Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

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  • Jean K. Jean

    #10 Really ties the room together.

    • wha?

      how can you tell?

    • Matticus

      Nailed it!

    • Dunka-do-balls

      The dude abides

      • MissVega84

        clearly you're not a golfer

    • testudo321

      In the movie the guy pees on the rug, and the expression on the rug here…..

      • what

        thanks for ruining the end of the movie for me

    • ColaChiver

      Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill. So what the fuck are you talking about!

      • Aaron

        "Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature, dude."

        • Matt

          Asian American dude.

    • Jennifer

      LOL!

    • bengerman

      I think you're all missing the point there, where the hell can I buy this?

    • DUBU2DEATH

      old man said i could have any rug in the place

      • testudo321

        Oh and I've got my money from the ATM so….

    • Sethiroth

      YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY!!! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS …. WHEN YOU F–K A STRANGER IN THE ASS!!

      • Natasha

        Jean k jean from snl

    • walter

      pederast, 8 year olds, dude

  • PiratesFan

    #10 is exactly how I looked at #9.

  • Tiber_Septim

    #18 FTW I'll probably go to hell for this but what an ass!

    • PiratesFan

      I'm not a priest, but I'm pretty sure you don't go to hell for telling the truth.

      • Tiber_Septim

        considering she is on a bicycle I thought there was a chance she was underage hence the hell part

        • art

          Nope. She's over 18 and worked hard for that body!

        • Anon

          She looks way older than 18 to me. I'd risk it if it was an option!

          • whatever

            Or pray you meet her somewhere that's the age of consent is less than 18 – you can check it and move there if you have such urges.

            • ggg

              18 is the age of consent in only 10 states. The more you know…

              • Mike Hunt

                Even if it's 16 and you are over 18 you can get charged with corrupting the morals of a minor

      • Roderick

        You gotta risk it to get the biscuit!

        • Yuppp

          Don't call it a biscuit. That's what honey boo boo calls it.

    • Buzzard

      I would love to be her bicycle seat

      • McNasty

        I would love to smell it… Lol creepy(!)

    • Matt

      I say just don't ask her age and all is good.. Ignorance is bliss!!!

    • http://thechivefun.com/ www.thechivefun.com

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      • Ass

        Wow! Lame!

  • IceColdBuddha

    #9

    I cried when I saw this..

    • ASH

      oh…. I see you brought milk also.

    • FerrisWJ

      I seriously didn't notice the donuts for the first 5 minutes that I stared at this picture.

    • Chew

      #9 = heaven

    • Mike Hunt

      I wanted a glass of milk and some doughnuts

  • RandomTask09

    #17: “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates

    • http://twitter.com/saadzaf @saadzaf

      if they end up doing it at all lol

    • geo

      could be why windows works so well……………

  • English_Rob

    #25 Or done correctly?

    • mrjohnblund

      My thought exactly!

    • Lisa

      It's called Rogue or Gaffe Taxidermy. People who are legitimate taxidermists…ie those who preserve trophy/hunted/trapped animals…generally look down on this art form. I am a taxidermist. I have seen some amazing work. Pegasus. Unicorns. Two-headed creations. Even a Medusa out of real snakes. I got into taxidermy (in part) because of the jackalopes I saw in the hunting and fishing stores my father took me to as a child.

      This particular piece is not so awesome. Great idea, sorta. The position of the snakes body is wrong. The base/habitat could be better. I can't see the squirrel well enough to judge it. I hope they had fun making it and I hope they got a lot of money for it. πŸ˜‰

      • bird

        So I just googled Rogue Taxidermy… some weird s**t our there. My favorite: http://s.wordpress.com/imgpress?fit=1000,1000&amp

        • double sided tape

          Oh shit…that was awesome.

        • Lisa

          There are some fantastic things out there. Truly. Those squirrels look good and I think they're pretty old. I'm going to guess circa 1950(ish).

