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  • wantomas

    Amazing that she gets to bang Portia De Rossi!

    • Daniel Tosh

      so… who goes on top?

      • Nick

        Who cares? Portia is hot.

        • Jen

          they do the scissors, they're both on their side. DUH!

          • Nick

            good call on that one…. Daniel Tosh, has a boyfriend, gay dudes can't scissor, Daniel Tosh is now jealous. that is all…. I wonder if that's the real Tosh…..

            • Daniel Tosh

              i usually stand and sword fight side to side. yes im the real Daniel Tosh #HighFashion

              • Jen

                those kicks that you have been wearing make me want to punch you in the fucking face, daniel.

              • Nick

                Let's be honest, you would lose the sword fight every time therefore you resort to tongue punching your opponent's fart box. No?

                • redstick

                  Seems we have a whole panel of experts in gaydom today! Lucky old us!

    • redstick

      And you won't — ever.

    • socket2me

      she does ? Portia De Rossi is so FUCKING HOT ! In Arrested Development at least

  • iphone

    first

    • Sean

      I just have to say, the chip exists. Pita chips + guacamole is perfect. More crunch cause its thicker but same taste. That is all.

  • Misfit7734

    Can i pre order those chips online?

    • B-rad

      if apple made them, you probably would.

    • PBinAZ

      Is there a line I could wait in for days on end for said chips??

    • Canucks_Rule

      hahahaha touche!!

  • F16Chiver

    If you look closely you can see it's actually a lesbian..

    • JESSE

      Who cares? and yes I'm voting for Romney

      • ConstableDubs

        May god have mercy on your soul.

        • JESSE

          I don't believe in God.

          • Adam

            Funny then that you plan on voting for a guy who believes he will become a god and populate it with his spirit children with his wife (just like God did with Earth).

            • JESSE

              As opposed to a man who already thinks he is God, or at least some kind of prophet whose aim is to divide the country along political and economic lines. Funny I don't remember reading that Mitt's Facebook profile. I find it interesting though that so many Regressives are anti-Christianity yet deify a person whose only promise is "hope" or "forward." These are also promises that he seems as unable to fulfill as his promise for transparency. Leftist iconography of this man smacks so much of Hitler and his National German Socialist Party that I actually begin to sympathize with "prepers;" people who until recently I thought to have lost their grip on reality. But you Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow are right, as long as the left continues to thrust ridicule and hate onto individuals, i.e. conservatives, (and no that does not include me) you don't fully understand eventually you will get your way. Congratulations your are a child who has been rewarded for bad behavior, YOUR future children would be proud.

              • Basaltman

                I think you have a valid point about Obama, Hitler and the Nazis, because I see all of the signs that at any moment Obama is going to exterminate the Jews and invade Canada. Your grip on reality is gone.

                • JESSE

                  I do have a valid point, and you missed it.

      • Davis

        And I'm voting for Ron Paul…your point?

        • Who cares

          Wasted vote

          • Child Please

            It's better than being forced to vote for either of these guys. Someone doing what they actually want to do isn't a waste. It's freedom.

            • MattyDeuce

              Who is forcing anyone to vote? We get like 50% turnout…it's embarassing.

          • JOHN

            all you're doing is diluting the voting pool so this asshole can get elected again. save your principles (which in general I happen to agree with) for an election that won't determine whether or not we have a 2nd Civil War.

            • jvinnyhall

              roflcopter

              Seriously? Is that how paranoid right-wing Republicans have become? That they think the re-election of Obama will herald the second Civil War?

              What a fucking dick you are. Leave the elections to the adults, please.

              • JOHN

                no you're absolutely right, you are an adult who chose to insult me twice, although you tried to make it three times by redundantly calling me a "right-wing Republican" instead of refuting the possibility. You are welcome to learn how rhetoric works by consulting the education section of Amazon.com or you can simply continue to bitch about how unfair life is. Sorry that all those greedy corporations, like the Wahl corporation that gave you that haircut or the iPhone you are using to respond to this message. Go back to your cushy government job job that gives you more in benefits and wages than a private sector worker, or better yet a private sector employer whose hand is held to the flame if he or she does bleed everything for your salary then face ridicule from the media for being a money-hungry sycophant. You risk nothing and bitch about inequality when the opportunity has been there all along. Two words bro: Ayn Rand. If you ever had the stones to open a company that produces something, and no I'm not talking about a thieving law-firm or an IT office, you might actually see what angers so many of those close-minded-right-wingers are concerned about. Have fun with crippling inflation and having to wake up every morning with a "hello Mr. Charrington." Double plus good. Guess what homes, you keep wanting the big G to siphon off more from the producers, giving Washington more and more power, what do you think is going to happen when all that power has been consolidated and your savior is no longer in office? Why don't you give a grenade belt to a chimp and let him free in a busy metropolis? roflcopter yourself "sir"

        • JESSE

          Simply because Obama came out in support of gay marriage, doesn't change my vote. I absolutely support gay marriage but the POTUS seeks to enslave people that drive the economy. If this one issue drives your decision, then you need to take a look at the world and see how fiscal stability allows for social equality. See: the driving force of every genocide in history.

