Advertisement
Advertisement
  • Jamison

    #8, #9

    So you're one of the most beautiful girls in the world, every man's dream, and you're changing your image so he likes you? Ditch him, his loss. Call me.

    • Bill Cosby

      Or me.

      • Grant

        Or me

        • Otto

          or me

          • https://www.facebook.com/JLeezy06 Jordan Lawal

            AND MY AXE!!!
            . . . Am I doing this right?

            • MICHAEL

              Took me like .1 seconds to get this! hilarious

            • ewp

              Haha god that made me lol so hard.

              • BigusDickus

                Oh shit! I missed the lol the first time I read that comment and got extremely confused.

                • Navin Johnson

                  A cosmetologist? That's incredible. That's impressive. How do you handle the weightlessness?

            • yup

              FUCKING LAWL!

            • DrGarnicus

              YES!

            • Brad

              I never comment but that was some funny shit.

            • zepolcire

              boom headshot.

            • Vince

              I'm coming too

            • toria

              Made my fucking day

            • jim_b

              Funniest comment I've seen in a loooooong time. Thank you for that.

          • https://www.facebook.com/justinsargood1 Justin Sargood

            Otto! is that you?

            • Alex Maroon

              or me

          • Buck

            You wouldnt know what to do with her Curt.

          • Antizealot

            C-C-C-Combo BREAKER!

        • Popcorn Shrimp

          Or me

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=670415236 Maciej Hein

            or me 😉

            • banananah

              me? him? me? ME? him?

              • Darrell

                Ah I found the end of the line LOL.

              • lowercasetron

                what about she?

        • Lebo

          Or me

          • ChiveOn!

            No. ME!!!

        • BabyFart Magizax

          Or me?? I love #13, this guy must be blind and a fool!!!

      • dwide schrude

        over 1000 likes. the chive is officially mainstream.

        pack up your things, gang!

        • SilkySapper

          uh oh, the hipsters will abandon ship now, what will we do?

          • SmashasaurusRex

            rejoice

            • Julie

              these two comments made me spit out my drink hahhahahahahahahhhaha

        • Who...Cares?

          This site is so OVER! ITS OVER!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=769235386 Colin J. Schrader

        Or me

      • game

        total bullshit – this chick just wants attention.

        She knows she is hot and evidently didn't get a chivette of the week spot.

        • Project mayhem

          Word.

        • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=829995426 Oliver Arguello

          I said the same thing. This is a TROLL beyond belief.

      • Gotta be fresh.

        For every hot girl out there there is a guy tired of screwing her.

        • JHL1

          Not for every one. Some yes, all no.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=723856432 Lee Covington

          funny story, I have heard this saying before and it came from my dad hahaha

      • dude miller

        "every man's dream…" wheew boy speak 4 yourself, this girl has crazy eyes…

        • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=829995426 Oliver Arguello

          Yeah…. there is something kinda "wtf is wrong with you, fundamentally" if you are pinning for a guy for 8 years. Man….imagine the guys she picked within the last 8 years who dumped her? Theres gotta be a reason shes not in a commited realtionship after all this time if she looks like that and appreas to be pretty awesome.

      • UBDILLY

        Hang on this is what you wanted. Bukkake session!!!!!

      • DoomsDayDub

        What's that book/movie called again??? He's Just Not That Into You. This guy is obviously either trying to A. Just have sex with you no strings attached, or B. Does like you as a friend and doesn't have the heart to just flat out let you know he is not interested in you more than that. No such thing as a guy being scared of a relationship letting him miss out on a girl he wants to be with. Give his a$$ an ultimatum and move on. Friends is not an option, its not natural, especially if you have already slept together in the past.

        • Project mayhem

          Bootycall for sure. Real me jump off bridges to be with girls they are trying to get with.

        • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=829995426 Oliver Arguello

          Its been 8 years. Either

          A) He is gay
          b)Doesnt exist
          c) shes just trolling to get compliments.

      • thngsmkeyougohmmm

        Anonamoose · 1 day ago
        Posting anonymously because I never get on Chive, but I think I need to remind every guy that if something seems too good to be true, than it's probably not. This girl has major emotional dependency problems. She's really nice (and as you can see, very easy on the eyes) but she dated a close friend and cheated on him with 12 (TWELVE!!!) other guys. She is in constant need of men's gratification, and the guy she's trying to get closer to has the right idea to not want to commit to a serial home-wrecker.
        Report
        Reply
        3 replies · active less than 1 minute ago
        +1
        really?'s avatar

        really? · 1 day ago
        LMAO… you sound like you REALLY know!
        Report
        Reply
        0
        Anonamoose's avatar

        Anonamoose · 1 day ago
        I do. Her name is Ashley Haven. She lives in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm not going to put where she lives or works or her phone number because I don't want the internet to ruin her life, but she probably wouldn't mind if I did seeing that it's extra attention.
        Report
        Reply
        0
        : )'s avatar

        : ) · 1 minute ago

        Comment posted.

        Share on Facebook or Close Message
        I could see that, seriously AWESOME! wonder if any other Chivers know the TRUTH! ; )

        • OH RLLY?

          HOW DID I KNOW! LMFAO

        • ninja!

          just goes to show! there is more then meets the eye…

        • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=829995426 Oliver Arguello

          LOL! I Knew it!!!! I was either guessing shes just trolling for attention or she has some serious issues. What girl who looks like that and seems awesome is single for 8 years… let alone pinning for a guy for 8 years?

          She cheated with 12 guys? WOW. Wtf is wrong with that guy that he remains friends with her for this long? Unless he loves the attention himself and string her along for some mild torture.

