Daily Morning Awesomeness (25 Photos)

  • Paul Wall


  • Stan_Dalone

    you know how I know you're fucked? #20

    • Yanker

      You know how I know you're fucked? When you go through an old post, like… Oh, say:

      and write stupid one word comments on EVERY. SINGLE. PICTURE… Just to give yourself a thumbs up to counter your negative rating from all the other stupid posts you make. Seriously, who clicks every single pic of an old post, writes a comment, just to boost their rating? I thought you said you didn't care about your rating, Forever_Alone?

      • Da_Boz

        That's some funny shit Yanker. I checked on it and yeah, that's pretty damn sad, but now I want to follow just to see what stupid shit comes out next…

        • Forever_Alone

          Seems to have a steady stream of stupid shit delivered through verbal diarrhea.

        • paula_pissflap

          where paula_ ?

          – the one you love to hate

        • Stan_Dalone

          Paula can't handle being trolled so she gets her dumbass friends to thumb me down, so I run around giving her options to thumb down she and her minions run around wasting their time chasing me around. I get all kinds of laughs at their expense

          • 09843

            You're not a troll. You're not trolling anyone. People just see your retarded comments and thumb them down(with the occasional 1 or 2 users shadowing/trolling you themselves).

          • FuckoffStan

            "Paula can't handle being trolled so she gets her dumbass friends to thumb me down, so I run around giving her options to thumb down she and her minions run around wasting their time chasing me around. "

            Seriously could you make any less sense?


      • FuckoffStan

        Yeah I noticed that the other day

        Lets look at some of Sleeps_Alone's great hits from the past 24hrs!

        spoiled kitty

        wantful kitty

        attack kitty

        praying kitty

        suck ass cat


        ambush cat

        fat cat



        playing snake kitty


        gunny kitty

        caged kitty

        jimmy Durante kitty

        playstation cat

        social cats

        pokemon cat

        beachcomber cat

        And it goes on and on.

        All from the same thread http://thechive.com/2011/07/02/cat-saturday-30-ph

        Dude you need either a hope or a patch kit for your girlfriend

        • Forever_Alone

          Isn't that what the cool kids call "trolling"…? Shit, I remember when stan first started trying to make coherent comments on here – 5 weeks ago @ theCHIVE – Daily Morning Awesomen… · 2 replies · -4 points
          first of you really are an idiot and trolling you has never been more fun. watching you and your so-called friends scurrying to make sure my score goes down. I told you before the score means nothing to me. Only you and your cronies care. i don't need a poll to tell you that you are a loser all ya have to do is see how many people thumb you down on every post

          If your score means nothing… Bah, the logic (or lack thereof)…

      • its_forge

        Uh. You can't thumbs yourself up. Y'know. Not that I'd even try that, that's LAME.

    • DoomsDayDub

      When your name is Stan?

    • JROC

      hey guys, watch out for stan… he's a dick

      • Sleep_Salone

        You misspelled cunt.

        • JROC

          fuck i always forget about the silent UUUUNNNTTTT sound

    • FuckoffStan

      OH WAIT! It gets even BETTER! Pages and pages of numbers! Thats right…… NUMBERS! Not numbers with a # sign beside them to comment on a certain pic but just NUMBERS! LMFAO!

      You can sit there and say that you were trolling so people would chase you around and comment on them but that "logic" only works in your little world Stanley!

      Almost 3 fucking pages of numbers, how seriously pathetic.


      • Forever_Alone

        All just so he can give himself thumbs up. It's pretty sad, really. I almost wish I had as much free time as Sleeps_Alone so I can go thumb him back down on each post he's been making… But I'm glad I have a life instead.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tim.posta Tim Posta

    victory is mine

    • aldarbeedoo


    • https://www.facebook.com/kindlin David Terry

      The epitome of epic failure is yours.

  • https://www.facebook.com/marin.alcaraz Marín Alcaraz

    good morning ¬¬

  • ConstableDubs

    Why hello there!

