Daily Afternoon Randomness (40 Photos)

Sorry about the shortened, Diet Coke of DARs today, I'm holed up in an Austin hotel and I just really wanna go to bars on 6th Street and light the wick on this evening. This is a selfish act, and you'll have to forgive me. I need a beer. See y'all tonight at the Rattle Inn. I'm out.

John

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  • babyfartmagizax

    Happy Birthday Phil!! Oh and #31, nice Bounce!

    • He who shits

      Fuck u in your big gay fucking ass, baby fart

      • babyfartmagizax

        You'd like that wouldn't you.. Sorry but I don't swing that way.

    • McSnarf

      Squishy

    • Draiden

      Your back! Now show yourself out again….

    • Latrobechiver

      need to find full length version

      • zeek112

        I've seen it linked to on here before… along with some much better ones. Wish I had saved it.

      • beerman

        Cassiebaby, a camgirl, NSFW

        • zeek112

          Thanks! After some digging looks like it's easier to find her as katee owen

      • J_Ace

        Yeah, if you look in the video section on Chive, you'll be able to find it.

      • KAK
    • Bone feeder

      Yur back?? Such a Load.

    • Will

      I'll say it for everyone: "Fuck. He's back".

    • Haha, seriously

      Katee Owen, for those of you who don't know.

    • Tuff_Guy

      Go away Guthrie Atkinson.

  • Dallas Chivette

    #5

    You're forgiven, now run along and play, Johnny

    • Mom?

      All work and no play makes John a dull boy

    • weaksauce

      the internet is going down that day, my god, you see how many things are being released at once? its going to be insane!

    • El_Hefe

      the drunken magic is now in his pants

    • alex w.

      why the fuck don't yall just charge to get ON the website??? Yall do for everything else!! Come on, selling tickets for the Austin meetup??? Screw U!!

      • joe shabadoo

        if they could, i'm sure they would.

    • joe shabadoo

      its like that simpsons episode where marge finds the chanel dress and keeps altering it. Chive has no real ideas so they just repackage the same old shit, but with a santa hat!!! whoo!!!

  • bob

    first

    • chargers suck

      duuuuur

    • üäö

      follow John … on wheels

  • HOOK_the_LEGEND

    #15 Ahhhh yes.#22 and who might you be?

    • NorCal420

      Queens of the DAR get my vote ASAP

      • rew$ter

        #15, you are forgiven. #40 and #8, you may now battle it out FTW!

        • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

          #15 – that is a horrible titty job………"Refund".

    • guest

      #22 You could have used my face.

      • Guest

        Um, that comment gives me a naughty idea…

    • Unfkngblvbl

      Wait, who the fuck dresses like that for hike?

      • caleb

        Agreed, looks fucking attention grabbing at best for a hike. But, hot/body. I approve this message.

    • IamAwesome

      15, nice trashy tattoo

      22, who the fuck wears that on a hike? Oh yeah, a high maintenance bitch

      • JAFitC

        Or someone who was looking for an intro to the second of her photos, and didn't expect anyone to be douchey enough to think she was serious.

  • http://twitter.com/Davieboy817 @Davieboy817

    #28. Birra that please

  • OhioChiver

    #40 Well, it damn sure made me smile anyway. Nice work Chivette. 😉

    • reaperMEDIC

      I'm sorry, all I read was "DO ME".

      • Yessir

        Actually, the proper grammar here is "Do I and my schoolgirl skirt…"

        • Belli

          Correct grammar is, "Do me *in* my schoolgirl outfit" I believe…

        • phntm3

          Actually, the proper grammer is "me" as in "(that's) ME in MY schoolgirl skirt"… or as in "me wonders why the hell you care"

    • Kuba

      LOL. She had me at "DO ME"

      • Chris

        lol This is great. Everyone read this the same way. Do me in my school girl skirt?

    • Felcus

      All I read was "Do me"

      • Nice jugs

        Yes, we will do you in your school girl skirt!

    • http://www.thechive.com AdamBaldick

      Very nice work..

    • He who shits

      U make me hard babe, sorry that's about as romantic as I get

      • Greg

        Just light a candle next time.

        • He who shits

          Nah that's gay I only do that after a nasty shit bro candles are for chicks

          • Gelga

            …And what gender do you prefer to sleep with?

            • JAFitC

              Well played!

    • Kevrhutch

      thanks for making my boxes all sticky

    • lucid_eye

      You can end every dar as far as I'm concerned

    • Skermitt

      Oooohh herro prease!

    • Jack o' lantern

      Idiot

      • SeanMed

        You say do me and i say yes please

    • BallGag4X_Mas

      It looks like she's trying to rip her skin off…still hot though

    • Chris

      Or… Does my school girl skirt and I make the DAR?

    • Matticus

      aaaaagreeeed 🙂 she's one smexy chivette

    • ninajdisco

      FARK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Chiver_Sammy

      She's doing it right…Please send in MOAR…

  • rebecca

    #5 #6

    You mixed Bill Murray and Christmas… and I love it

    • tbaynes

      thats a valid observation

    • Parkview

      Found the perfect Christmas gift for my chiver brother

    • sfb101

      Just don't get Scrooged!

      • DrGarnicus

        Excellent!

