Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

  • Shitcago Blackcocks

    first

    • Hater

      Scandalous bitch!

    • Tom

      It's not funny. It's not clever.

      • tweit

        Really? Thanks for your input on this serious matter.

    • Ian

      Just cuz you say first doesn't mean your cool sport

  • anderwpeg

    #15 'merica fuck ya

    • 6655321

      Where drag queens roam free. That dude was on Project Runway. I mean I think. Because my girlfriend made me watch it.

      • Herb

        Sure she did, now if you'll hand your Mancard over for review.

        • DaddyD

          For confiscation. Three strikes:
          1. Watched the show.
          2. Because his GF made him.
          3. Admitted it in public.

          A real man would have claimed quid pro quo for butt sex.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=596932485 Warren Coe Meadows

      Kill it! Kill it with fire!

    • tony

      I believe #15 is located in Portland, OR. There is a popular drag queen club called Darcelles. Luckily I've never wonder woman in that par of town.

      • Bigbearsf

        That's Chris Marsh from Project Runway. It was taken in San Francisco on 16th Street outside of what used to be Joseph (no too sure of the spelling of his last name) Schmits Chocolates

    • seussalot

      Could. Not. Stop. Laughing.

    • https://www.facebook.com/Sirocka Geoffrey Seroka

      Actually…Wonder Woman was Greek…guess the Euro crash isn't hitting her so bad…

    • DaveStinson316

      It's Wonder What The Fuck Woman!

  • confused

    #29 what is step 1?

    • Logic?

      Step 1: Drink half the glass?

    • lutjiano

      Fill it with vodka

    • John Kenny

      Unless you're a nihilist, then the glass may be full, but not with anything worth drinking.

      • bearjew

        Nihilists? Fuck me… I mean, say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

      • codeblue

        Metaphysical Nihlist*

    • Witchlover

      Somebody f'd it up. It should say "half" instead of "glass". They start by telling you to forget exactly what they tell you in the end.

    • Olaf_Skrelnick

      Realize the truth: there is no glass.

    • Hugh Jorgan

      Step 1 – Cut a hole in the box

      • bubba

        step 2 – put your dick in the box

        • Always Last

          Then get on a mutha fukkin boat!!!!!!!!

    • Amigo

      I've never understood this half full half empty argument… It's really simple imo.

      If you have an empty glass and fill it half way with beer, it's half full or "filled"
      If someone gives you a full glass of beer and you drink (empty or spill) half of it, it's half empty.

      It's nothing to do with optimism or pessimism, it has to do with what you started with.

      If you put your beer down at a party and someone drinks it you're gunna be like "what the fuck, my beers half gone". If you put your cup down and someone fills it you'll be like "thanks!" Stop being so philosophical about the whole thing.

      • Cantaloupe

        The only thing that was a bigger waste of time than reading your comment was writing this one.

        • Amigo

          whatever, it's slow at work so I'm technically getting paid to write it.

          • TDub66

            Go take a half-naked pic of yourself from the bathroom and send it to theBerry

  • Matt

    What? No gratuitous humps to start our morning off? Chive, Chive, Chive…

    • Matt

      Wait, this got MINUS votes? You mean, people are HAPPY that there aren't any Chivettes in the DMA this morning?

      • ICUP

        It seems if you make a comment on a post, and its not about a picture within that post, you get a crap load of thumbs down. You could literally post the cure for Aids here, but if you don't reference it to a pic, you'll get a shit load of thumbs down and some douchebags telling you to go complain somewhere else, stop crying and all that sort of shit. So in the future, to avoid a thumbs down, pick a picture to add to your comment, then post your cure for Aids. #20 equals mind blown!

        • DrROBOTO

          theres 3 billion great porn sites out there. this is one of few good comedy sites. Keep sticking to comedy chive

    • twoedges

      make your own website that starts off every morning with gratuitous humps… then everyone will give you a thumbs up every day.. then at the end of the day you can take all those thumbs and shove them up your ass.

  • 2Dogs

    #4
    THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • RealZoo

      Looks like Good Son, Bad Son.

    • Rolo Tomasi

      I feel a parent of the year award…

    • eboo

      I hate Facebook moms. They are the worst.

      • Guest or login

        You had me at "I hate Facebook"

        • TDub66

          Here, here!

  • kingsfan34

    #15 Good to see Mimi for "The Drew Carey Show" is doing well.

    • tralfaz

      …and fighting crime.

  • Shawn

    First

    • shawn of the deaa

      so closs

      • Rudz

        And so close with the rebuttal burn

  • BigPup

    #17 fuggin sweet! THAT'S how you pick up bitches on acid!

