as you appear to be, I recommend that YOU do), but to wear a helmet when engaged in an activity that could potentially cause harm, such as riding a bicycle. That's why they make helmets to wear when riding bicycles/motorcycles.

          For you though, I suggest they make one EXTRA special, just for you! It would be bright yellow (like the short bus you obviously ride) with caution tape stuck all over it. You can wear it 'round the clock because daaamn, you just might hit your head getting out of bed!

          Here's something to think about: Those who condemn the use of, or refuse to wear a helmet themselves are usually candidates for natural selection. Because if you're so fucking stupid that you don't have the common sense to wear a helmet when you should, then you really don't have any brains you should be concerned with protecting in the first place!

          So go ahead and NOT wear a helmet, Steamboat Dumbass … take yourself OUT of the gene pool!

          • Steamboat Willie

            Nice, straight to name calling… true signs of a strong argument and brilliant mind. Also DumbassWillie, dumbass, and Steamboat Dumbass are really lacking in creativity so I'm only going to give to 2 out of 5 stars, but keep in mind that you would have received one star just because I'm a nice guy and the second one is for effort, even the small amount you managed to muster up.

            And I will take myself out of the gene pool right after you make the world a better place and punch out like Hemingway.

            • Chiver In Bio

              Never give up the thrill of living for the safety of existence. The only purpose the helmet serves is for those that are planning to fail. Why do skydivers wear helmets? Makes it easier to identify the body!

      • j22

        The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.

  • Almoney13

    #11 As do I…

    • Jak

      They are equipped with BJ knee pads. BRILLIANT!

      • The Chivery

        Of course they are. They're Chivettes.

        Chive on!

        • The Chivery

          why…why you back? you're only going to get trolled into oblivion again…

          i love penis!

    • McG

      Giggity!

  • GwinnTro

    #11 As do I. Find them both!

  • acs10

    #13 smart doggy and #18 lucky horse, he is hoping they ride him

    • mouchette

      #13, is that Eliza Dushku?

  • James

    #46 I wish that was my midnite snack

    • http://www.facebook.com/zebulonmiller Zebulon Miller

      I have those same dish towels in my kitchen.

      • Chivacy Please

        If you saw the towels you are certainly gay!

      • Ned Ryerson

        Your response was much funnier, but lacked the proper amount of objectification. Oh, and MOAR!!! (of the gap, not necessarily the towels)

    • Beeeeavis

      Boioioioinnnngggggg

  • MacMan

    #46, I'll be your Snackpack!

    • SpacemanSpiff_

      i see fun size amuse u guys

  • rubikscube

    Everyday the Chive's got me Shufflin"

  • Paula's mom

    #43 that was very thoughtful of you… and you're awesome.

    • Makes No Excuses

      is it wrong that I am mildly in love with this girl? and no I dont mean paulas mom…

    • RGH

      Nice one Willett! I was waiting for some lady to actually follow through and take it literally! Props! By the way that smile is still heart stopping.

      • truthserum

        "that smile is still heart stopping"???? dude, get a fucking life! :p

        • Red

          agreed. what a fag.

          • truthserum

            And if you love her, don't read her twitter account. She's kind of a douchette. No wonder I love her and attack anyone who feels the same!

  • Çreep

    never wanted to trade places with a horse until now #18

  • parlay

    #35, #40, #43, #46

    supporting the troops, sexy bike helmet safety, burning bras, and midnight snacks. explaining the Chive to my friends never makes sense to them, but it fucking should

    • ROK247

      i got hit by a car while on my bike back in college. hurt everything but my head. i wish the chive would have been there to save me back then 😦

      • jamesjackson4

        #35 Going to was warrants wearing a helmet. #41 Riding a fucking bike does not.

        • jamesjackson4

          *war

        • JerkFace

          You almost had a great comment. Missed it…by that much

    • Ned Ryerson

      One does not simply explain theChive. One must participate in the experience.