          Man she lives in a giant radius of f*cked up

          • haha..

            LMFAO! "she lives in a giant radius of f*cked up"

            more to meets the eye indeed.

        • Kimberly

          Why do all the crazy ones have to be from Mississippi. Think I need to move.

    • Steph

      I agree with this guy! You are a gorgeous, creative and interesting person! This fella of yours.. you care about him, it's obvious, but he's a fool for not snatching you up!
      Hopefully this post of yours will garner millions of offers from guys who will treat you like the amazing person you clearly are!!
      ❤ – Fellow chivette.

      • Dunny_

        Yeah, I agree with the first dude and this chivette. If he can't dig you for who you are, then find someone who wants you to be yourself and will still treat you like The Calisi.

        • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

          Khaleesi xD

          But i do agree with everything else

          • Dunny_

            God Damn, I was WAY off with that. Guess I should take the time to read the books.
            Thanks!

            • Dylan

              The books are worth it. They're great!

              • Nammer

                Or me. Too soon?

              • Game

                Books are definitely worth reading.

                Plus, you shouldn't have to change for him.

                • DoomsDayDub

                  Yeah, don't change. Reading books is debatable though.

      • http://www.facebook.com/christopher.richardson21 Christopher Richardson

        you gave the most logical response of anyone on here.

        • Mation

          Also, Khaleesis don't get treated all that great. They're generally treated like a piece of meat (albeit the choicest cut), and when their Khal dies, they're sent off to Vaes Dothrak to wither away and die. The only reason that didn't happen to Daenerys is the fact that she had dragons.

          • Professor America

            @Mation- Are you REALLY trying to explain a Game of Thrones back story right now? Get a life.

            • gw1lls

              FRACKING LOL

            • Anon

              A life? I suppose talking about something you enjoy has nothing to do with life? And insulting someone does?

          • chronicLSD

            Wtf are you saying?

      • JerseyGuy

        "garner?" I kind of want to meet Steph now… vocabulary is sexy.

      • Matt

        Finally some sense.

      • Jesus

        I disagree. We don't know what's going on with him. He may well have very good reasons not to want anything more with her. Maybe she's crazy. Maybe he's just not a monogamous guy and is trying to avoid a monogamous relationship. We all assume that the monogamy model works for everyone, but that is bullshit.

        On an unrelated note, fuck J Crew. Hard and in the ass. Because that shit's for boring douches. Rebels are fun, think outside the box, and tend to be more experimental… 😀

      • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=829995426 Oliver Arguello

        There obviously more to this story. Either she just wants attention ( hence all the photos and risque photos) or he dumped her for a reason. And whenever people break up, that reason will always be there and they wll break up for the same reason.

        Also…. I WOULD NEVER take a girl seriously, or take an ex back, if she blasts some website with pictures like this and tries to make me look like a fool. Even worse if shes doing this just to make me jealous. All in all….. very immature.

    • twoedges

      Jamison has it right. Be you, and find someone who likes who you are just the way you are. There are plenty of douchettes wearing J-Crew as it is. And call me instead.

    • Matt

      lol, Don't trust someone who says "fuck this guy" when it is followed by "and date me."

      • DaddyD

        How about "fuck me and date this guy"? Would that be trustworthy?

        • Nammer

          Think my neighbors are going to kick me out for laughing this hard…

    • Stephen

      Looking at the room, I can tell that you.
      Are the most beautiful girl in the…room.
      (In the whole wide room).
      And when you're on the street, depending on the street.
      I bet you are definitely in the top three.
      Good lookin' girls on the street.
      (Depending on the streets).
      And when I saw you at my mate's place.
      I thought…what, is she, doing…at my mate's place.
      How did he get a hottie like that to a party like this?
      Good one, Dave.
      (Ooh, you're a legend, Dave).

      I asked Dave if he's going to move on you.
      He's not sure.
      I said "Dave, do you mind if I do?"
      He says he doesn't mind.
      But I can tell he kind of minds.
      But I'm going to do it anyway.

      I see you standing all alone by the stereo.
      I dim the lights down to very low, here we go
      You're so beautiful.
      You could be a waitress.
      You're so beautiful.
      You could be a air hostess in the 60s.
      You're so beautiful.
      You could be a part-time model.
      But then I seal the deal, I do my moves.
      I do my dance moves.

      Lets travel through, just me and you.
      As other dudes around you on the dance floor.
      I draw you near, lets get out of here.
      Lets get in a cab. I'll buy you a kabob.
      I can't believe. I'm sharing a kabob.
      With the most beautiful girl I have ever seen with a kabob.
      Oh, why don't we leave?
      Lets go to my house.
      We can feel each other up on the couch.
      Oh no, I don't mind taking it slow.

      Cause you're so beautiful…
      Like a tree. Or a high class prostitute.
      You're so beautiful.
      You could be a part time model.
      But you'd probably still have to keep your normal job.
      A part time model.
      Spend part of your time modeling.
      And part of your time next to me.

      My place is usually a bit tidier than this

      • Wow

        god I love me some Conchords…

      • Gebby

        Classic. I can't believe you put all the words to that FOTC song in your comment. Well played.

      • dominantone

        ya buddy. classic song. At first I thought this was gonna be some lame peom from some desperate guy trying to get at this girl, then I got to the second line and was like "fuck ya!".

    • Backseat Chiver

      I agree. Cut him off and see how he reacts. If nothing, then you were wasting the last 8years on a guy who only marginally wanted you, but really wanted to f you.

      If he gets upset and tries to fix it, then you got something and he needs to stop being a pussy.

      But, please, don't be foolish enough to tie yourself to someone who wants you to change who you are. I doubt that is the case here, I have changed some behavior to better my relationship, but never my identity.