          • JethroD

            Congrats! You've made the dumbest post on the internet!

            • JESSE

              My history degree would say otherwise. this is called a "line of reasoning." your iq is too sub-par to follow it. stick to your duplos and keep fucking the world into idiocy.

              • getarealdegree

                hahahahaha, history degree? Even a sheet of bathroom paper has more of a purpose than a history majors diploma. Go take a bath hippy. Also, take some math classes while you're up.

                • JESSE

                  History was the strongest major I could choose when I transferred. And you're welcome to criticize me after while I'm performing a breast augmentation on your wife. I'm in med school chief.

      • Ilikepie

        All peoples votes are invalid the only time you make the right choice when voting is when you vote for chuck norris.

    • Noobcake

      Lol @F16's comment

    • Ron Burgondy

      Well that escalated quickly…

      • TNchiver

        Took the words right out of my mouth! This whole string of comments should be in the "escalated quickly" post. This is theChive people. Take your political argument bullshit elsewhere, we don't need it here! KCCO

    • ChiveOn

      iPhone huh? Welp, see ya later.

  • YOYO

    #4 she would know she has eaten enough tacos!!!

    • Lacy

      Reaching a bit for that one? ๐Ÿ˜›

      • Chiver

        nope

    • no doors

      HEEYYOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!

    • Denver Chiver

      • Vent187

        Lol, perfect reference.

      • redstick

        Well, that was refreshing in a pointless sort of way.

    • socalmarti

      And sometimes I come just for the comments!!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Billy

        thats what she said

    • TRP

      boom roasted

    • walker

      I noticed Sony is the page sponser for the chive today, conspiracy!

  • bh4q

    uhhh ya.. most riveting post of the day…

    • BamBam
    • Roderick

      If one were to actually use that thing between their ears they would discover this post is actually quite riveting and thought provoking.

      You could actually ask yourself a question like, why is our society so materialistic and conceited? or, what the fuck, she's right. I want a fucking chip that can endure my dipping fantasies, where is it, science?

  • N2MotoX

    All I gotta say is she's a lot better than Rosie Odonnel when is comes to lesbians! Just Sayin'

    • redstick

      Ah, ah, ah! No more "just saying", remember? And you were doing so well!

      • M.C.

        I wish i could give you more thumbs up.

  • bones

    I have a belly button

    • Chiver

      We all have belly buttons. And we all love YooHoo, especially YooHoo with a little rum

      • loves sammiches

        Rumpelstiltskin?!?!

        • Chiver

          Rumplestiltskin was a good man.

      • The_Dood

        I will occasionally make a white russian with YooHoo. I did it at Lebowskifest the first time I went. Drank half the YooHoo and filled it back up with Kahlua and vodka. I would've been 18 or so at the time, and when we went to go in the cop that was at the entrance told me I had to chug it or throw it away… With my low tolerance back then, I was feeling pretty good after that.

        • ALT

          Good story bro.

    • Big Poppa

      is it full of Guacamole?

  • BigPup

    She wears comfortable shoes…… and eats pussy.

    • Verbal_Kint

      Me too…

      • Yo Yo Ma

        Me three!

        Except my shoes pinch a little…

        and I suck cock.

    • Grape Victim

      Me four… except I pinch cock and my shoes suck

  • https://www.facebook.com/bathoris Nimai Pacheco

    my fave lesbian

  • http://apassionatelycuriouslife.wordpress.com A Passionately Curious Life

    Reblogged this on a passionately curious life and commented:
    truth.

    • Everyone

      Don't give a shit.

      • redstick

        …and yet, here you are!

  • navydudemanbro

    Apple products prove that you can sell the same shit to people by putting a different number on it

    • a-nom

      Case in point "The Hangover (soon to be) Trilogy"…ugh

      • The_Dood

        I never saw the sequel to verify, but someone told me that the word "again" is in every scene in the sequel. Wouldn't surprise me.

    • beerich

      MS products prove they can't sell anything.

  • Daniel Tosh

    I'll wait about a year before I get the iPhone 5. I bought me 3gs for $1.00 last year when I renewed my contract and that is no bullshit

    • Daniel Tosh

      and it does the same shit as an iphone 5; make calls, text, play angry birds, youtube, pornhub

      • Dan

        pft pornhub…. xvideos is where its at

        • Livin' Legend

          Redtube, son!

