Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • http://www.writesomethingfunny.com trboerger

    #9 Those things just look ridiculous without playing cards in the spokes …

    • Bill Murray

      Wow. This DMA sucked all the hair out of my balls.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      how the devil is one supposed to mount/dismount one of these archaic contraptions?

  • hater

    #4. YO DAWG- we heard you like steps, so…

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

      someone get me a slinky….

      • SpacemanSpiff_

        whats the point, all u need for a slinky are 2 steps

  • Still_Counts

    Sammich making machine! ❤

    #10

    • Pants

      Why don't they build them like that over here?

      • Joel

        I think the hamburglar just went legitimate. Or he's about to run off with those.

        • JerkFace

          I don't know what the FUCK you just said but man, you cool…not really. That made no sense.

    • Clay Morrow

      This is what happens when you force your women into staying in the kitchen.

    • kanda

      …and ninja by night O.O

  • NomNomBlah!

    #2 the girl on the right with the disgusted face is Mary Kate….That's the one with bulimia…right?

    • Herp Derp

      Fuck 'Merica, yeah!
      Wasting food since 1492 ….

      • Niggher Beater

        it's better than letting any of those filthy brown-people have any. that scum needs to be purged from the earth.

        • ThatGuy

          I recognize your sarcasm and has thus voted you up accordingly.

  • sshuggi

    #21 Mind Blown….

    • http://www.sublimedirectory.com ChodeLauncher

      Disney's been recycling scenes for many years…

      • scott

        its not recycling, its the same character just grown up

        • Iowa

          Exactly, and the amount that Pixar puts into recurring characters (or objects, such as the pizza truck) is amazing! Thought I saw all the references, but the Sid one is new to me!

        • Jacob

          Andy goes to college, Sid, the juvenile delinquent who blows shit up in his back yard becomes the trash collector . . . makes perfect sense.

          • ThatGuy

            Implying its not a part time job.

      • Katie

        o.o That video… The song sounds like a psychopath is singing about how he is gonna kill you.

    • Seldi84

      He's even voiced by the same guy how voiced Sid in 1995.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=526770996 Jay Hernandez

        I think he's missing hes forearm and hand?? Kids don't play with fireworks.

    • os99

      I went to a Toy Story 3 Q&A with the director (Lee Unkrich) and he asked us if we noticed it. Nope, not the one.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001828584414 Brandon Thomas

      They do it in every pixar movie. Like Monsters INC. has Nemo, Jessi, and there is one other one but don't rember it.

    • Chris

      Noticed it first time. I'm a geenious.

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #16 bad parenting: how not to display your child

    • Anon

      thats how children in those dumb beauty pagents shouldnt be displayed

      • Anon

        sigh should*

    • Carol Brady

      Come on who hasn't accidently banged their kids head into a wall or a door…..

      at least once a week or a day.

  • Guestage

    First….

    • Moustachos.

      no.

  • :(.

    #7 Why? I have yet to find a woman that likes Galaga.

    • joeoby78

      i see what you did there…..

    • SpacemanSpiff_

      exactly what i thought!

    • Ed Wuncler

      What? Bitches love Galaga.

    • Sugar

      That is the dining room!

  • jebloney

    first

    • Iowa

      You're below the other guy who called "first."

      You're bad and you should feel bad.

  • ThankAla!

    #15 My prayers have been answered

    • Logan

      if that's one of your prayers, i think you spend way too much time thinking about Justin Bieber……

      • bob lee swagger

        What he said. Who cares about Bieber? His music is for 12 year old girls, you're NOT SUPPOSED to like it.

    • Jen

      I know the kid is corny, but isn't a death threat taking it a bit far?

      • o_O

        No..

        • Claude M.

          The death threat reactions to Bieber suggest that there is something about him that threatens some people's sense of their own identity. Perhaps he awakens latent sexual desires they'd rather repress than acknowledge.

          In other words, guys who post the death threats about Bieber really wish he was singing "me + you" to them, and that he'd take 'em to the "mountain top" and bone 'em till they sang "Baby, baby, baby, oh".

          • 940

            So, you're saying the Chive staff is secretly gay( Or in John's case, not so secretly)?

      • 94843

        yes. at the end of the day, it it just a kid. don't like his music? just do what all the dogmatically fanboyish chivers say to do : IGNORE IT, and GTFO.

    • ConstableDubs

      This is what I like to see, people of different faiths and backgrounds joining together to fight a common foe.

  • WellDone.

    #21 Always knew that boy was going places.

    • Mike

      Yeah, well at least he has a well paying job and isn't one of those 99 percenter fags.

      • WoodyInYourAnus

        From now on you must take good care of your toys. cause if you don't, we'll find out mike. We toys can see everything. So play nice!

      • vlad

        I wouldn't call "trash collector" a well paying job

        • Ian

          Trash collectors actually make bank considering you don't have to have a college degree to do it. In my area they start around 50k a year.

        • The_Dood

          Do you not remember Married With Children?

        • Dr_StrangePants

          i ain't jealous that garbage men make more money then teachers in most cities.
          fact is, it's the secret blessing of the job.
          hell, dude in my class has a father who's a garbage man. Putting his son through college.