    • Daniel Tosh

      not buying

      • BFMonceAyear

        Is this something I'd wear year round? Probably not, now a BFM 3D. I'll take that.

    • OmahaDude

      I actually wouldn't mind a BFM version 2.0 with an image of ol' Bill from "Scrooged" for Christmas. How bout you work on that for next year Chive? Mmkay?

    • cultlike nonthinkers

      lemmings

  • CanadianPiper

    #8 Wow…I mean, Hi how are ya?

    • Teddy Roxspin

      Ummm MOAR!!!! Wow!!

    • Bren

      i love her big goofy.. feet

      • WTF

        I was gonna ask if those were tennis shoes or skis…………….

    • Falthor

      I'm with piper… Gorgeous face, amazing smile, legs that go for days, and she pulls off the killer sexy librarian/nerd girl? this woman has an unfair advantage over us guys…

  • Christophe

    #40 you do and you've been accepted here

    • Guest

      #40: You had me at "do me".

      • dumb gifts

        I thought the same thing–I was like, ":o do me?… =/oh wait she meant to ask 'does my school girl outfit and me…'" Don't care, still would!

        • That other guy

          If you are going grammar nazi, say it right.
          'Does my school girl outfit and I…"

  • ChivetteKellie

    #5 #6 OMG I need. Can't wait.

  • ChestRockwellz

    BOOBIES!!

  • Who dat

    A haiku

    What is that u said?
    Jimmy Ternyila is gay?
    No freaking way, bro

    • 15Weight

      Could you imagine the possibilities if you took all of your shitty-poetry-writing power and actually applied it to something other than shitty poetry?

      Man, there would be no stopping you.

      • Who dat

        Thanks bro I got another

        Your mother (a ghetto haiku)

        Your mom gave me dome
        Picked dat hoe up at da bar
        Your pops watched me plow (her)

        Fin.

        • 15Weight

          Instant classic. Let me have a go…

          "Your mom" poetry
          is the last resort of an
          underage douchebag.

          I'm glad to see the middle schools still let you kids off for the holidays. Tell all the fellas from the playground not to eat too much turkey!

          • Who dat

            Bro you're either:
            A. Retarded

            Or

            B. Canadian (kind of like option A. only with a stupid accent)

            Everyone knows they don't let us out of high school for Thanksgiving break until next week.

            • Mike

              I think they should keep you locked in there so you can learn to use proper English instead of nonsense like "dat"

  • back2worknow

    <img src="http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/30279502.jpg&quot; pxz:uid="-85b72032-40">

    #32 Winner!

  • http://twitter.com/LosTorre @LosTorre

    #26 Those lips!

    • http://twitter.com/LosTorre @LosTorre

      #27 !!!!!

    • Joe

      DAT ASS!!!

    • dutch

      they love bacon?

    • DeDav

      Aww yeah… those bacony lips…

    • Concerned Chiver

      She needs to ease up on the make-up. She'd look much better without. I know there's a pretty face under all that. I want moar of that.

      • JazzHand

        I was just thinking the same exact thing concerned chiver. Thank you. KCCO

  • http://twitter.com/LosTorre @LosTorre

    #28 those hips!

    • http://twitter.com/LosTorre @LosTorre

      #29 !!!!!

    • BertoPop

      Dat ass!

  • SmokeyTheBear

    #31 Made me miss a call at work! FML

    • Derek

      Isn't this the mansion in the first scene from True Lies?

  • David

    #40 – yes they do…

    • Frank

      for the love of god post more

      • Justin

        I would prefer this statement without the "make the dar part"

    • http://geektriumvirate.wordpress.com geektriumvirate

      noms

    • Joe

      Do my School Girl Skirt and I….

  • Christian

    #15, Jesus.

    • dutch

      i know, right! i have always wanted to core a pineapple that way, now i can.

    • Dan

      that's no Jesus, you silly! I think you misspelled "boobs".

    • unmistakable

      No Jesus… just boobs… and legs… mmmm…

    • unmistakable

      #2 That's more like Jesus

    • whatever

      I don't believe you. You're just trying to scam me back to church.

  • http://twitter.com/LosTorre @LosTorre

    #40 all i read was do me in my school girl skirt

    • Dan

      That's exactly what I read too! I though I was too drunk to read that properly lol

    • Woyaboy

      FUck yea bro, that's what I read too. Lol. Chive on.

  • RazorChiver

    #16 Why yes, yes it does. Thanks

    • I gotcha back

      #15, the chive pulled a switcheroo on you, KCCO

  • Tyler

    #5 #6

    OK that's just awesome

  • https://www.facebook.com/se7ensenses Conrad Knorr

    #25 A very Ron Swanson christmas

    • Keither

      … what I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have, do you understand!

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Just Another Monday at
      EpicMealTime Headquarters

  • wantomas

    #40 Please raise your hand before asking a question.

    • thebeefinjector

      i kept reading "Do me in my schoolgirl skirt" over and over again on #40

      • Chummy Palmer

        Played it well you did

    • unmistakable

      Well played sir!

    • beanpole

      well played.

    • Travis

      F T W

  • Ryan

    #22 Um….come sit right here? Thanks

    • Ryan

      I swear #23 was 22

  • ThisGuy

    How much does one hipster weigh?

    One instagram

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