Daily Morning Awesomeness (35 Photos)

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  • Rusty Shackleford

    #12 In what fucking way, on what fucking planet, did you think that was going to work? Fuckin dipshit

    • Benji07

      I used to work in retail Loss Prevention. The amount of stuff people stuffed in their pants was staggering.
      Depending on the situation sometimes you don't get to recover the items until the Police arrived and cuffed them. (example: The dumbass resists arrest and is pinned down by LP or the store clerk until Police arrive, which is likely what happened here)

    • theDtrain

      Isn't that Skrillex? The cop's telling him to 'drop the bass'.

      • Kahless

        Not only did this guy try to steal that, but it was the SECOND TIME he tried it, at the SAME store. Got tossed in jail for a year or something, then got out and did the exact same friggin thing.

        • ears

          any idea where hes from??

          • techno_viking

            Narnia.

      • amazed

        Good one

    • Biggus Diccus

      Guitar Zero

    • Looters

      or maybe he's just happy to see me….

    • BlueLizzardGame

      I think he loves the cock…. I meant rock!

    • Red

      What a zero this idiot is. Dude has no chance at life, should just end it now.

    • chiver

      rock out with your cock out buddy!

    • caleb

      Nickelback's final straw?

  • JJJ

    #11 – I'd probably marry her, too.

    • smallchinaman

      Give it a year, you won't be able to recognize it.

    • http://www.thechive.com AdamBaldick

      I love brides.. its a double edged sword

    • Underbaker

      So your a bigamist?

    • garth

      scwhing!

  • hater

    #27. Your virginity's safe in that gaming console. Rest assured.

  • hater

    #27. Your virginity's safe in that chair. Rest assured.

    • Felcus

      Five gears of raw, powerful, unhindered virginity.

  • Anonymous

    Chive on from Newfoundland!

  • Ahmed

    #32 is potentially the best GIF ever.

    • Josh

      Fucking awesome!

    • IronMan

      You need to watch this http://www.vidaddict.com/weird-drink-commercial/
      it's the full commercial. So much better with the music!

      • http://www.facebook.com/wesley.ricketts Wesley Ricketts

        Thank you sir for bringing this to my attention, I laughed so hard

    • NateDangerous

      Here's an hour long YouTube version of the GIF:

  • NFLD ROCKS

    Chive on from Newfoundland!

  • pingpong

    #11 lucky bastard….

    • The Truth

      … and bet the farm he's already tired of it. Welcome to the game. She probably hasn't rocked something like that since the wedding day, put on fifteen and now stumbles to be in his t-shirt and boxers. Ahh, marriage.

  • http://marcussam.com/blog/ marcussam

    #30 Awesome monkey…!

    • Chiver9999

      he should have checked the downstairs hair

    • Museic

      Hope she enjoys the HIV

      • Woop

        i was just thinking that. Dont let those dirty things touch you. They've been scooping poop all day.

    • Underbaker

      I guess he liked what he saw, because in the last photo that is monkey talk for you're mine now bitch.

  • jchenabc

    #33 what a badass ! or 3 badasses ? counting the pilots

    • Oops

      No, just one….The other guy bailed and left this guy to bring both down on a dare.

  • JJJ

    #30 I approve of this 'monkey-business'

  • sledneck600

    There is a serious lack of beautiful women here but at least they found spongebob and his damn pineapple
    #29

  • Gustopher

    #12 Nailed it… almost.

  • doug dino

    #30 that would be me, if i was a monkey.

    • Jack o' lantern

      *if I were

  • http://www.facebook.com/eeeeevie Evelyn Rodriguez

    I expect more hot girl posts today… unlike yesterday.

  • Quasi

    #7

    "Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet." – Bob Marley

    • friend

      She's probably going to feel a shark pretty soon

  • Ander

    better rack!

    • r@f

      Just like guys, check out under the skirt, the boobs, slap her face then pull her hair.

      That'll do monkey.

  • etcrrsucks

    stfu etcrr

    • etcrr

      You are definitely the biggest dumbass on the planet., Paramoid much?

      • etcrr

        paranoid that is don't ya hate typos? lmao

  • Richard

    I'd love to know why the police were called and the guy was cuffed before the guitar was taken from his pants. Fake much?

    • techno_viking

      Or maybe so everyone else can see how big of a jackass he is…

  • gray

    I'd have to see her kitchen skills first

  • passwordistaco

    #25 You left out Elaine Benez

  • passwordistaco

    #25 You left out Elaine Benes

    • nuccabay

      i concur with little kicks and tom jones

  • ThePatriot

    why? after marriage the sex stops… trust me on that

    • Frisky Chivette

      I've been married 8 years. I'd say the sex is deffinately a lot hotter and better now. Sex after marriage only stops if you don't explore new stuff or just become a selfish prick.

      • Woop

        For the woman

      • chicago

        You're a fun one and probably let's the daily stress roll off quickly. I did, ex-w didn't. Seeking new sexy time ideas means you two do well on bad days. 8yrs+ means you both don't hold grudges either. You're both incredibly lucky from that. not just about sex either, but it really helps! 😉 your understanding is different from the women, and ex-wife, I've met. stay this way. raise your kids with same level of understanding to help them live happy lives. I wish I met you. that's all, bye~

        • DrGarnicus

          Rock on!

        • Frisky Chivette

          Thanx for the advise 🙂 The husband and I just mesh well together. We have this unspoken agreement that he does the man stuff and I do the house/wifely duties and my job. We agree on a lot of stuff. Yeah ofcourse we fight but that just means we are going to have awesome make up sex later on.

          • chicago

            sure rub it in. my wish still stands. :p you 2 stay happy. bye~

    • Trust me

      no no no no. Youre doing it all wrong. Sex doesn't have to stop after marriage. All you have to do is talk to her about everything, listen to her talk about everything, shower her with compliments, buy her weekly miscellaneous gifts, work 40+ hours a week, stay in shape, maintain the house exterior and yard, contribute to the indoor chores as well, do all the manly heavy lifting and big things, spend time with the children, romance her all day (remember, Cosmo says love-making begins hours before the bedroom), give her 10-20 minutes of foreplay, don't forsake oral sex even though you'll most likely receive one blowie per year on your birthday, resign yourself to the fact that she will never try the sex tips she reads about in her magazines every month, and generally have the attitude that you have to "win her over" every day. Do this and you'll have steady sex even after marriage.

    • guest

      Wow, I'm glad my marriage doesn't suck! Sounds like a lot of bad relationships, except for Frisky Chivette that is.

    • dave

      12 yrs for me and it's hotter than ever, you're doing something wrong Patriot.

  • anotherchiver

    #11 I do too

  • Andy

    I doubt he attempted this in between classes for his MBA

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