    • Innocent Bystander


  • g3nXsLack3r

    #2 Ahhhh…it's OK bro…let's go get some beer and peanuts.

    • Jim

      beer nuts 🙂

    • Crobli1

      Geaux Tigers

    • Mrs_Conejo

      poor guy needs a hug, and less concrete 😦

    • loki

      fuck it dude…lets go bowling.

  • Stan_Dalone

    you are coming to the garbage can like it or not #1

    • Forever_Alone

      If only we could see you thrown to the curb

  • Wickedslick

    #13 Not cool.

    • Bobolog

      Find her.

      • Stan_Dalone

        I tried, It just Identifies her as a woman steals ball from little girl

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

          I got some balls that lady can have….talkin bout 25 lb medicine balls thrown from a 30 story building onto her big bitch head.

    • eclipze

      I thought the guy was about the give her a Bitch Slap instead of the high five. WHAT THE HELL.

    • Rod

      She needs to be found and humiliated.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      The adult clearly saw it FIRST.

      – she should have high-fived that kid in the face for trying to take it from her

    • monoxxide

      i agree it was intended for the little girl that B should feel bad

    • john connor

      FIND HER. Naming and shaming is a fitting punishment from someone who would steal a baseball from a little kid.

    • Kodos

      Dare we use our "Find Her" Chive power for evil?
      Still, ultra-bitch.

    • Jason O

      If some guy did that, he'd have gotten the shit kicked out of him, but because she's got a pair of tits, she gets high-fived.

    • Remy

      She should be ashamed. Lets find out who she is and shame her on the interwebs!

      • markieb

        Reports are this is the b*tch. Please note where she is employed http://www.kisd.org/heights/faculty/fac.asp?e-mai

        • markieb
          • James

            How interesting. "The page is UNAVAILABLE!" At least a good amount of people told her how they feel about stealing a foul ball from a 5 year old. What a stupid bitch.

        • Ling

          she doesn't even look like the woman on the video.

        • RyRy

          This isn't 4chan, you d-bags. Guess what, the world is full of pieces of shit, just like this woman. Get over it and leave the juvenile "public humiliation" bullshit somewhere else. Chances are, the woman ended up giving them the ball, the team itself gave them a whole bunch of swag or at the very least, they learned a valuable lesson. Now kindly fuck off.

          • Chiefs420

            There's always got to be some idiot – "This isn't 4chan" Well no fucking shit. Chances are? Chances are you suck. RyRy.

            • GHARVX

              Chances are…. sucks and blows

            • SeasonSalt

              it is kind of turning into 4chan though. people are getting more blood thirsty on here all the time… chive should just stick with funny stuff and interesting things. Leave all controversial material some where else.
              every time there is a post regarding black face, not tipping, cunts that steal baseballs from little kids, ect… people shit there pants.
              ohhh and chances are "chief420" should suck a bag of dicks.

              • http://www.tube8.com SimonPhoenix

                Some of the "controversial stuff" is funny . like this .. this is funny cause some asshat cunt bitch had the BALLS to steal a child's ball .. BUT .. it's also fucked up and sad .. and now she must PAY AND SUFFER for her bul lshit.

              • Chiefs420

                Sweet! Can I borrow the one you keep under your bed?

              • Chiefs420

                Oh, and it's ChiefS. Plural. Not singular, like the amount of friends you have.

          • Catalyst

            WTF are you talking about? Every website is for tormenting and humiliating others. You must be new to the web.

            • SeasonSalt

              nope just think it is lame to shit your pants about shit you can't do anything about.

            • BigRick69

              I agree with RyRy. if you want to use internet sources to find, stalk, and humiliate people, go to 4chan. Here we look at funny pictures/watch funny vids/gifs, and that is it. Please go back to /b/ and stop spamming our Chive with violent and inappropriate suggestions. TheChive is supposed be a place for mature, working people to "keep calm", not a place for losers to run their twisted social lives.

              • America's Cock

                you're new here, aren't you?

    • bollyver

      occupy ball game.

      • http://www.analdestruction.com Cee_U_Next_Time

        LMAO … that's quickly becoming the answer to everything! I love it .

