Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

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  • Bill

    First!

    • https://www.facebook.com/tim.posta Tim Posta

      damn you're a loser Bill

      • Bill

        And hate makes you ugly Tom! (So there!)

        • Bill

          Ooopps. Sorry, Tim (and you're still ugly).

        • DaddyD

          No hate. A simple statement of fact.

    • BabyFarts Magizax

      your def not bill f**#ing murray, he would never say that

      • http://iamawesome.com/ NeelsvanPK

        *You're

    • Ken

      #29 – definitely LOVE and definitely SEX

  • Terrance_

    #10…I'm confused as to how this guy thought this was going to work. Also by the strangely "chill" reaction of his friends.

    • PKP 725

      I know if I saw that I would be laughing my ass off.

      • Terrance_

        Agreed. Probably an initial fear of "holy shit did that just happen?" Followed by nervous laughter…followed by more and more laughter.

    • LucretiusCarus

      Or perhaps they all knew from the start it was going to be a total fail and that was the point.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      I'm as graceful as Ninjahhhhh SHIT SPLASH

    • BType13X2

      When one hangs out with a truly special idiot you can only react so often to stuff like this before you become numb to it.

      • ObiOne

        i dont understand how his friends down there are keeping there cool.. my sides would be splitting from all the laughter if i seen my pal bust his shit like that.. seems possibly fake for that reason

      • Swarley

        Touché.

  • IceColdBuddha

    #3

    Come with us if you want to die!

    • Guse

      This picture seems like a good place for the "No Time to Explain, Get in the Car" meme.

      • http://twitter.com/PrivateEyes141 @PrivateEyes141

        First thing I thought: "Worst. Carpool. Ever."

    • BruthaV

      Nothing my Remington 870 Express Tactical (7 + 1) loaded with double aught (00) buck couldn't handle. Great zombie gun. Of course, I would have my Taurus PT 1911 loaded with 230 grain HP ammo with me for back-up.

    • dominantone

      Picture taken right before they entered the bank.

    • KyleGamgee

      Are they employees on their way to Horror Nights at Universal Studios Hollywood?

    • Junior teddy

      Road trip!

  • Matt

    #7, you sneaky mom…

    • Amirite

      How to get prime Voyeur shots: Lesson 1

    • Ken

      Was the caption all that necessary?

    • I_am_golf_c0m

      Kinda hot in these …. swans

    • Jimmy Kimmel

      Not sure if anyone else gets this but the caption is the best part.

      • dyslexia

        2 + 2 = ….. 5!!!!
        you were so close!

  • hater

    #6. Clever girl.

    • THT

      except that's a T-Rex, not a raptor . . .

      • Navyadam

        Still an AWESOME reference. Thumb down for Captain Obvious.

  • BabyFarts Magizax

    #29 is what i wake up for

    • good jeff

      find her!

    • DaddyD

      There's a difference?

      • Amon a

        yeah love is where u can sex more then once and see her every day of ur life. sex is a one night stand

        • Chris

          I like how you were downvoted lol

        • DDD

          Sex , she leaves in morning ………. Love you take her to bed bath and beyond next morning to shop for towels, and its gonna take all day saturday…

          • TheAutomaticMan

            i think that might be worth it…. Bed bath and beyond could quit being a bunch of dicks though and appeal to a male audience…… i mean, how hard can it be to put a tool section in?

  • Jedidiah

    #27

    AIM FOR THE … Flat top?

    • dashete

      Ray, if 2Pac asks if you're a gangster, you say "YES!"

      • Jedidiah

        Definitely better than mine! haha!

        • Travis

          Humbled response = +1

      • http://4chan.org/b gnocco

        +1 internet

    • ObiOne

      flat top? thats 2pac. not vanilla ice

  • etcrr

    #1" A" for effort

    • fuckoffetcrr

      You get an A in being a retard.

    • Slim Jim

      my germs.

    • StaticFX

      A for effort? how about trophy for winning.

      • tkc

        I asked a friend of mine who is a US bike race official and he says the guy in yellow wins. "The definition of the finish of a bicycle race is the leading edge for the front wheel crossing the plane of the finish line."

        • JHL1

          What does a French bike race official say?

          • JHL1

            (other than "we surrender" that is)

    • The Buddha

      #1 "FIRST!"
      velodrome racing is awesome

    • Ned_Plimpton

      You should write movies reviews etcrr….

      "I liked 'Transformers' because it was good."

      • Idiot

        You should STFU cause You're an iiot

        • StickyWickets

          idiot*

        • Hahaha

          Stan, you're dangerously close to dropping below the retard line.

    • et cetera

      A for Asinine

    • Not a fan

      This is a funny picture. pffft

    • They call me Bruce

      and etcrr is for retard squared, etc

    • June Carter

      D for dicknozzle

  • Vic

    #29 hah…

    • LukeSkywalker

      While there is no wrong answer, both is definitely the right answer.

  • BabyFarts Magizax

    #12 bahahah, gang bang

    • DaddyD

      Gang blow

      • douche

        blow bang

    • Dude

      Fat chicks give the best blow jobs

  • dashete

    #11 You know you look stupid when gingers are laughing at you.

    • https://www.facebook.com/SnowtoriousB.I.G Morten Der Alte Norup

      I see no gingers, only redheads….

    • Vanilla Gorilla

      I would like to plug his breathing tube.