      To the dude: If you care for this girl, enjoy being with her, and can see a future with her. Why are you such a coward? You think relationships only mean fighting and arguments and loss? Do you know how to work at something? Do you know that relationships are two strangers trying to share one life. WTF is wrong with you? If you don't care for this girl let her go find someone better and braver than your sorry ass.

      That is all

    • theend81

      Agree with everything… 100%, except call me, not Jamison

      • Guest

        Don't call anyone. Text me.

        • Franklin1138

          Don't call OR text. Use your data plan and email me.

    • rockstar_323

      That's the problem. He knows she loves him and knows he can have her whenever he wants. I'd say the amazing dates end with sex, so basically he has been banging this chick for 8 years no strings attached. Friends or not she is just a booty call to him, at the most his last resort girl. She can stop sleeping with him but I would bet there friendship would die out over time and by the way she talks she wouldn't want that.

      • Nammer

        Somehow I agree with you, which makes me fucking sad. Booty calls are awesome when both parties agree that it's all it's going to be. But someone like this does NOT deserve to be treated as a booty call. Damn, if one of mine ever did something as awesome as this I would marry her the next week.

        To the Chiver that Ashley wants: Get it together dude. Chances like these come around once in a lifetime.

        • rockstar_323

          If this girl is your booty call and you're wanting to keep her on the side you've got equally hot or hotter girls on the side you can call.

          • Dingle

            Yea, the bitter truth is that RS323 is right on the money.

            Bottom line, sweetheart, is this guy doesn't love you. He just loves to throw it in you. He's not afraid of relationships. He just doesn't want one, and when the day comes that he finally does want one, it won't be with you. It'll be with a girl that makes him feel the way you feel about him. Girls get chucked into the friendzone for a reason. Not because of fear or stupidity, but because you just aren't the one.

    • Dooley

      I agree don't change for anyone find someone who loves you not what they can make you

    • Todd

      Don't change who you are! If he doesn't like you the way you are then forget him. You are gorgeous. There are plenty of guys, not just on this site either lol, that would love you for who you are.

    • Jim Beam

      Or me

    • Matt

      Fuck Jamison. This dude can only think of/through his dick. If you really care about his guy (coming from a guy) go for it. Bear it all. It's scary for dudes to try to bear their feelings. If you're close to being on the same page, he'll understand. Sounds like love to me. You don't need luck. Go get him.

    • SimonDPieman

      So to paraphrase, the whole of this site want you to ditch him, half this site want you to call them afterwards. The whole of that half are male.

      And i have to say i wholly agree with them.

      • HUH!

        from what i hear she probably will respond to them and have a big gaping whole afterward(if she doesnt already)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1491805646 Phill Wolf

      i'm with this guy, call him.

    • Colin

      he doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't really like you and doesn't want to give up the sex and everything else because there is probably some one else he is leading on

    • .Krookz

      Screw him, call me

    • nikki

      So i've totally changed looks to get a guy to notice me but honestly, f*** that. If you want a REAL relationship with REAL love and a REAL guy, don't go for this guy. I know you've been crushin on him for 8 years… but 8 years and no relationship? He's making excuses. Don't look for love, it will come when you least expect it. Just be yourself and hopefully ONE day these guys will notice the good girls in front of their eyes.

      • kory

        agree.. Love is like a fart, if you have to force it its probably shit!!

        • _LG

          Most amazing comment on the internet, to date.

          • Bubba

            In addition: farts, like love, are not to be overtrusted.

          • JimmyP06

            why is there not a chivette of the week gallery of you LG??

            • _LG

              There was, back in February of last year, and I was lucky enough to be in the calendar and have a few shoots with theChive (and was an active chivette for a solid year), but John thankfully deleted the content from my post, upon request, and changed the name to help my career endeavors. It was incredibly nice of him to be so understanding!

              • LucretiusCarus

                Too bad for those of us who weren't Chivers back then.

                Go Bruins!

                • dude miller

                  yea, u lost out- LG is smokin-

                • Truth

                  Nah, you weren't missing much!

                  • Always Last

                    She's really good at pretending that she isn't/hasn't been a professional model (i.e. she erased her modelmayhem account, got collegehumor to delete her posts and even got theChive to delete some of her previous submissions and comments in the "comments" section. To what end? No idea. Guess security clearances could be jeopardized by someone who posts her half nude pictures all over the internet and attempts to garner attention anyway she can. Probably DHS and private contracting companies frown on that kind of behavior and recognize it as a liability. But, you know the saying – once it's on the internet it will NEVER go away.

        • cannonball967

          OMFG! I just laughed so hard that I loved in my pants.

      • Bullet Knuts

        Thats how I met my wife. I took a break from dating, and BOOM, there she was. Things have been awesome ever since.

        Ashley, don't change yourself to fit someone else's image, you'll be complete when you find the one that loves you for who you are. You might crush on/love this guy, but trust me, the ol saying is true, "There are plenty of fish in the sea."

        Best of luck with this situation, and best of luck when the zombie apocalypse happens.

    • Friend him, Date me

      Forget all the other "or me" people. I"ll change myself for you. Want me in a J.crew button up ? DONE!, want me in yoga pants? DONE! I would quit my job as a Astronaut Cowboy Billionaire for you.

    • Paul

      Ill Bet he is Married..

    • ...

      Don't give the milk away and he'll have to buy the cow. The slender, sexy, hot cow that is…

    • http://www.facebook.com/dpuckett23 Daniel_Puckett

      Do what makes you happy. Screw everyone else.

      • Jen

        i love you, daniel puckett.