        I say ..#Occupy her asshole with a splintered baseball bat

    • Ling

      i sat and watched this several times just hoping this time would be the one where that girl's mother runs down the stairs and shoves that ball up the bitch's ass. she needs to be publicly shamed about that. nothing cool about yanking a ball away from a kid and celebrating about it.

      • KeepinCalm

        This is at a Houston Astros game this year. The video was posted locally on a sports radio station's site, and they got a few emails from friends they know her, and she's scared of the power of the internet. This also hit Fark, and they were trying to find her too.

        I've asked many people with the station and no one has a name. But she will be found eventually.

    • Marc

      Found and arrested…

      You can google her…norma stitz

      • j22

        fuck. you.

      • nathan

        you got me! at work! hahahahaha

    • Billy
      • Billy

        Her name apparently is Susan but that is they say.

    • NoSoFast

      Sorry and not to be mean here, I've waited all my life to finally catch a foul ball. I'm in my 30's and if it's me or a kid, sorry kid. You too can wait as long as I have to finally get one.

      • You Suck

        The point is she didn't catch it, the kid did. She took it from the kid, after the kid caught it!

        • You Swallow

          Looked like they both caught it, but the woman ripped it from the girls hands.

          • its_forge

            No, the woman was five feet away when the kid caught it and the cunt ripped it from the little girl's hands and then congratulated herself as if she'd caught it herself. What an asshole.

      • panama99

        Maybe you should also knock the child down to emphisis your point. That way you can really teach the kid a lesson….stay in your damn seat. Its a damn ball, these are kids and you're an adult. I realize you have dreams of selling it for thousands of $$$s but it probably isn't going to happen.

        The good news is that maybe you can find a kitten or puppy to kick on the way home.

      • sandi

        Your in your 30'a and still pining to catch a ball? For serious? get a life bud.

      • Jonesy

        This looks more like a ball tossed by the first baseman as he heads into the dugout…it was clearly meant for the little girl as it bounced several time on top of the dugout. I myself am still after that ever elusive first foul ball and if I catch it, it's mine!! But I'm not gonna take it out of a kid's hands…and all other foul balls after the first should be given to a kid.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=623886367 Michael Alen Pugh

        As mentioned already… you're 30 something and are so ball crazy you would take it from a kid? Fuck that… if I caught that shit MID-AIR and there was a kid next to me reaching for it too… I can most certainly say i would give it to them anyway. So pretty sure you should much less fight someone half your size for the damn thing.

    • 3209

      obviously a chivette.

    • etcrr

      A severe caning would do

  • JTC

    story of my life #4

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      At the top it should say "If you can piss above this line, you should be a fireman."

  • Brian

    #13 what a bitch.

    • joe

      Make a meme out of her… "Bitchy Brenda" or something like that

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001287850560 Elisa Henderson Briceño

        or just paula..

        • LameassPaula

          Yup agreed that would be Paula, no question

    • James

      Sees Girl's dream about to come true
      Rips it out of her hands

    • Billy
    • j22

      Poor girl, had to sit through a BASEBALL game to get a chance at that ball. You know how many hours that must have felt like to a little kid?

  • http://drumusicloudsounds.tumblr.com/ drummer113

    #13 pissed me the fuck off. seriously, how dare you steal that ball from that little kid? what a bitch. Then, she high-fives her dick friend. Wow.

    • Joe

      You should watch that video of the Texas judge beating his handicapped daughter… Judge William Adams… Google it!!

      • Dan

        WTF? Reminds me of my dad. Asshole.

        • Tom

          ah, so you were his handicapped daughter then.

      • j22

        My stepmom was worse. Just bend over and take it. Then its over.

      • http://drumusicloudsounds.tumblr.com/ drummer113

        I saw that. Name is Judge Adams and, from the current news that he's putting out there, he's not even remorseful. He has a backwards way of living. His wife left him after having been manipulated into beating her daughter after having been abused herself. (Apparently, that does happen.) I'm sure that he'll have to resign because I don't doubt that if he ever presides over a case, anyone, even the criminal, can bring up this video and state, "How can you judge me fairly if you can't even use justice fairly on your child?"