  • MattKL

    #19 That's awesome. Hello new background!

    • Dave

      Enjoy your pixels

    • Pietro

      in HQ please???

  • ugh

    #10 ahahahahhahahahahahahaha. #30 West Edmonton Mall? Beaut costume.

    • Anon

      Yah definitely the mall. Jumped there twice but I didn't think the go as Buzz…

    • Buzz

      Not flying, falling with style!

    • Jonathan

      *Beau

      • ugh

        no.

    • Gleiberkid

      Yup it is at WEM. I think I might go again in the costume with the wings extended.

      • Jason

        where did you get that suit? im from edmonton as well. i need a suit like that for my sisters wedding in disneyland.

        • Gleiberkid

          I made it for Halloween this year. I was Ironman last year and Bumblebee before that (which I won $5000 and got to meet Jenna Jameson with) and Bender before that.

          • Jason

            how did you make that? that is insane. how much did it cost?

    • Duffer17

      West Edmonton Mall of Edmonton.

  • billthedill

    #29 I WANT MOAR!

  • Rollout25

    #27 So does that mean they Imagined a 500ft tall Biggie Smalls?

    • Anonymous

      Just Ray.

    • Kenny

      Nerd mode: activated. The Stay Puft Marshmallow man was 100 ft. tall. Not 500. But still, that would be funny to see.

    • Dmac

      That would qualify him as "really biggie smalls".

  • steve

    #3 iron man?

    • Scotsman

      I thought it was a possessed Waldorf (one of the Old Guys from the muppets).

    • jaynecobb2

      I think it is Iron Monger

  • http://backrowheckling.tumblr.com/tagged/writing Chowdahr

    #19 Someone defeated a Highlander.

    • tapsnapornap

      A whole gang of them, and out at sea no less!

    • Dr_StrangePants

      I've always wondered:
      what happens to all the fish near that lightning strike?
      …and just how far doe the electricity spread out in the water?

      • DaddyD

        Fish get fried.

    • tralfaz

      There can be only one.

  • hud

    you are the worst

  • John Kenny

    Wow…#1 is the physical representation of all the assholes who write "FIRST" every time they post on a website before someone else! Even if they're just barely there before the rest because of luck! HA! 😀

    • Gotta be fresh.

      I just farted.

    • firsty

      It's not LUCK we get there first – it's having no dignity, little life, few friends, a fast internet connection, and the ability to reload a screen without missing a beat.

      It also helps to understand around the usual time they post things – for example, around the time I wake up next to my very sexy wife Amanda (a former model and current sexpot) I go to my computer and get ready to go. If it's around 7:30am my time (Eastern Standard) then The Chive's time is a few hours before – so whomever is not dead drunk is likely posting a few more things before leaving for the night. Hence Bob's frequent posts when I am just waking up.

  • RandomTask09

    #29: First sex; you can love her after for having sex with you.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Wisest thing I've heard all morning

  • RandomTask09

    #23: Admit it, this is what you do (want to do) when you shop with your girlfriend.

    • http://whatmovieshouldiwatch.wordpress.com/ mhuard5

      It seems Al Davis only went into hibernation

    • fed

      what i want to do when i go shopping with my girlfriend is bring that chair in the changing room, put on "nightcrawler" by ac/dc, a drink in my hand, a cigar in the other, and enjoy the show.

      • fed

        * "Night Prowler"

      • 16inchzipper

        Classy.

  • roKz

    first

    ha I'll never come back to this stupid page suckas all the thumbs down you want you cheesey vaginas

    • Anonymous

      Bet you come back to check how many thumbs down you got.

    • bzazz

      I thumbed you up. I do what I want.

    • bob

      I gave him a thumbs up, too. We are all winners! C 'mon people now! Chip in! Give 'em a thumbs up!

  • thankyou

    More funny/interesting pics and less sluts please ,the internet has tons of porn ,we (the non douche/nerds) come here to get entertained not to fap.

    • Julien

      #2 is the only sexual related one in this one so you obviously didn't look at the photos you just posted that because you saw the first page wasn't full.

      Also the term "slut" is not an appropriate thing to say. We don't know anything about most these women

      • Julien

        and thats even more about the cat

    • john long

      we the non douche/nerds? idiot.

    • Shawn

      Not everyone who likes looking at beautiful women wants to fap to them. Thanks for stereotyping, by the way.

    • Dr. Fap

      @thankyou- Thank you for your comments

    • drea619

      thanks for calling us chivettes SLUTS you DOUCHE BAG!!!!!

      FYI——-> ONLY DOUCHE BAGS think its ok to use that word when referencing a woman so your point in invalid

      • Zip it

        Shut your mouth you filthy whore.

    • Brian

      I come here to fap.

  • typicalwhores

    #12 Must be chivettes.

    • Tim

      Must be idiots, I think you mean.
      Chivettes aren't dumb.

      • bobby

        yes. they might be stupid, but they definitely aren't dumb.

    • Red

      oh I get it, your comment name is in honor of your sister….

    • Wrong

      way too skinny to be chivettes

  • Lossie

    #25
    I might feel bad….except he had the 400,000 to spend on it in the first place

    • DLJ

      It's a Lamborghini Aventador.

    • Hutch

      He didn't wreck it. It caught fire during a test drive from some malfunction. Also this Aventador is much more expensive than 400k

      • F3n1x187

        Little over a million an not the first it burns on a test drive

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