Take a photo of your weapon and send it in right now! (103 Photos) UPDATE: SESSION CLOSED

We've heard your demands to bring back out popular crowd sourcing posts. Unfortunately, we had to stop doing them months ago because we were overwhelmed with submissions and lacked the manpower to keep up (Mac the Intern is illiterate). But they've always been our favorite posts and we're going to try to bring them back every other Thursday.

Today, simply snap a photo of the item to your immediate left. For better or worse this will be your only weapon for the impending zombie apocalypse.


Instead, Send the photo to chiveonthursday [at] gmail [dot] com.

Bob, Mac, and myself will be fielding your submissions and posting them as they arrive. Check back to see your weapons of choice. Chive On!

SESSION CLOSED Please stop 😦


  • Work is Daily


    • holla

      like OMG..really, no wayyyyyyyyyy…FIRST?!?! congrats..ur life must be complete.

      • Work is Daily

        Holla!! Your funny. I can’t wait for your blowjob tonight. If it was anything like last night your in for another late night snack

        • gravely

          sorry dude, but if you think claiming "first" is anything but lame there is no hope for you. Insulting the people who call you on it just makes you look lamer

    • Chive SUCKS

      This whole section is ultra-dumb.

      • idiot

        # 47 brick where did you get a hand grenade

        • idiot


    • Ryan

      #37-I didnt know Chaz Bono was a Chiver

  • Wolfpack Steve

    Lotion…. Nice!

    • Underbaker

      Damn, too slow to show everyone my zombie killing desk fan.

    • gravely

      yeah those zombies have terrible skin

  • http://thechive.com/ bkfrijoles

    I got the same God Damn lamp FUCK

  • AssClown

    #6 Zombies will get fucked…hard…without any serious chafing…

    • Flip Wilson

      cracked me up…

    • swamp

      Necrophilia goes both ways

    • Commando00

      I was really expecting to see a bottle of Astroglide next to a screen somewhere…….

    • Edmund

      It looks like the action figure is leaning over laughing.

  • https://www.facebook.com/colorsthatendinurple Lauren Gentile

    #8 The weapon of ultimate cuteness. Does the trick every time.

    • MikeBedlam

      Mine's loyalties could easily be swayed by food. And cuddles. Treacherous minx.

    • B Hatch

      That would certainly work for you

    • Rabblerabble

      Where you at paula?



      • Dick Salad

        EMF waves bro

  • dalexmu

    just sent my pic!

    • Jules-CO

      Sent mine in when there were only 35 pics…Didn't make it…. ):

  • reaperMEDIC

    #9 that's not a fucking transformer LOL

  • Mr. T

    Damnit… bar-code scanner with 5 ft cord… Maybe I can hang myself.

  • Robin

    #20 could be very useful 😉

  • luckyB

    first time submitting a pic…hope i make it up here haha. these are hilarious btw

  • MikeBedlam

    #20 We're saved!!!

    • FarleyMinarly


  • cory

    Good to see another finance Chiver. MLO?

    • FarleyMinarly

      HP 12C! The best!

    • Cutch

      Finance guy also, submitted #38 nothing to do with finance but great for cracking zombie heads.

      • yarr

        Or fisting one.

    • whochiver

      Got my HP12c in my desk drawer. Sadly on the right of my computer screen…. Chive On!

    • BiGGyT

      Just to be a geek, it might be an 11C scientific calculator instead of 12C, because it looks silver, not gold. Personally, I have a 19BII.

      • ARRRRR

        its gold. trust me. HP 12c FTFW!

    • ARRRRR

      yep. mlo.

    • keoni_slice

      whats the NPV of a zombie attack?

  • m0j0

    For me its a bottle of Bols Strawberry Liquer, so at least i`l be able to get wasted before i die.

  • Joel

    #20 you my friend rule

    • RTW

      too true!

  • Dean
  • lisa

    Juice broken, toy truck and a little cup.

  • John

    #3 bullshit

    • Si1entStatic

      Agreed it's obviously pointing to the red stocking in front of the rifle. Tough Break….

    • http://twitter.com/jaimehayes @jaimehayes

      Thats where I actually keep it. I put it up there for a joke and it never came down. It will go in a case when my lazy ass gets around to it.

  • OhSomeEvil


    I'll welcome our new zombie overlords and enjoy a tasty drink.

    • Dennis


  • gecko2012

    Works for me!!!!

    • Dennis

      But what of the rest of her?

    • its_forge

      They all stop, staring at the boobies, and then you just walk behind them and lop off all their heads. Done deal.

    • MonkeyMadness

      I'd give it a go.

  • Bman

    Uhmm reaperMEDIC, that is a transformer… Haha maybe not an autobot or any bullshit like that, but that’s a 33kv ground bank

    • Si1entStatic

      if only it has 1.2 jigga watts then you and Doc could just skip the zombie apocalypse completely…..

      • Fuse

        The only thing that can generate 1.21 jigga watts is a bolt of lightning!

        • Mr. Correcto Mundo

          I bet your mom can generate 1.21 jigga watts, either her or Jay Z, jigga WHAT?

  • banana flapjacks

    can i use her nipples too?

    • Fuse

      I think I will become a zombie



    • The_Dood

      Thank god. Come back when you have something humorous to bring to the table.

      • CHIPBUTY


  • 501

    Way to go and take a picture of yourself.

  • GetAtMe

    not sure if I get number 12…. try again please 🙂

    • Commando00

      Maybe gonna run them over with his car…….(?) I was thinking it was a cop at first but they don't drive Acuras LOL

    • Dennis

      Sun in their eyes, going to make them squint.

    • JHL1

      The passenger has an iPhone and took a pic of what was immediately to their left – the steering wheel.

    • Ben

      Its his car dear.

  • Tim Vergeer

    All I got is this stupid red Swingline stapler… wait a sec!

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