    • tralfaz

      DYNAMO!!!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1331103966 Spencer Anderson

    This will teach you to eat my snack pack #4

  • Hbk Adrian

    #5 who wants a mustache ride?!?!

    • ewdeziel

      did anyone else think for a second that his dong was hanging out his pant leg?

      • Simon

        Yes. Yes I did.

    • dexterX

      just another reason to hate hipsters

      • kevguy

        you shouldn't be hating anybody.

    • ZRT6

      #5, who cares about the chest hair, WTF is with those shorts?

      • Habsy

        Or what's coming out of them? EEK

    • badbad

      its like a mustache with titties, hell yah!

    • Jon

      The only acceptable example of manscaping.

  • Logicyup

    #30 The pope jet? And here I thought that little glass bubble car he rides around in was nifty.

    • Snake

      its a church its a plane its churchplane!

    • Herb

      That's the 700 club starfighter from South Park.

    • Obvious Joke Says Hi

      pew pew pew

    • TDub66

      Now my neck hurts, dammit!

  • phoenixpwns

    #29 In other words, KCCO!

  • RandomTask09

    Did anyone click on the Chive homepage and get "SEO Monster analysis" for theChive?

  • sad chiver.

    comes to view 30 original photos…. leaves having already seen 25 of them earlier on Reddit.

    • Boobies

      Cool story, bro.

    • insane2U

      than go away and stay there

    • Blownapart

      Next time come here first. That way you get to see all thirty here first and there won't be any need to waste any time elsewhere!

    • Babaganoosh

      The fuck you doin on reddit anyway?

    • saveferris1007

      Go to the Chive first from now on, then go to Reddit and post the same comment for them. I bet you get the same amount of fucks given with it.

      • F3n1x187

        Have a thumbs up sir!

    • SMT

      Reddit is for sissy girls!

      • Scuba Steve

        So you troll the internet. Good job. Now for the majority of us who don't have time to go through the countless number of image posting sites, we resort to TheChive.

    • http://twitter.com/mayerjacoby @mayerjacoby

      YUP THANK YOU

  • kelly

    #6 – it's all fun and games til someone gets wedged under a submerged rock.

    • random_dude

      thats why only pros can surf at the eisbach in munich! epic to watch.

      • Goldfinger

        Id rather be at the Hofbrauhaus.

        • Adam

          That place fuckin rules!

  • MRab

    #27 DOO SOMETHING!!

    • Anon

      Toad version of this guy

    • Random

      Aww, I was gonna post the same exact thing.

    • SMACKDADDYSUPREME

      Bro came at him.

    • Underbaker

      FINISH HIM!!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002268404979 Tam Reevooh

      must've softened 'em up with a hadouken, first.

  • PKP 725

    #20 She's going for the World Series ring.

    • RealZoo

      It's the girl from the movie, The Grudge…….or it could be Paula!!!

      • Shrimpsss

        It's the girl from the ring… hence the comment about world series "ring"

      • http://www.thechive.com AdamBaldick

        hang your head in shame

  • ewdeziel

    #25 That and they never change the damned toilet paper rolls!

    • _me

      Shit, my wife STILL doesn't do that.

    • KayakAggie

      And they shit on your chest when you sleep. Wait…….

  • sof

    #5 impressive mustash, but i think your junk is hanging out!

    • AmBush_Steve

      Thanks for pointing that out. NOT. Unless of course you're a female, I've got bad news for you….

  • dingher3389

    #4 I told u I was born first for a reason!

  • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

    #18 The floor is lava!

    • reaperMEDIC

      I immediately heard the Mission Impossible theme song when I saw this.

    • this guy

      that squirrel is having the time of his life. look at that fucking smile!

    • JohnD

      Training for the Tough Mudder!

    • guest

      Colorado Squirrels, they know how to have fun.

  • miliano2.0

    #22 is that the 10th doctor?

    • http://theadventuresofjim.wordpress.com/ theAdventuresOfJim

      it sure is

    • http://www.facebook.com/B1ackf0x1233 Stephen Booth

      its david tennant yes

      • bob

        Yep and he's a bit of a twat.

  • nightshift29

    #17 its the opera singing guy from the arnold schwartzanager movie "running man"

  • MattKL

    #19 Nice!

    • Matt

      Where can I buy one????

      • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730927320 Caleb Todd

        make it yourself… its called DIY for a reason

        • OhSomeEvil

          agreed, I will start working on this tonight! good call.

  • Oregon_country

    #15 Wish i could unsee this.

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