    • Just a thought

      To be devil's advocate. In the guy's perspective, this is kind of a creepy thing to do. Post about him on a website trying to get him to love you. Like at first I agreed with everyone. He should swoop on her before she gets taken but I thought about the situation. Everyone thinks this chick is hot, but no one knows if she is sane. She could be Lorena Bobbit crazy. Who posts revealing photos on the internet to get a guy. I'm just trying to point out that we have only heard her side of the story.

      • Finally

        Excellent point. It is true that there are crazy women out there. I'd like to hear his side in a post tomorrow.

        • Barry McKokkinner

          I'd just like to counter-point that crazy girls (just short of homicidal) can be even more amazing in bed. But I agree, love to see his point of view in all this.

      • idstillhitit

        yah sounds like a girl thats WAAAY too used to getting what she wants. Probably a super sl#t!

        Ive heard she has been around and around

      • http://lehighdesigns.com Sarcastic Prick

        Are you kidding me?!? If Lorena Bobbit looked like this bombshell, I'd be all over that too! DOOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! You better come to your senses before she comes to hers!!

    • Ginj

      1) Ginger
      2) Zombies
      3) Literature+ zombies+ beautiful
      4) Body= nectar of Heaven
      5) Did I mention Ginger?
      6) Bro, she's CHANGING herself for you. That's love. Accept her the way she is. Because dayum..

      PUT A RING ON THAT SHIT

      • http://www.facebook.com/lexbarron2007 Lex Williams

        nailed it except the changing herself part… that's not love, that's just plain stupid. she's obviously never gonna have a healthy relationship with that tool, she just needs to ditch him.

    • https://www.facebook.com/smartinez08 Saul Martinez

      woah did i miss somethings 😦

      #13 #14 my fav

      • jeff donuts

        beautiful ass

      • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1073490099 Taylor Scott Mills

        Agreed. Marry me please?

    • stuntrider502

      Or me!

    • http://www.theChive.com Rusty_Dreams

      Or me!!!

      • Boobies

        Or ME!!!!

    • bobby

      or me

    • Hendo

      I doubt you're gonna scroll all the replies, but here's my two cents: if you gotta change anything about yourself, and I mean ANYTHING, then homeboy ain't worth it. That sh*t never works. You'll be happy for about a minute until the J Crew shopping trips, and mimosa brunches start pissing you off. Trust me, when he's taking you to see the Notebook for the 20th time and telling you the Romero filmfest is for kids and losers, you'll realize sh*t ain't working. When's the last time he did something you want to do? BESIDES f*cking. You're better off without him. Be happy with who you are and get someone who wants to be with that. He'll come running when he knows he f'd up but hopefully it'll be too late. I'll step off my soapbox now.

    • ThatOneNerdGuy

      I believe we have a winner in Mr. Jamison.

    • Gotta be fresh.

      For every hot girl out there, there is a guy thats tired of fvcking her.

    • Callo Hinst

      1801 thumbs up and counting…you sir, have one the internet.

    • its_forge

      Or m-what am I saying I'm married. He's an idiot, what do you want with an idiot = )

    • titttyphuck

      1 of the most beautiful girls in the world…d'ok man these Chive fucks who post on the 1st page are such losers-

      • http://twitter.com/GamerKitty84 @GamerKitty84

        she sounds *and Looks* awesome.

        He sounds like a real boring turd.

        Get a hot Nerd Boyfriend. Believe me, they are awesome too 😉

    • josh novak

      agree the red was way better

    • Ben Yankin

      You guys are clearly missing it. You think any straight or normal guy would turn down a chick like this if there wasn't something wrong? Lost their V-card to each other. She changed her lifestyle and the way she dresses for him. She posted on the chive to get his attention. I call psycho…thats just me but I bet this chick is a stage 100 clinger and absolutely crazy. Otherwise she wouldn't be begging for this guys attention on The Chive.

      With that being said I would cut off a toe to have sex with her.

    • mykel

      ya seriously rule #1 dont change

      • cryocardio

        agreed you should never have to change who you are to be with any one. If he does not come around he is not worth your time.

    • Nom Nom Nom

    • Jedidiah

      Seriously, I agree with this for the most part. Obviously none of us know all the information, but from what you have provided here is my advice.

      This guy has some sort of issue.. mentally. If you two have been this good of friends for this long, and you are this attractive, he would literally be insane to not want to try a real thing and put a ring on you! I mean it boggles my mind! Anyone and everyone knows that the person you marry should be your best friend, and if you don't know that you're not ready for it. Sounds to me like he has the perfect girl, and is completely oblivious to that fact.

      YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT! You deserve better. I mean obviously you're head over heels for him so if he comes around thats great, but if he does not don't let it bother you. You'll find another amazing guy, no doubt in my mind!

    • bill fucking murray

      Fuck yeah buddy! made my day

    • Cryocardio

      Something is seriously wrong with this guy to not even give you a chance. Your beautiful, amazing body and you like sic-fi . what more could he possibly want? Maybe he is gay ?

    • HotashNerd

      Guys that are afraid of commitment are a waste of time, move on hot sister

    • matsonjb

      As they said, this guy needs to accept you or is or you lose who you are. You should never have to do this. If he doesn't accept you for who you are and love you as is then it is not meant to be. You need to find the person that accepts you and loves every part of you as the thirsty love every drop of water. Keep your head up and change back to yourself, what you feel comfortable in.

    • Tim

      I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but if any man denies you that is because they are playing you. YOU need to realise he is not worth your time and you can have any man that is man enough to love only you. K.C.C.O.

    • Steve

      I second that! Love who you are, if they dont fkUC Em.