    • Lisa

      No shit parlay. I'm in a biology class with teenagers & 20-somethings. I'm 39. Me explaining it to them comes down to this: "It has a HUGE emphasis on REAL women…no photoshop…sending in pics of themselves. But they do awesome shit like screw with the international media every so often. (See Jenny/HOPA, girl texts her dad about losing her virginity & Trump leaves $10,000 tip…yes…ALL of those were John & Leo fucking with people on a global scale.) They help firefighters & little girls & soldiers & all sorts of shit, but mostly it's about hot women."

      It makes me cool for about 20 minutes. πŸ˜€ Then they remember I'm old enough to be their Mom. LOL Hey, Mom's chive though. πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

  • romankitten

    actual bra burning, i like it

  • jpp407

    #6 Once you see it!

    • perky_canadian

      what am I missing in this pic?

      • http://gravatar.com/lagentile LG_

        I think it's the kid that looks like a clone of one of the Children of the Corn chilluns'. It's either him (the intense eye contact blonde guy in the second or so row) or the kid in top row picking his nose. If not either of the two I'm stumped.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Hi dear! ❀
          Say, are you going to follow this 'actually burning your bra' trend that just started?

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Hello? Hello?
            Did she hang up on me, again?

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – the one you love to hate

          • http://gravatar.com/lagentile LG_

            I think I'm too frugal to burn my money like that – bras are insanely expensive! I support the trend though. Just metaphorically. :p

            And I'd never hang up on the Paula-meister. Maybe it's an old wives tale, but trolls can reach through phones and I'm not about to buy into that trick. πŸ˜‰

            • jpp407

              I 'support' the trend though.

              Best pun haha.

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              I'll make you a deal. You burn your bra, submit photos of that to the Chive, and I'll support your funbags.

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – my hands are a bit cold, but that should be fun

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1306794685 Michael McCloskey

    #11 me too

  • Jordan Ferenchick

    #29 So there is a god

    • Darkside

      #24
      Nothing??

  • Hack27

    #18…bonus pre-hump double hump DAR

  • HobbesTiger

    #38. Yes I need help on division. Do you have anything I can divide?

    • Chelmsford Spuds

      No, but I'd be willing to investigate multiplication though.

    • NebraskaGuy

      Hmmm … I was thinking more like subtraction.

      Question: If I'm wearing only two items of clothing, and I remove one, what do you have?

      Answer: A boner!

      • Jen

        way to overkill

    • patov40

      Nice!

  • robsterling

    #20
    Oh, noooo! Male Kryptonite!

  • ????

    #12 i have wanted to do the same thing for years.

    • ????

      should be #13 not 12. i can totally stand on my feet by myself.

  • mark

    #43, #44

    If you need a fire extinguisher, I've got one in my pants

    #badpickuplines

    • real talk

      THATS MY GIRL.. HOW DARE YOU HIT ON HER MARK..IM DOWNVOTING YOU

    • DeflaterMouse

      As hot as this chick is, she's starting to get on my nerves. We get it, you're hot and like attention.

      • RickyBobby

        a lot better than LG…

        • 940

          yeah. LG is an even BIGGER attention whore. if that's possible…..

          • truthserum

            Bravo to all 3 of you. THANK YOU.

            But Deflatermouse – I wouldn't really say Erin is "hot" more "cute" – whereas LG thinks she's super hot (but of course tries to downplay it in a "yeah I don't mind my face but I've been offered penthouse and swank a number of times, so who knows – I just like stickin' my finger up my ass like a regular gal and wiping it on a poptart blah blah blah".

            LG may be one of the biggest attention whores I have ever seen and it makes me not want to visit this site ever again, but I am weak and do so anyways.

            • -09-0

              100% agree. I can't stand that Lauren chick's incessantly goopy pageant-girl schtick. "OMG! Really? Thank you sooooo much for your kind, heart-warming words of encouragement that imply you'd love to spunk on my ass!". Ugh, it's enough to give a person diabetes/sneezing fits if they happen to be allergic to bullshit.