          • Daniel Tosh

            also BRAZZERS

        • Fappin It

          Pornhub has an android app ๐Ÿ™‚

    • jimmer nobody

      Damn straight I did the same thing. My friends said I was stupid for getting a 3gs, a dollar is a dollar.!!!

  • ESAD

    This was a stupit post …… I hate her and apple products… That is all

    • Daniel Tosh

      hater

    • Lunch_Box

      Fucking Hipsters!

    • lana

      You spelled stupid wrong

      • ESAD

        Lol …… That's funny shit

  • Thomas

    No one is forcing you to buy a new phone. So don't. And shut up.

  • jason walter

    <img src="http://storeshopnow.com/mm/imada/ns.jpg"/>the iphone 5 is really bad with battery I went galaxy s3 talktime is almost x3 and standby is almost x4
    galaxy s3 <img src="http://storeshopnow.com/mm/imada/sn2.jpg"/&gt;

    • Droid

      Galaxy S3 is the greatest phone ever made

      • VaderWRX

        True story

  • I love chemistry

    true story

  • Larry

    No such chip exist. But when It does i will surely buy them.

    • The Dallas Chivette

      Go to Texas, you'll find them here ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Larry

        Tortilla chip/chive meet up in Texas. I'll bring a couple extra kcco shirts…

        • The Dallas Chivette

          Sounds like a plan, I even work at a Mexican restaurant so we'll be rolling in chips!!!

          • Larry

            Pretty, Chivette, and works at/likes mexican food. Mother of God, i'm in love.

            • The Dallas Chivette

              lol, love Mexican food, I started working there part time as an excuse to eat it more ๐Ÿ˜› Though I must clarify this is Tex-Mex, which a beast of its own.

              • Larry

                Tex-Mex is good with me also.

  • Barrett D.

    Bow to our master bitches.

  • Ashley

    I love Ellen!

  • Dan

    eh i buy a new phone every other year…when my phone contract is up.

  • cornholio

    iphone 5 will take better pictures in the mirror. So we can see more gaps and humps in HD!!

    • Chiver

      Chive On!

    • TLN

      chivers ought to get a lumia 920

      • Cornholio

        How about a post for all the chivettes taking pictures with their new iphones. Even Ellen will see the beauty in it once it unfolds!

  • Brian

    can espn please take lou holtz off the air??? his voice makes me wanna make a lollipop of hair

  • marycallaghan

    preach it sista

  • Rosalie

    HOLY CRAP. will the chivers stop being so judgmental! this post isnt about her being gay. and its sickening that you all see her as a "hot lesbian" when she is a person. a real person who is more than her sexuality.

    • SirQ

      You're new here, aren't you?

      • Nilson

        I no shit had a good LOL session by myself. Thank you sirQ you made my day!(unless my BFM comes then you will be a close 2nd)

    • lee

      I agree, cause ellen is awesome.

    • Pokes

      I don't think anyone sees her as a "hot" lesbian…

    • Vent187

      Bet Rosalie is a hot lesbian.

    • John Cocktoast

      Seriously I'm with you Rosalie….Who the hell said she was hot?

      I wasnt even aware women could be Chivers, I thought they just took their clothes off for Chivers?

      • Hugsnkisses

        Seriously you're a Douche.

        -Chivette

    • r00s7a

      We are not seeing her as a hot lesbian. We are seeing her GIRLFRIEND as a hot lesbian. Ellen is just a boy with a vagina.

    • nathan

      she's not a hot lesbian. she's a funny lesbian. big difference.

      • Rosalie

        and yes, im bisexual, but what does that matter. also, im not new here. Ive been a chivette for over a year. and chivettes are just as important as chivers, thank you. i stand by what i said. people are just people. sexuality shouldnt be what you know them for.

        • Kyle

          Not sure what is worse, The fact you actually label yourself as a chivette, or that you think the chive is a community that cares about anything other than boobs, ass, or war vets. Either way, I agree with you, who cares that she is gay.

        • BigOtis

          Don't take this the wrong way but if there were no Chivers there wouldn't be any Chivettes…doesn't apply the other way around….just sayin'

          • redstick

            Anyone using the phrase "just sayin" these days is a yokel — or yokelette.

        • I'm Me

          Send us a gallery of you wearing hardly anything doing hot poses. Maybe with a hot girlfriend also, I don't know its up to you.

    • http://euroranger.wordpress.com/ Euroranger

      You sound fat. And possibly gay.

      • redstick

        You sound psychic. And possibly lonely.

    • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

      They're scissoring…..

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