I hate my job (26 Photos)

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  • http://twitter.com/ustcmrjeff @ustcmrjeff

    #24 reminds me of my job… at least metaphorically

    • stan

      cool

  • carl

    #3… every morning

    • Biggus Diccus

      Especially during winter when you dred stepping out into the cold

    • 032

      white people problems.

  • Kaars

    #26… Either there's a light bulb up her ass, or the chair had a great idea

    • Biggus Diccus

      Scrubs…nice

      • Kaars

        Dr. Cox one of the greatest antagonists in TV.

        • Mister H.

          is it just me, or there are two little people holding hands and kissing in the picture?

          • TheAutomaticMan

            i can totally see that haha

      • Robin

        Scrubs quote would be "Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea" – to be pedantic

    • Lisa

      *or her colon has a great idea

    • andintheend

      how on earth are they able to remove that in one piece!?!?

      • Stan_Dalone

        carefully

      • Lawndart

        Mexican Food.

      • https://www.facebook.com/jason.ciotti Jason Ciotti

        Get the janitor involved.

      • its_forge

        Well, on Scrubs they threaded a deflated surgical balloon up there and then inflated it and it pushed the bulb out of the bum without a problem.

    • vindi

      Did you know that you can also fit a light bulb in your mouth, but afterwards you can't remove it?

      • cliqueded

        Holy shit it works!

        • eeonatan

          hoey shi ee woks!!!

    • mcmuffin

      sounds like a job for lemmy winks.

    • Nolaboy

      please tell me you put in some poor jackass's office left to be turned on??

      from tv to your job!!

      #26

    • Rahpael Poopcrap

      Right now someone is tracking down the moron who posted someone's private medical record to an online forum. Congrats, you made it on the chive. Too bad you're going to lose your job for it.

      • tagbadger

        There's no information other than a description of the condition she came in with. I don't think its identifiable enough to cause much issue. Who's going to know the woman unless they have already been made aware of the incident?

        • jimbojones

          Well it was an old-style incandescent light bulb, so she must've been over 40.

        • teh dude

          doesn't matter. if it wasn't obviously fake, it would still be illegal. That is still legally a picture of "her" and therefor not able to be shared with the public.

          • stfu

            stfu, you don't know shit.

    • nefaarious

      thats just buck nasty!

    • http://www.facebook.com/ewalk216 Eric Walker

      Why would anyone use anything less than 100 watts?

  • NO EVERLAST

    THE POINT OF THAT IS IF ITS NOT A STRIAGHT FUKIN LINE WHY BOTHER

    • Brutal Deluxe

      Can't you go tongue-kiss an electrical outlet or something?

  • Calle

    #26 definitely not a bright idea…

    • Biggus Diccus

      She's a smart ass

    • Marine Dad

      I have heard about this with alot of things, but a light bulb? Imagine the ride to the ER just hoping the bumps in the road would not bust the damn thing! OK here's one, hey give me a butt light!

      • Chivacy Please

        I said "Bud Light"
        How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it also takes a surgeon to get it out.
        Oh you said "screw in" the light bulb – I only heard "screw"
        This is the woman version of a "fleshlight"

        • BloodScrubber

          And yet unlike a refridgerator light…it remains off when the back-door is open.

  • DemonDan

    #14 glad i'm not the only one who does that….

    • Biggus Diccus

      I stare at the mirror ceiling and make funny faces, hope there isn't a camera in there.

      • dorkfish

        I use the mirror ceiling to get an occasional down blouse

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

      And there is some guy in a security room watching you on a surveillance camera laughing his ass off.

    • headless

      life wouldn't be worth living if you don't do that.

  • jeff

    #26 pointing the light bulb in the other direction would help it go in easier? ouch!

    • Brutal Deluxe

      Vag punch = not pretty

    • Mike

      Funny you should know that!?

      • jeff

        well, a) one would have to be a total fucking moron – probably named mike – to not figure that out on one's own, and b) your mom loves it either way…heh

    • Ken

      If she fit it in there without breaking it, it couldn't have been that difficult to get it back out without breaking it!

    • Biggus Diccus

      What would make someone stick a fragile glass object up thier ass?????

      • ZachBob

        why would someone shove a gerbil up their ass?

  • NO EVERLAST

    CAN SOME ONE SOME WHERE GIVE ONE…….ONE ……………………………………………………………NOT……………………………………….NUMBER THEY MAKE UP …………………………………………………………………………..ONE……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….SO ……………………………………..I ……………………………………..CAN…………………………………….GOOD FUKIN ODDS U TWAT

    • Ken

      What????

    • Meh

      umm… what??

    • Jules

      English MotherFucker do you speak it?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001143045246 Raymond Amoroso

      if someone can track this asshat down, I'll go there cut his eyes out & post the pic of them!

    • ChaseTheWalker

      Go play in traffic!

    • B45op

      Either your Keyboard is broken or you are retarded. I'm going with both just to be safe.

      ps. you might want to see someone about both of those things.