    • lowercasetron

      i feel as if this chick knew exactly what we were all going to say before she even put this up here. "beautiful" "ditch him" "hes blind" bla bla. theres a fine line between modesty and attention searching. one of those is a quality you dont want mixed up with.

    • corey

      your zombie makeup made me tear up a little! lol just smack him one good time!!!

  • Taylor

    forget this guy, i'll love you!!

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      Yes! Fall in love with total strangers from the internet! Wait…..that's not as funny as it would have been five years ago…..dating sites and what have you.

    • pony boys suck

      Taylor desperately wants to lose his v-card…so sad

      • total derp

        if u thumbed up Taylor or thumbed down pony u desperately need 2 get laid…

    • Radu

      hahaha genius man …

    • ewqhasa

      #3, is that a wedding ring?

      • Julie

        OH SHIT

  • Sarah

    #10

    Anybody who takes you shopping a J Crew is not looking out for your best interests. I don't mean this the wrong way, but is it possible this guy might be batting for the other team?

    • Bill S.

      Couldn't agree more. Anyone who cares for someone wouldn't shop at J crew.

    • He's dumb as shit

      I second this! What guy prefers a shirt on a girl that buttons all the way up to the neck and shows no curves at all!? Be you!

      • Eon

        You only usually button those shirts all the way up to the neck if you're wearing a tie. Both men and women usually leave a button or two undone if you're not wearing a tie.

    • http://www.facebook.com/stoutat Andy Stout

      methinks he might prefer men?

      • total derp

        all of the backwoods Chivers are out today…just bc he shops @ J Crew doesn't determine his sexuality…u don't think this girl would know if he's gay?!?

        • derp totally

          Says the fag wearing the J-Crew shirt.

          • an actual gay guy

            hey John- u remove racial slurs but you'll allow this homophobic bullshit? Thanks asshole-

        • Eon

          I don't get the problem with J.Crew. I mean I work there in the warehouse and everything. My ex wears J.Crew and I would take her to use my monthly discounts on her. I even have a few things myself.

    • Karlos

      I was going to suggest the same thing.

    • http://twitter.com/shade219 @shade219

      Ladies, you are disappointing me here. Two things everyone should know about guys:

      1) We have no sense of fashion. If we take you shopping ANYWHERE…be warned

      2) A button up shirt on a girl can be extremely sexy!
      *Especially if you are willing to let your man unbutton it later

      • F3n1x187

        An she is certainly rocking it!

      • Hrt

        You mean "…… Only when all the buttons are undone".

      • fashion boy

        LOSER!

    • Darrell

      OMG, I literally spit my drink up when I read this comment! LOL

    • frankie

      dude is gay for sure

    • John

      If the girl is hot/sexy enough.. She'll look hot in a button up.. Look at her in that pic. She still hot and u can still see her curves.. And maybe u don't know how to wear a button up. No one should wear it buttoned all the way up, guys or girls. Also, if a guy wants to wear j crew or similar clothes.. It doesn't mean he's gay it means he wants to dress a certain way. Some girls like it. Other girls like guys that wear tank tops and half their ass is hanging out. Some guys want to be with a girl that doesn't look like a slut all the time but can be whens she wants to. Lol In summary, the previous comments were fucking stupid .

      Also fuck that guy. It's dumb to spend 8 years "loving" someone and not be able to commit. Get over him and find someone ready for a real relationship if that's what ur looking for. If not not keep fucking and KCCO

    • badass

      sounds like a fag to me

    • CoreyClu

      That's some funny shit right there…

    • Franky

      Agreed

    • Hank

      WTF JCrew is sweet. You're a dyke.

    • https://www.facebook.com/IFindYourLackOfFaithDisturbing Caedus FaLk

      you look so fuccin' gorgeous in this picture

  • craig

    If you were my booger… Id pick you first.

    • Fing

      I mean, this girl is super hot and seems cool. But I cant be the ONLY one who sees just a littleeeeee bit of crazy in her eyes?

      She is obviously a bomb shell – he knows this. No guy is THAT stupid. There must be mitigating circumstances IMO.

      • captain obvious

        Uhhhh – yeah it takes a "special" girl to try and get her man by exposing her body to the world of the internet – danger danger danger!

        • Unpetitesalut

          yea i agree. Its her hair guys. Her hair is all messed up and overly done.

      • trill

        this chick is batshit nuts. if you get with her, she'll stab you if you even look at another girl

      • http://twitter.com/drhawks @drhawks

        this is the truth. Think about any girl you've EVER rejected… if you randomly went to your favorite site and you saw that said girl had done this… pretty sure she'd have to be crazy.

    • Jnolan

      If she was my booger I'd eat her

  • TFred

    Honey, you cant fix stupid. You'd look better with me anywho 😉

    • d1sturbed91

      For every awesome girl out there, theres some dumbass too stupid to realize what he has. It never fails

      • MariaSky100

        Truer words have never been spoken. Amen.

        • TRG

          The opposite is true too… for every awesome guy out there, there is a girl taking him for granted…

          • ^^^^^^^

            Lonely boy.

    • Mr. H

      or me…

  • Robert

    For the love of god. Why is he not dating you!!!!!!

    • john

      she is probably cray

    • intmid8or

      cause he can tap her, no strings attached

      • TheCureForHope

        Exactly… it's not "girl asking a boy to unfriendzone her", it's a girl posting pictures of her butt online in hopes that he decides he decides he wants more than to bump "whenever he's in town".

        Shit is cray cray for sure. http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs112

        Either way, she hot though… I think we can agree that the real winners are the chivers enjoying this post.