              • turdnugget

                Have you ever thought for just one moment that she actually is a nice person? Did you go to the Venice meetup and meet her personally or skype or email with her when you needed to ask for advice or just have a friend to talk to? Get your pessimistic, cynical ass out of her head for just two seconds there buddy. Reading through her comments, she says just "thank you" a lot with the occasional "that was very kind of you" and she actually barely comments on her pics as most posts on her contain a picture of her, which is fucking stellar because she's stunning and actually a real girl who likes the shit on this site, in this sausage factory. If she DIDN'T thank people for complimenting her, then that'd be a bit arrogant and bitchy. Don't fucking rag on her for being a sweet girl just because you can't handle a decent human being. It's not a bullshit persona, she would give anyone the shirt off of her back if they needed it, and you have no right to even suggest that about her without knowing the girl personally.

                • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001552787161 Emily Perez

                  Aren't you doing the exact same thing by claiming she is nice when "you have no right to even suggest that about her without knowing the girl personally." I'm not agreeing nor disagreeing but it's kind of silly to get all high and mighty when you're doing it too.

                  • truthiness

                    I know her personally.

            • Holy Hell

              Please feel free to leave at any time.
              You and "Guesty" really do SUCK.
              FU bitch.

              • Amen

                Agreed. These fuckers are in denial about how shitty their own lives are and find pleasure in lurking a website (seemingly 24/7)…. to prove how lame this site is???? Yeah, makes sense. Because we're on it 24/7 leaving comments about how bad this place is.

            • Truthserum Recall

              You are the biggest retard of them all truthserum/Guesty.

              I do agree that Erin isn't hot by any means, just cute, but you seriously need to rethink your hatred of LG. Have you not been to Erin's twitter and read through her tweets? Have you ever been to a chive meetup? That Erin chick thinks she's fucking god's gift to mankind and talks about how 'so and so hit on her here' and 'so and so says I should model', and if that isn't delusional I don't know what is.

              You're logic is 100% flawed about LG though. How in the hell do you get off saying that LG thinks she's super hot?? Have you meet her? To clue you in on a little secret, the chick doesn't POST her pictures, the Chive staff does. Nobody knows if she submits regularly or not, and it shouldn't matter because she is beautiful to look at and THE CHIVE and the rest of the Chivers enjoy seeing her gorgeous figure and face. If LG posted her own pictures or had a blog or twitter talking about how hot she thinks she is, then I would agree. But she doesn't, and she hasn't. Where the hell do you get off saying that she thinks she "super hot"? You can't just make assumptions about people based (1) on pictures the Chive submits and (2) on someone you know nothing about in person.

              For all the times you hate seeing her pictures, their are 6878645 more people that come here just to see her.

              She engages with Chivers both here,via skype and email (taking time out of her own busy schedule) and she does nothing but ask about how WE are, not talk about herself. Just because she says thank you when people compliment here does not mean anything other than the chick has a heart and comes from southern hospitality.

          • The Word

            Let me clear some things up for you dickwad:

            1.) LG doesn't POST her pictures, you idiot. The Chive staff do. We don't even know how frequently she sends them in. So your so called logic? Yeah, it's flawed. Just because THEY post pictures of her doesn't mean she's an attention whore. It just means 99.9% of the Chivers love her and she's a special presence on here. She pretty much started the amping up trend of Chivettes anyway, and she is fucking gorgeous.

            2.) Erin is a fucking huge attention whore not because she sends in pictures but because the chick literally takes pictures of herself burning her bras for attention, buys into theChive's Nick Swardson crap (by flying her out, spending bucks on her to be in their 'promo'), has been to every meetup (paid for by the Chive), and is absolutely obsessed with herself as seen in her Twitter.

            Time to retrieve your head from your as 940.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001552787161 Emily Perez

              I agree with you. I never really liked her but the whole burning a bra picture really sealed the deal. I mean to be that starved for attention is really sad 😦

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=14830698 Frank Prill

      Bras are expensive……How do you afford that!?!?!?!

    • Average Troll

      Now that I've shown myself to be the true attention whore by hating on a moderately funny/sexy post from a Chive regular, I shall now retire to the comfort of my bedroom where I shall cry myself to sleep wondering why I have a bad job, no friends, and no one to love me……oh yeah, and FAP too.

  • AssClown

    #1
    …MCA

    • Villagers

      Y?

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