        It's seriously not that hard to just tell her, "Hey, I don't want you on the internet. If I see you on it again, I'm disconnecting it and selling it." That just seems like a much more logical punishment because a) She won't ever use it again and b) If she does, she won't ever use it gain. I really don't agree with punishing your child that severely over something like this. I would understand if she somehow committed a crime or maybe spent a large amount of her dad's money. MAYBE. But, like I said, it just doesn't seem logical to continuously beat and verbally abuse her. That carries on later in life.

    • Stan_Dalone

      ya, she sucks, but she will get hers, what goes around comes around

      • FuckoffStan

        If thats the case dumbass youre in for one hell of a shitty life.

        What left of it anway. Keep slammin them doughnuts fatass

    • MonkeyMadness

      I've seen this before, what a total bitch. I would have kicked her right square in the balls.

      • Billy

        Sadly it is another incident at a Houston Astros game.

    • HowDare?

      Because they caught it at the same time, woman just ripped her hands and took the ball. Been 34yrs on Earth and I've not caught a ball yet. Between me or someone else, kid or not, I want a ball! Heck, give me a close opportunity to even get one and I may be happier.

      • panama99

        Come on you just changed you log in from NoSoFast and you gave the same lame stary of being on Earth for 34 sad years.


        If you want a ball that bad simply go buy one you cheap bastard and tell every-one a made-up story or steal it from a Little league park. That seems ore your speed and hey, you can still steal it from a kid.

        • JerkFace

          stary?! oh, S.T.O.R.Y I get it now. oh, and fuck that little kid. (not really but…got keep up the rep you know)

          • panama99

            I'm sorry, I had a tear in my eye when I was typing my response and I hit the wrong key.

            Thank you for correcting my bad spelling.


      • DoomsDayDub

        Yeah really, go stand outside of a minor league baseball stadium, the balls go out into the parking lot all the time loser! I could see if it was a record breaking ball that you were going to sell for $500K, but it sounds like this was just your average every day run of the mill game. It's not some life accomplishment to catch a baseball. Maybe you should have not been such a loser when you were a kid and actually played baseball. Or maybe you did, and your inability to catch a ball still haunts you.

        • KeepCalm

          Must have been your daughter, feel bad for you. So much pent up anger.

        • http://drumusicloudsounds.tumblr.com/ drummer113

          So, are you calling me a loser because I don't condone this woman's actions or because of your assumption that I played/didn't play baseball and know/don't know how to catch? That's hearsay. I could make the same claim about you knowing how to logically word a reply to my statement. But, that's not the current situation of this thread as a whole.

          Well, it may not have been a cherished memory of yours, but, ask yourself this: If you have a great memory of accomplishing something that you did only to see someone else steal it from you and have it be them that's remembered for doing it, how would you feel?

          Before this little girl got an autographed ball from the player that hit the one in the .gif, her day just went from awesome to shit.

          A rebuttal for you statement would be that it's not a matter of having or not having the ability of catching a ball, however much one sells it for or whether or not one even played little league; it's about owning a memory. Something you did on your own.
          That's the point I was making. But, don't worry, I didn't mind writing this short essay to explain it to you; I just hope you can understand it.


          • DoomsDayDub

            Dude, you are an idiot. I was in no way talking to you. That wouldn't have even made sense as a reply to your comment. The comment was obviously directed towards "How Dare" who said he has been waiting 34 years to catch a ball at a game and would have also stole it from the little girl. Learn how the forum works before you go replying to everyone with your essays that are supposedly explaining something to someone. What a maroon!

      • Jak

        You are a sad, sad little man

      • etcrr

        she ripped it out of the kids hand, the kid caught it first. There is something very wrong about a woman who feels big about stealing from a little kid

    • https://www.facebook.com/babybluealliecat Allie Howard

      I seriously hope she got her ass kicked by the kid's mom-what a bitch.