      • rockstar_323

        Exactly. Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free? They may be friends, even best friends, but in the end, she is just a booty call, assuming "these amazing dates" end with sex. He already knows what she is like in bed and what she is like in a relationship. The only way he will end up starting a relationship with her is if she is a last resort because he knows she loves him and can have her whenever he wants.

        • Dick Salad

          Exactly what I was thinking before I looked at this dumb post… if your theory isn't correct the only other thing it could be is that this is some fabricated story to get more attention. Broads do stupid shit like this all the time on theChive when they crave attention.

          There are men in this world that don't want to be in a relationship and have uncommitted sex with multiple women. I know it might be hard to grasp for the average guy that would marry any random chick because she's remotely good looking.

          • acdc

            maybe he has the gay…..nothing wrong with that…..

    • piggy

      2 reasons – #1, this is fake and the girl just wants attention (probable) . #2 – the guy she is friends with is gay.

      • http://twitter.com/itsjaredlol @itsjaredlol

        #3 – she is fucking insane.

        Evidence – Exhibit A: She is hot as all hell. Exhibit B: She is crying for attention on a popular website.

    • Zack Lee

      Manic Pixie Dream Girl, that's why…

    • who cares

      She can't fix gay.

  • Shviddy

    #13 AMAZING

    • boll

      as much as i love a good hump i dunno if id want to date a girl that didnt mind showing her ass on a website…shes probly a great girl to roll around with but maybe not girlfriend material….just sayin

      • Jake

        Agreed.

        • thom

          I would agree too. I enjoy seeing TnA on sites, but wouldn't like my GF posting herself on them. Big turn off for me. I know we are in the minority here, and will get thumbs-downed.

          • Chivette

            I'm probably gonna get a lot of thumbs down too, but oh well! Here goes … it seems acceptable, having a boyfriend or not, to post these types of photos on the chive. Why don't you want your girlfriend posting pics? You don't want a bunch of guys drooling over your girl? Then why are you on the chive drooling over other guys' girlfriends, as I am sure a lot of them are not single. Seems like a double standard. KEEP ON ASHLEY!

            • Marios145

              I was going to reply with some counter-arguments…but i'm only going to say this.
              Even Barney(himym) cant stand having a gf stripper

              • onekelevra

                A women have the same right, and I have to say that Chiving is Legen-wait for It-dary

    • a1steaksauce

      Dude is obviously gay to pass up on that

      • Gotta be fresh.

        Or he can get better than this crazy attention whore….

  • AssClown

    WTF is wrong with this guy?!?! I mean look at #11 and #13:

    • anony

      behind every hot chick is a guy sick of bangin her

      • The_Stif

        While that is true, why in the world wouldnt you choose this one to get tired of. she is gorgeous and seems interesting. at least worth giving it a shot right? I think so.

        • anony

          Obviously he knows something we dont… or hes prob dating someone else and she just doesnt know it

          • anony

            and shes prob a little bit coo coo with this post? i dont know any girls that would do a post like this

            • stops

              so much truth in this. don't stick your dick in crazy.

          • The_Stif

            I'm with ya man. we all want what we don't have, and then are tired of what we do. Visual appeal does only get you so far.

            • anony

              bingo

        • steph

          didn't they already give it a shot?

          • The_Stif

            well they confessed their boners for each other. but he still wont get serious with her. thats what i meant.

    • Kilgore Trout

      DAMN!!!

    • Marcos Andre

      Nothing wrong with him. He fucks her as much as he wants, but she won't be able make him expend all his money with her or make his life complete hell because he left the toilet seat up.

  • Buckeye

    #11 she wears yoga pants. That's reason enough to date her in my book!

    • The_Stif

      I wish I could give you 100 thumbs ups.

      • Buckeye

        Thanks man

    • rich

      c'mon people! let's chip in! give ol' buckeye a thumbs up! get him to 100!

    • its_forge

      Not just she wears yoga pants, she has a tight, firm, round little hiney.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002265722490 Steve Wohlgemuth

      Looking like that in yoga pants is enough reason

  • Hook

    #13,Nice ledge.

    • Admiral Ackbar

      Yes, nice ledge but it should be used as Exhibit A in the case of the crazy stalker! I refer to Barney Stinson's Hot to Crazy scale, ie. the hotter the girl the crazier she is. She not only changes her looks for him, but she chases after him and frequents the places he visits most, ahem, The Chive!

      Don't get me wrong, she's hot, super hot, but in Dude's defense he's already had her and sounds like he can have her anytime he wants. So why buy the cow is all I'm saying, especially when the cow is clearly crazy.

      In the immortal words of James Brown, "I don't know Karate, but I know Ka-razy"!

      Never more pertinent than now………."It's a Trap!"

      • Hook

        Indeed, just by the strain on her face (to maximize the arch)tells me she's puttin it all out there.She shoulda just looked over her shoulder with her mouth open.

    • slade

      so hes also blind u need a guy whos gonna treat u like aqueen

    • eric

      i hate to agree with everyone here cause if u care that much for him then u mite want to wait but u shouldnt have to change u to be with him especially not when u look as good as u do. hope its not ur personality that makes him just want to be friends

  • dochandy

    #5 how in the name of all that is holy did this beauty get friendzoned?!?!?!?!

    • this is a fake story

      Apparently someone, somewhere is tired of her shit.

      • pony boys suck

        I know, all these desperate fucks don't realize that attractive women can be crazy as shit and sometimes its just not worth it-

        • dochandy

          desperate? just appreciating a hot chick. fuck off.

    • Juiol

      She isn't friendzoned, she's fuckzoned. Aka, hot girl, nice, just not girlfriend material.
      And I'ld guess the guy is right. She just posted a bunch of sexy pictures online. "our kids will love to find this one day"

      • dochandy

        i hear you. fuckzoned is a dangerous line to walk. i just like looking at her.

