This is ultimately a roast of me, but first a quick story about yours truly…
Those who’ve paid any attention to my track record over the years know that I post the DMA in the late hours of the evening. Technically the post goes live at 2AM central time every day, and though I pre-post it a few hours early I often am still building out the content into the late hours of the evening. And that’s the way I like doing things. I’m a night owl like that. Always have been.
In fact, a quick aside about myself in comparison to my superior older brother (and Chive Editor) Rick, if you’ll allow me a moment. We both grew up as tennis players. You could say we were a tennis family really. I’m talking no time for jobs — just tennis before & after school and all through the weekends. People at the racquet club we belonged to used to crack fun at us that we were homeless because we’d spend 10 hours (sometimes longer) on the court every Saturday & Sunday. Now I was never much of a tennis player like my older state champion caliber brother, Rick (notice this actual article of me that my parents kept — “No. 2 isn’t so bad”…ouch, right?). But I digress. We can’t all be as badass as Ricky.
The point is I, unlike my machine-like brother, hated waking up early in the morning and playing tennis. I just wake up super slow and my body & brain needs help hitting its stride. Rick, no joke could wake up hungover (totally of age, I’m sure–wink wink) and still play to his fullest ability even if his breath still wreaked of alcohol. But not me. No, Sir. So nowadays, long since I retired from tennis, I still need a pick-me-up to help get the gears of war hitting their stride.