          So you can have an understanding of how difficult taxidermy is, look at the ears on those squirrels. See how they are curling in at the tops? Google image squirrel ears. They generally have a much softer shape. Those are curling because the taxidermist didn't fully turn the ears inside out when they made the piece. (Separate the skin from the cartilage.) Can you imagine how thin the skin on a squirrel ear is? And that's just the start of how cool taxidermy is. πŸ™‚

          I truly do love it. πŸ™‚

      • Jen

        Lisa, you crazy!

        • Lisa

          Not the first time someone has told me this. For me, it's preserving a memory. Taxidermy is totally a chick gig that men somehow took over. Think about it. Removing the hide from the meat? That's essentially cooking (in reverse.) Tanning of the hide? That used to be the womans work in Native American culture. Sculpture of the foam manniken that goes inside the skin? Art. Air brushing? Art. Habitat? Flower arranging.

          If I can take an animal and make it look as close as possible to a living thing again, then I've done my job. I am meticulous. I am proud of my work. I take my time and give my clients back something that I would be proud to hang on my wall. πŸ™‚

          • Jen

            well, that is awesome that you found something like that that you love to do! I would like to stuff my cat when she dies and put her in my living room. (yes, i am aware that i will die alone. im cool with that) maybe i will hit you up when she kicks the bucket!

            • Lisa

              Pet taxidermy is actually VERY expensive. I did a Pomeranian for a lady a few years ago. The reason it's so expensive is most people hate doing it. If (God forbid) we mess it up, there simply isn't any replacing of anything. If I mess up an elk cape (the skin from the shoulders to the tip of the nose), it's not awesome, but I can buy another one. If I had screwed up that dog I would have been SOL. So people charge a lot to prevent customers from getting it done.

              The Pomeranian looked really very peaceful though. I freeze dried it in a sleeping position, with its eyes closed. Sweet boy. I had his sleeping bed and everything. I truly do love it. I wish everyone had a job that made them happy on this many levels. πŸ™‚

      • MylesofStyles

        Taxidermist? Insert generic joke about getting stuffed here:

        • Lisa

          The correct term is "mounting". {Insert even more horrible jokes here.} πŸ˜€

          I've heard them all. And if someone wants to come in my shop and start shit with me, be prepared for me to give it right back. πŸ™‚

          A favorite memory is this:

          A guy brought me a VERY nice 5×5 mule deer. He and his buddies are standing in my shop while I filled out the paperwork. We chitchatted a little bit about the hunt, life, wives, marriage, kids. I mentioned that although I was getting divorced, I would not be moving my shop and he could come back here to get it.

          A few minutes later he asks me (in the most southern drawl I'd heard in a long time) "So how much would'ja charge me ta mount mah wife?"

          I looked him dead in the eye and said "Sir, how do you know I haven't already?"

          He swallowed his chew. πŸ˜€ His buddies damn near fell down laughing. πŸ˜€ Now, my door doesn't happen to swing that way, men are amazing…women are a pain in the ass…but he didn't know exactly why I was getting divorced. πŸ˜€

          πŸ™‚ Good times. πŸ™‚

          • MylesofStyles

            Sweet. So where's your ex-husband's head mounted? Please don't tell me it's above your bed. That would be borderline creepy.

            • Lisa

              He and I actually still live together. I became a taxidermist (in part) because our youngest daughter has epilepsy. I needed a career that I could do from home. If she's sick, she needs help right the fuck now! I have always messed around with feathers/hides. If you google "How to make a dream catcher by Lisa Martin" you'll find a tutorial I made. πŸ™‚

              I digress.

              He and I still live together. We both put aside our own personal bullshit to take care of her when she's sick. It's not easy. Her survival is more important than anything else. That said, she and I are moving to Alaska ASAP. πŸ™‚

          • mopar_man

            Good story! You sound like a hell of a lot of fun. Keep up the entertaining posts here.

            • Lisa

              Thank you. πŸ™‚

      • Yerp

        Was it a real human head on the medusa?