  • The_Stif

    #4. I have those shitty Optiplex 755's as well. I feel your pain.

    • B45op

      Unless yours is hanging from the ceiling I doubt you have felt the same pain.

      • The_Stif

        HA. No, but my people have to have them under their desk so that they aren't in their way. I took over this IT dept a year and a half ago and have lost 17 hard drives. The guy before me didn't make images and didnt document licenses or software at all. That has been a huge pain.

  • Mandalor

    #26.. i almost spit coffee all over my keyboard.. how do you exlpain that to desktop support? "yeah see i was on the chive, and they had this pic.. it was an xray of a chick with a lightbulb up her ass, so i lost control of my mouth and spit coffee all over the place." "of course i will show you, just replace my keyboard you ass!!"

    • Manny

      probably happens more often then you think.

  • fkin smart

    #12 "use phone as a hotspot"

    • http://www.tube8.com SimonPhoenix

      genius!

  • Mike Hunt

    #26 glad i'm not the only one who does that….

    • Hugh Jass

      Nope still just you. Don't you recognise your own pictures.

    • FIST

      Risk your job by exposing patient records on a highly trafficked website?

  • http://twitter.com/asylumstudio B Line (@asylumstudio)

    #14 boogie down!!!!

  • Anonymous

    GIVE ME MY COMMENTING PRIVILEGES BACK!!! Just b/c I was of the opinion and Asa Hope was NOT hot justifies you banning my IP???

    You guys are making it obvious by using Paula to bait me into commenting everyday…

  • yanet

    #19

    You sir, are stuck.

    • Stan_Dalone

      the guy in that excavator is a neub he is stuck only because he doesn;t know how to get hiumself out. It is easy as hell to get that out of there

    • Bazz

      I know, lets dig our way out……

      No, dig up…… stupid.

  • Brandon

    Where in south africa is #1?

    • Brandon

      Birmingham, Alabama.

  • Fun with Numbers.

    Like a lighbulb in our vagina's. So are the Days of Our Lives.

    • hello

      You sir, are old.

      • B45op

        na i think that shit is still running

        • Allison

          Yeap Dol is on Love it!!

  • chicago

    #23 "Gadzook's" what a mess. call "Eddie V" to help…

    • Fdub

      #23 Holding it down in Funkytown

  • MylesofStyles

    #12 Sort through saved porn files, and organize them by species.

    • dorkfish

      "by species", you're a sick fuck, aren't you?

      • MylesofStyles

        So you guys do pay attention while reading the comments. Nice.

  • Meh

    #9 Threats are ALWAYS the best way to go!

    I don't know about other IT Departments, but it has been my experience that chronic complainers and people bitching about their POS desktops/laptops are usually the last people any IT person wants to help. On the other hand, if you are a half-way decent human being and show mutual respect for those who take care of you, shit gets done.

    Moral of the story: Be kind, keep calm and chive on.

    • xspader

      And replace this persons laptop with a pencil and paper. Update your status now arsehole

    • MattKL

      Most definitely. I used to work in an IT department, and you're exactly right. Most of the people we helped were nice and appreciated it, but every so often you got these self-absorbed, self-important a-holes you just wanted to strangle with a lamp cord.

      • The_Stif

        Every so often? I want to work where you did. It is a daily grind for me to work with people who complain about slow pc's slow 5gb file transfers, and their browsers not displaying their kids pictures on facebook correctly. People love to shit on IT, and if i seriously get called the "computer guy" one more time, I will flip. I dont call the women in customer service "bitchy gal".

        • VJ_1

          Best way to get the best laptops and phones, quicker IT service and a free port outside the company firewall…make friends with the IT department in your first week. Doughnuts help.

  • Your a Douche

    Shut up Stan Dalone…

    • Stan_Dalone

      that's not me, I maybe a lot of thinngs but opff the wall loony is not one of them

      • The_Dood

        I will admit that most of the time you annoy me. But at least you don't do this shit man. Damn, this is just retarded.

        • Stan_Dalone

          It isn't in me to do this weird shit. thumb me down all you want, all it proves is you can ok so what. but this NO EVERLAST is NOT me

          • FuckoffStan

            The IPs beg to differ Sleeps_Alone

          • The_Dood

            I said at least you DON'T do this. I was trying to say something nice about you. Or are you trolling me? I can't tell, and don't really care.

      • FuckoffStan

        Says the little attention whore

  • WTF

    #26 someone please donate a dildo

    • dorkfish

      Or a dick

  • http://www.tube8.com SimonPhoenix

    Go Occupy Wallstreet .. stop bitching already

    • The_Stif

      That is a good new one liner. Hey Hipster… go occupy wall street. I like it. Thank you sir.

  • http://www.theChive.com Mack318

    #20 I feel your pain, I get stuck doing that 6 hours a night for 7 nights in a row at least once a month. But I keep my laptop back there so I can always Keep Calm

    • mewho132

      thats the way we do it, as lon as the client is nowhere nearby

  • J Ling-Ling

    #26 maybe her ass had a great idea!!

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