    • true story

      bc she's a psycho, u can tell just by looking at her <—- a guy who's actually dated some1 after high school

      • Nate Higgers

        yeah no shit… its flattering to think she wants him back but methinks he knows that being with someone who's bonkers just makes you wind up miserable. Hot, Stable, Intelligent: Pick two.

        • sadman

          I accused my wife of trying to poison me and she said, "I would cut your throat with a knife. It's more personal." Pick hot and intelligent and always keep u your guard!

        • dude miller

          couldn't have said it better myself Natey boy!

      • dochandy

        nobody said she isn't nuts. just saying she's hot and should at LEAST be fuckzoned (as mentioned above). <——– a guy who's actually dated more than some1 after high school…

    • trill

      she's nutty, that's why – the guy is tired of dating psychos

    • https://www.facebook.com/speedy187 Isaac Alburto

      obviously she's batshit insane. Woman, especially attractive women can't resist what they can't have. It's a curse on them i believe it has something to do with Eve from the bible but that's just my opinion. To each his own.

    • Andrew

      Isn't it usually the other way around…?

  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001896957515 David Chester

    OMG……………what the hell?????????? Is he blind or just plain stupid????????????

    • getalife

      He is not a loser like the virgin chivers ,he has tapped this slut and prolly has better chics after him as well.

      • andfukyamoms

        bitch is obviously a psycho and he's trying to fuck other girls. What's the big mystery?

        • anony

          haha these guys know whats up, spot on

          • Bollyver

            Ashley, has a smokin hot body, but appears to be boarder line emo. That can complicate things.

  • whyme1973

    #11 #13 Unfriendzone and never let this one go. What a cool, hot chick…with an amazing ass, I might add.

    • truth

      nice shitter

  • stuey

    Hot chick in the friend zone? Hmm… def mental issues.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      OR! He's secretly Squirtle and can have a hot chick cuz…….fuck it….this is stupid

    • Owen Smithers

      This was my first suspicion. You're def pretty, but believe it or not, most dudes need stability in the attic. Craziness quickly overwhelms good looks.

      • Web2992

        #5 #9 #14 Crazy eyes.

    • MeMe

      My first thought as well… This bitch is crazy

    • yherth

      Yea, we need video to confirm!

    • randomness

      Maybe in the amount of time since you guys lost it together, he got it cut off.

    • GlibTongue

      Agreed.

      Chick wants to unfriendzone guy who has commitment issues and doesn't want to fight. So…embarasses him by going on his favourite web-site and putting up a pictorial post, saying 'Maybe he'll realize what he's missing out on?'

      If you lost your 'you know whats' together, then he's been there, and knows what you have. 8 years pining for the same guy, and your first move is to post on a web-site?

      Hot, but a whole lotta crazy right there.

    • Michelle

      I'd say mental issues or gay… shoot, I'd go lesbo for this chick. lol

      • SombreNoirceur

        See… Even women are crazy for this girl! The guy's only deserving to lose his woman for another girl! ha!
        Cheers!

    • Jazzy

      Mental issues on whos behalf? him or her? hmmm…

  • cantreadgood

    You're hot.

    • http://www.salon.com/2001/01/23/monogamy_2/ TylerDurden

      someone mentioned it earlier here: – he thinks he can do better. And really who can blame him, you popped his cherry and he needs to sow his wild oats. To the guy, dude I was in your shoes, I dated a very pretty gal for 5-6 years and she wanted marriage, but she was my first and there was no way I was going to step into a marriage knowing that I still had desires to "conquer" and tame other females; it's human nature. I ultimately broke up with her cause she gave me an ultimatum and I bounced. She got married and divorced, and moral of the story here is no matter how cute this girl is (notice i said cute, not HOT, like all these love-starved chivers…let's be honest u are simply cute, nothing more no less). Someone somewhere is tired of a girl- regardless of her looks. To the girl, date other guys and he will react. To the guy, if she dates other guys and you react just know it's a reaction and you need to process it, shes not your property, yeah it feels like it cause you "pissed on it" like a dog would, but be honest to her and more importantly yourself…you want to have your cake and eat it too. Ps. if you really love this boy, give him a hall pass to F*CK as many girls as he can this summer, and if he comes back to you then he's yours; he's gonna do that anyways. Ahh the joys and troubles of 22 year olds.

  • shawthomas

    #14
    There is a lots of Chivers out there too, and we are great people. Hence the chive attitude…… Just saying. Hope it works out for ya but if not KCCO

    • John

      well-said, shawthomas.

      • Keving

        My thoughts exactly!

  • Horndog

    I'd hit it.

    • Yosef

      2 times!

    • andfukyamoms

      I'd definitely pee in her butt

      • jeff donuts

        ill cum in her ass

  • Julie

    You my dear, are a badass bitch.

    chive the fuck on, and props for being this ballsy, chivettes are sooo the best ❤ 🙂 If he doesnt get his head on straight after this, idk what else would do the trick

    • itstrue

      Whores gonna whore.

      • Julie

        how does that have anything to do with what i posted

        • Martin_McFly

          He is not a fan of Chivettes, and is most probably gay.

          • Keving

            So is itstrue!

        • itstrue

          Because you're a whore…whore.

          • Martin_McFly

            It is never cool, under any circumstance, with or without any "truth" that you think you might possess, to call a girl a whore… Never.

            • Keving

              No shit!

          • Julie

            haters gonna hate

            • GlibTongue

              That's such a weak reply. Everyone says that now a days. It's absolutely retarded.

