“Had a crush on one of my grad school teachers for a year and a half. I was into everything about her. Looks, brain, everything. Then out of the blue, she calls my cell phone and tells me that she’s thinking of getting into yoga and knows that I am into yoga, so would I get a drink with her and tell her more? I was not exactly experienced with hookups and I actually took her at her word. I went expecting to talk about yoga and go home afterward.
We ended up getting totally wasted, making out in the middle of a bar, and then I walked her home where I kept saying “I’m sorry” and “This definitely isn’t happening.” and “I’ll just get you to your door and go home.” It did happen, but the joke was on her. She got a few seconds of the worst sex of her life and then got to listen to me in the bathroom for a while.”
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