        • Lisa

          No. But it looked like it. The strangest request I've ever had was when someone asked me to go to the morgue and remove their fathers tattoo. I did not do it. There are lines. That's one.

      • mopar_man

        I don't know why legitimate taxidermists would look down on this. It takes a lot of imagination and skill to come up with something like this. I think it's awesome! I would proudly display this in my home.

        • Lisa

          Agreed. Some of the things I've seen are just spectacular. I don't really understand why some folks hate it so. I've seen it called an "abomination" and "disgusting". I figure it's art. And art has no boundaries.

          • tralfaz

            Lisa, Y U Type so much?

            • Lisa

              Because I'm a writer as well as a taxidermist, a server at Chili's, a Mom, a daughter, a friend and a student. πŸ™‚ You don't have to read what I write. πŸ˜‰ If someone sees something that helps them though, that makes my day. πŸ™‚

    • Mike Hunt

      No shit, this is awesome

      • hoe yay

        dat shit, it is awesome

    • Nick

      My point exactly…has no one seen Rescuers Down Under???

      • zach

        I came to look at the comments just to see if anyone had made this comment. You sir get a thumbs up.

    • Verbal_Kint

      I would actually love to have that…

  • Sean

    #18 Moar please. javascript: IDC.twitter.load_popup();

  • gclark

    #25 You mean when taxidermy goes right?

    • blue_bronco

      When taxidermy goes awesome!

  • PiratesFan

    #27 MST3K – hilarious.

    • RobboJohn

      That show was awesome!

  • Jean K. Jean

    #25 Horribly wrong?!? It's one of the greatest things I've ever seen!!! Along with #18 of course.

    • guest444

      this needs to be in the wants vs need section

  • jabitt1

    Yeah, but Bill Murray still sucks.

    • mitter78

      Who let this guy in?

    • tom baker

      get fkkkkkd…

      • tom baker

        got an idea jabitt,,, your opinion… why dont you just jabitt up your ass..

    • Orukal

      Don't feed them.

    • that's right

      Well, after Wes Anderson… yeah.

    • Fuck you

      Kill yourself

  • sexualniner

    #25 correction, awesomely right.

  • PiratesFan

    The scale of #16 is awesome.

    • fact checker

      I am not sure I understand what is going on there. are they capturing a ghost, or dumping sand slowly?

      • Methos

        it's a vortex.

  • chiver

    #4 looks good…. #18 does too πŸ™‚

    • OhioChiver

      Great. Now I'm craving that. Well…both actually. Dammit.

  • Naked chicks FTW

    I want AND need #25

    WHAT is on the left in #20???!!!??

    • Anjin-San

      a small penis compensator

  • http://www.facebook.com/jim.nicholson1 Jim Nicholson

    #25 i want one

  • WiseGuy

    #17 this kid may not know his shapes, but he is wise.

  • BEANS

    #8 this is what's wrong with society

    #9 this is what's great about society

  • Hip-Hop-anonymous

    #13 is that Bill Nye?!?

  • This Guy 13

    #9 just got me hungry and well i cant stand up.

  • superman

    #25 awesomely right

  • Great Dane

    #21 is beautiful – but I don't like the clothes

    • guest444

      yea i hate clothes on women to.

    • Tom?

      It's called "Derilicte".

      • tralfaz

        nice

    • the credible hulk

      Honey? Does this make me look fat?

  • lol

    #8 i fucking hate people like him

  • Bret

    #8 is a fag nuff' said

    • http://www.luckymonkeyphoto.com Emperordirt

      The gay gentlemen I know would at least wear black socks. This guy is a douche.

      • CanadianMedic

        Agreed full douche but it has nothing to do with his sexual orientation. Also it's 2012 do we still say fag?

        • Orukal

          I do believe that "douche" has officially taken over the role after a 9 month trial phase.

          • CanadianMedic

            Perfect at least that's stereotyping a product not a person

  • noegod

    #17 can't tell if this child is stupid, or smart?

    • http://thechivefun.com/ www.thechivefun.com

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