Wanted: Marketing Manager for The Chivery

As some of you may recall, we were hiring a marketing manager for TheChivery.com a few months ago. Long story short, we hired someone and it didn't really work out because they fibbed about their experience.
So we're back to stimulating the economy and looking for a true blue badass to fill this position. We have a laundry list of requirements, but we will only consider candidates with at least the following skill sets:

-Must have online marketing experience
-Must be a graphic designer and well versed in Photoshop and Illustrator (we need to see your portfolio)
-Must have experience with Mail Chimp
-Must have experience with Adsense and Facebook advertising
-Must live in Los Angeles as our offices are in Venice

If you meet the above criteria, even if you applied before, please click HERE to read the rest of the job description and apply. KCCO!

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  • Apedos

    Get over yourselves chive.. Keep it real

    • ksc

      Companies need to realize that a marketing manager is not a fucking graphic designer. It takes a particular personality to handle all marketing and advertising for a huge website and a completely different person to do the design work.

      When did these two jobs become one? I have 12 years experience in online marketing, including building and selling an ad network…and I could design a damn wordpress blog.

      • Fuck Your Couch

        true

  • MOAR

    Must be able to keep inventory.

    • etcrr

      Must be able to identify desires for and of merchandise and order proper quantities, so as to serve our Bloggers needs

  • dbizzle

    FRIST!

  • David Sudderth

    I am a marketing major graduating in May. Find my resume on Linkedin.

    Thanks,
    David Sudderth

    • digitalpimp

      Seriously? When you thought to yourself "hey, that'd be a great job for me," your first impulse was to post in the comment section that you're interested?

    • No Job for David

      First piece of advice to graduating class…DON'T make the employer do ALL THE LEG WORK. Wow…no wonder people are having a hard time finding jobs out of school, MOST ARE CLUELESS! There's specific instructions on how to apply and you pull a "find my resume on Linkedin"…lol. Smart. Keep looking bro.

    • HatBomb

      Its no wonder we have high unemployment and staffing agencies are still struggling to fill openings. Where is the basic common sense? Do universities no longer teach you how to get a job once they give you the damn degree?

      • fignewton

        Guarantee you this kid is either trolling or goes to Virginia College online

    • Cal1

      Application fail, it says in the description at the end click here to apply, attention to detail is not a strong point then

    • ajgrieco

      LOLZ

    • Fuck Your Couch

      ITT Tech Graduate ^^^

  • digitalpimp

    How about hiring a t-shirt manager?

    • Jester

      Let's not get crazy here

  • stuf

    Must be able to withstand the urge to fap at work!!!..

    • Master_Rahl

      impossibru!

  • Philly

    Pick me, I can market!

  • StickyWickets

    Hire me! I have no experience but come on, the Chive sells itself

  • Woody

    What's a mail chimp?

    • digitalpimp

      It's like a trunk monkey, but for work.

      • ChaseTheWalker

        I thought it was Paula.

    • Fuck Your Couch

      email service. but nobody wants to work there.

  • OhSomeEvil

    I drink, I party, I can talk a good talk, hire me.

  • Sluttypanda

    I live in Chicago, and have very little experience. I Chive every day though. Actually, I lied. I have no experience. Please consider me.

  • Steveo

    Must be able to order more than a dozen KCCO shirts at a time. Assclowns!

  • Guy on a Buffalo

    I am able to job. Thanks!

    • Wang choo

      He may be able to job, but I am able to Engrish!

  • Eddie

    Why Mail Chimp? Does it have value added features that other similar services do not offer? Or do you just not want to mover your Database?

  • etcrr

    #1 This is the job I want the most

    • etcrr

      You got it wrong pinhead, I want the girl not the job ssshhhh get it right if you are going to play with my name

  • Skeeter valentine

    I love you chive. I mean I’m on your site more than I watch tv now. But something leads me to believe that you don’t pay very well. You have a laundry list of requirements but you would probably pay your employees with tshirts if you had some in stock. Speaking of tshirts….if you aren’t able to supply tshirts to at least half of the people demanding them, then I’m guessing marketing isn’t your biggest issue.