    • http://drumusicloudsounds.tumblr.com/ drummer113

      I'm honestly not totally sure who is replying to me. I got the gist of who else is replying to who but the little arrows KIND OF don't help. Lol. Update to this story, later in the game, the player who hit the home run signed a ball and had it sent up to the girl. So, that other lady pretty much got shit and the little girl got an autographed ball.

      With minor league games, yeah, I understand that most of the time the ball goes everywhere and even bounces because most of the time the kids didn't catch it. But, seriously, the little girl legitimately caught that ball and you can clearly see that that lady just TOOK it out of her hands. Yeah, most of us may go through life not ever catching a ball on our own; I guess the next best thing is to take it from a kid who caught it legitimately. For your sake, I hope no one ever steals that memory from your child, nephew, niece, cousin, etc.

      Cheers and don't forget to set your clocks an hour back. Happy Saturday.

  • Kermit

    #16 So sexy

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_


      – the one you love to hate

      • Ramrod

        Fuckin paula!

    • Piggy

      I see what you did there!

    • Really?

      That's creepier than those "Feed the Pig" commercials.

  • walther

    #13 is SCUM!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001287850560 Elisa Henderson Briceño

      actually is paula

      • LameassPaula

        it is her no question

  • Smh

    #21 don't lean against a wall while waiting for the bus in manhattan..

    • EZRA2

      Shit thats a Cope2 painting which means its legendary that she was painted on. shes most likly worth (Dr. Evil Voice) ONE MILLION DOLLARS

  • Aly

    #10 poor kid

    • touch my d

      INTERVENTION: We need you to step away from the internet meow.

  • art

    Genius!! #4

    • cheezebits

      Opposite of genius. It gives your friends a reason to piss all over your walls.

  • Mr.Obvious

    #5" i made you a cupcake but i eated it.."

    • beat rice

      and got sick to my stomach because its CHOCOLATE

  • T_B


  • That guy...

    #4 Fact: Room was covered in piss that night no matter how drunk people were.

  • Mouchette

    #13, wow, lol

    #17, go back to the canopy layer

    • beat rice

      i don't get what's so incredible about 17

  • Ander

    #13 Karma's a bitch!

    • CauseShesABitch

      guessing the ladys' name is Karma?

    • Anon

      I think you need to watch that again

      • SpacemanSpiff

        what he meant was: "Karma is a bitch"

    • Tom

      why what has the little kid done to deserve that?

      • HowAbout That?

        i believe he meant that eventually karma would find the woman.

        • SpacemanSpiff

          no it's funny cuz he meant: "karma is a bitch"

    • etcrr

      what goes around comes around and Karma will give that Bitch her rightful deserves

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.a.sampson Thomas Allen Sampson

    #13 FIND HER…….THEN PUNISH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Michael

    #16 is that Chief Wiggum's wife?

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_


      – the one you love to hate

      • ChaseTheWalker

        Way to steal my thunder!! I can't even say it now…

      • LameassPaula

        it is you finally you own up to it douche bitch

  • http://thechive.com ontherun1989

    #25 Way ahead of you. Cheers Chivers and Chivettes.

    • eclipze

      My weekend starts only on Sunday. I hate my job.

    • SuperDanMan4290

      Yeah, i could use one of those as well. :-/


    • You'redoingitwrong

      shot pouring fail…

  • http://twitter.com/GuitarGuyLesson @GuitarGuyLesson

    #15 looks disgusting. Maybe that's just me.

    • eclipze

      that is truly disgusting. lol.

    • EZRA2

      I would like that to be at my wedding, GF says Hell No but we could have a Nutella fountain

    • Dr_StrangePants

      i won't go so far to say it looks disgusting
      but i'm worried how thick ketchup could either clog it up or not flow out evenly.
      ….or if it just comes out lukewarm

    • Doctwar

      not if they also have a fries and burger fountain as well

    • ImpressMe

      nope…its disgusting…you are dead on. Can you imagine whats sticking to that ketchup??

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