      • tits

        strange, i wasnt aware that making 50k puts you in the top 1%.

    • Moodzy

      Serious.. who didn't notice that! it was clearly obvious during the movie

      • Favio

        no it wasn't, I bet even you didn't know until you saw that picture and just want to be all hipster about it.

    • Hrmmm

      mind blown

  • Pokepoke

    #12 everyday im shovelin

    • mau

      funny shit

    • Frank

      Damnit! Now all i can think of is a bunch of freakin rats dancing in front of a shitty car.

      • Dr_StrangePants

        and giant robots

    • Larry

      +1 to the man card.

  • Strewart

    #19 one of these three is not like the others

    • hah

      the right one is not smiling?

    • haha

      the one on the left looks like a future supervillain.

    • ShakeyTheMoyle

      "I'm Fabulous!!!"

    • Om nom nom

      One of these three listens to Justine Bieber, guess who…

    • Ash

      Obviously… that kid on the right is like a foot taller than the other two!

    • Dave

      No, The other 2 aren't out yet.

    • Mr. H

      which, the "Soon" face kid?

    • truth

      one of the kids is a faggot

  • Dogstrap

    #23

    yeah right

    • Billy




      heres the video dipshit.

      • Dogstrap

        That's Mister Dipshit, catface…

        • Bill

          catface is the best comeback you can come up with after being called dipshit. You really are a dipshit.

          • Mrs_Conejo

            thought it was funny…

          • Dr. Hfuhruhurr

            me too, I'm using it

      • Spt

        Let me embed that for you

        • NebraskaGuy

          That's pretty baddass!

          Thanks for sharing!

    • houtini

      yeah right LIKE A BOSS motherfucker

      • stew

        I remember when I learned the F word.

    • alllllaa

      tommy dugan is a badass but your retarded to understand that

  • Dan

    #11 I really hope that is photoshop and not dye.

    • Hippy Dan

      That lady need to "dye" herself.

    • Ha.Ha.

      Patriotism at its finest! Fuck cats!

    • this is me

      Caption should read, "PLEASE KILL ME NOW!"

      • Unfkngblvbl

        correction: "please kill me meow"

    • Bilbo T-Baggins

      Ameri-cat! Fuck Yeah!

  • SuperiorTo8

    #9 Should be an Olympic sport… Just kidding. Its ridiculous

  • blub_glub

    #11 why does this remind me of sarah palin?

    • Anon

      because she is just a proud American hockey mom showing her colours by making her cat look like a flag?

    • Mito

      Palin or not, I want to punch her for doing that to her cat.

      • Puppy Chow

        cats deserve it

    • The Internet

      Nope… Chuck Testa

    • Bilbo T-Baggins

      cause you love American pussy… cat

    • Electrical College

      because you think it's 2008 and have nothing funnier in the hopper?

  • g3nXsLack3r

    #13 OMFG!!!! No cheese sauce?!?!

    • Foreverwaiting

      wheres the bacon strips??

    • Rightclicksaveas

      six hours by your self at Hooters on a Sunday … forever alone

      • Fail

        You are at Hooters and all your attention has gone into playing with food? You're doing it wrong!

        • Ha.Ha.

          I have been to several Hooters where the food looked better than some of the server girls…

    • Mr. H

      I'm finding it hard to believe that hooters girls build that, such a piece of engineering…

  • Lower

    #17 how do you think he really delivers the presents all over the world in one night…..

    • Favio

      through slavery of elves?

      • The_Dood

        Yeah, but they're trying to get a union together.

        • SoCal Val

          They don't even have dental.

      • altair

        Is there an alienage in the north pole?

      • hMMMM

        There is an Occupy North Pole going on at the moment, so Santa just needs to get in shape to take on extra this xmas.

        • Jeff

          Unfortunately they are frozen to the spot and are blocking the entrance to the North Pole Toy factory.

  • MilkDud

    lol the Pitcher of beer creepin…Soon.

  • blub_glub

    #19 *high pitched* FABULOOOOUUUSSSS!!!!!

    • Patov40

      obviously a Chiver.

  • lauren

    Lmao #19 that’s sooo fabuloussssss

  • kigero

    #19 Guess who’s the evil genius, who’s the muscle and who’s fabulous

  • lauren

    #11 not cool, where the heck is p.e.t.a to rescue that kitty from the crazy lady

    • agonystes

      It's cat safe paint made from mice and laser pointers

    • Ash

      They're busy also being crazy cat ladies

    • ImpressMe

      Its vegetable dye…and peta doesn't actually help any animals…they're just media whores who waste the money on giant billboards and getting facetime on camera.

      • https://www.facebook.com/justinsargood1 Justin Sargood

        and making porn…

    • ThatGuy

      pretty sure this is shopped.

    • Kenneth

      In a better run world, the people behind PETA would all be too busy sucking dicks in hell

  • Mack318

    #20 is adorable enough, i'd let him piss on everything

    • blub_glub

      i like the way you think mack, i like the way you think…

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