    • Carter

      Read the full job posting on the Resignation Media site. $45-65k base PLUS commission PLUS health insurance stipend. Which part of that isn't paying very well?

      • Master_Rahl

        oh yeah, don't forget the last plus – all the red hot Chivettes that grace the Chive offices. Some of the perks of working at the Chive.

    • Dirty_Dingus

      Actually, controlling the supply of said T-shirts, keeps the demand sky high…which is often a good marketing strategy.

  • Anonymous

    What’s really FUCKING hilarious is when you contact the chivery wondering where your order is, they’re two separate companies and one can’t speak for the other, sipping WHAT THE DUCK IS THIS? IT’S CALLED SOULED OUT! punk bitches

  • Mail chimp? Really?

    I work in marketing, but for the most part I just scroll through the chive. Marketing for chive is simple. Just put your ridiculous pictures all over Facebook and twitter. What else are you gonna do? Put out an ad saying “do you like tits and ass?” “do you like funny pictures” or if youre demographic is women, then you could put up an as saying “do you want people to say that you’re hot?” “do you want to feel liked and special” “do you want to prove that even though your face is hit, you’ve got a great ass?” or “here are some cute animals”

    • Ned Plimpton

      Win.

    • Rick_

      Notice the position is for theChivery, not theChive. Looks like they are looking into branching that out as it's own thing, not necessary associated with theChive. Good idea, and a good Marketing Manager would be required to pull it off.

  • Schadeboy

    -Must have online marketing experience (Got It!) (not really)
    -Must be a graphic designer and well versed in Photoshop and Illustrator (we need to see your portfolio) ( I know Photoshop pretty good, and I can design graphics no problem. You say you need a portfolio? What's that?)
    -Must have experience with Mail Chimp (I have a male member, does that count?)
    -Must have experience with Adsense and Facebook advertising (Check) (not really on the Adsense part)
    -Must live in Los Angeles as our offices are in Venice (When you say Los Angeles, does that mean Los Angeles proper or do you mean Los Angeles and the surrounding 1,000 miles?)

    Looks like I'm applying!

  • Skedaddle

    Pick any (all?) Chivette calendar models. No clothing, er experience necessary. Those bods can market about anything

  • Anonymous

    “Must have ability to order only 5 KCCO shirts for the chivery, to totally piss off an army of loyal followers”

  • Ned Plimpton

    I'm from Chicago and have no marketing experience, but I heart bewbs so hire me.

    My first order of business will be to make sure EVERY loyal Chiver can buy a KCCO or BFM shirt.

    Secondly, will put an end to that fuckass known as Paula.

    Third, no more fucking cat posts. MILF Saturdays from now on…

    I can't wait to do some fucking marketing!!!

    • Master_Rahl

      MILF Saturdays, now THAT'S an I dea I can get behind

    • Bob Lee Swagger

      Ned Plimpton 2012!!!

  • ksc

    First thing the marketing manager needs to do is hire a designer.

    Second thing is use fewer ad networks to monetize the traffic, this is the reason for the dreadfully slow load time on your site.

    • postnoise

      +1

    • ROK247

      yes. hire a kickass designer right out of college and get a trained monkey to do that other busywork BS

      • greg

        you said kickass designer right out of college… let me know if you ever meet one.

  • noway

    live in LA? FUCK that shit comrade, I like living in the USA, not some freaked out progressive socialist clusterfuck

    • some-dude

      this man speaks the truth about la 😦

  • http://Thechive James

    45 to 65k in L.A. good pay? Haha, that’s cute you’d think so .

    • bill

      Is one of the perks free pussy from visiting Chivettes?

    • ROK247

      THECHIVE:
      loves the idea of a pro marketer
      doesn't want to pay them squat

      (fyi i live in buttfuck nowhere midwest and im a graphic designer and i make that much lol)

      • dill

        Dude, we don't want to know that you buttfuck

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