              • nOTsWAG

                calm down, beiber.

    • Backseat Chiver

      well, if he is thinking she is too clingy or overbearing, this seals the batshitcrazy opinion.

      If he is just a coward, now he knows how big a coward he really is and prob doesn;t deserve her anyways.

      If he is just a callous keep her for the sweet ass type of guy, she lost the battle 8yrs ago.

      But kudos to her for having the balls to put it out there. I hope it works for her. I hope it makes her happy. However, i see all kinds of red flags here.

      good luck is what i say to her. If he balks walk and move on. She is far to young and hot and interesting to waste anymore years.

    • http://twitter.com/mayerjacoby @mayerjacoby

      JULIE SHUT YOUR HOLE SHUT IT OW

      • Martin_McFly

        THAT'S SEXIST!

      • Julie

        DONT FUCKING SAY THAT TO ME, YOU RACIST FUCK

    • LucretiusCarus

      You lot have totally been hoodwinked. I'd bet dollars to donuts that this "I changed for this guy" stuff is total BS and she just wanted to get a featured full post.

      Epic attention whoring. Well done.

      • Always Last

        Absolutely agree. What woman (notice I didn't say girl) would change everything about herself for some guy who's been dropping loads in her for 8 years and not committed? This is another example of some "professional model and/or wannabe hollywood makeup artist" trying to get promotion and attention. Kinda reminds me of the HOPA and Virgin texts her Dad shit theChive did in the earlier days. Dimes to Dollars it's all made up by another attention-seeking woman who can't afford any other PR.

  • vagabundo

    What the mother fuck. I just un friend zoned you. Done and done.

    • vagabundo

      Bring back the RED!!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001773696515 Demi

        IS THIS MR. CHIVE THAT RED HOTT IS TRYING TO GET UNFRIENDED BY?

  • MICHAEL

    Never change yourself for anyone! You will only regret it!

    • https://www.facebook.com/justinsargood1 Justin Sargood

      Thumbs for this guy! you shouldn't have to change everything about yourself to get someone's attention.

      And who doesn't love a girl who's into zombies? seriously?

    • Repene

      Agreed. She used to be a redheaded, zombie, rocker and she changed it all just so this wimpy pussy fellow (pardon my french) would be more comfortable with her looks.
      Also, as Justin pointed out, the girl loves zombies plus she has mad skills making one.
      Imagine that, I'd realize one of my greatest fantasy. To make sweet love to a zombie without getting eaten.

    • JHL1

      Actually, it is good to change for someone, yourself. I always strive to make myself a better person, healthier, wiser, etc. It is a good thing. It's called growth. And if she truely wants a relationship, that means there will be give and take, compromise. That implies change, and it too is a good thing.
      That said, I do agree that one should not make too many changes for one person, especially if the reason is just to make someone like you more. Again, it should be give and take on both parties involved.

  • Dieison

    seems legit.

    • MOAR

      I agree. I think the chive is trying to pull a fast one on us. I don't buy it.

    • Cool story bro

      Yep.

    • DCD

      lmao I was about to post my own "FAKE" comment, but your sarcasm did it better.

  • Martin_McFly

    If, after this post, he does not give you the fair chance you deserve — kick him in the balls and seek a man, not a boy.

    • Julie

      • Martin_McFly

        Why hello there, my Romanian Prinţesă!

        • Julie

          we meet again!

          • Martin_McFly

            indeed! What shall we discuss today? History? Most influential battle of WWII…. BEGIN!

            • facepalm

              Forever Alone.

              • Julie

                how about the swimming patterns of dolphins?

                • Martin_McFly

                  Ah, well did you know that play is an important part of dolphin culture? Dolphins actually enjoy playing with seaweed of all things and of course the occasional play-fight with other dolphins. The best part is that they even harass other local creatures, like seabirds and turtles. Most of all, dolphins enjoy riding waves and frequently surf coastal swells and the bow waves of boats, at times “leaping” between the dual bow waves of a moving catamaran. Dolphins… amazing creatures.

                  • JHL1

                    I can't believe that many people thumbed you two down. When I get tired of a conversation in the comments I just Keep Calm and Scroll On.

    • Steve Buffington

      I agree. If this DA doesn't catch on after this, he doesn't deserve you. He is apparently emotionally retarded… and blind.

    • Patches

      Why is he a boy and needing to man up? He rejected her and now she's gone on the internet, posting pictures of herself in a thong and trying to get random strangers to guilt him into dating her. Sounds to me like she's the one who needs to grow up. He doesn't want to date her, she needs to stop pouting and stamping her feet, and move the fuck on.

      • Will

        HERE ENJOY THIS DAMN THUMBS UP!

      • iswhatitis

        Hear Hear!

        I really think there alot of people on here that don't get that maybe you don't want to be with a person and it doesnt matter if they are a hot zombie lover. Chances are also good that once she has this boy she has been pining over for 8 years, it just won't be as good as the build-up. Right now he is unattainable, what happens afterwards?

        This would sort of frighten me from a gal pal I had given reasons to for not wanting to be with her.

    • Jazzy

      It takes a really well rounded person to 'not' judge someone -whether it be appearance, personal issues, etc.

  • the cowboy

    i bet the chive changes his mind, hang in there…….but seriously if this doesnt work find a new chiver!…maybe a cowboy

  • Mr. Tea

    An interesting situation. The best things in life are worth the risk. Best of luck. 😀

  • tDub

    #14
    You need to move on…. you're hot, unique, and talented… too many out there to sit around and wait for this tool….

    • John

      Damn, the boy must be an idiot!!o.0

    • T-Rip

      Agree…he sounds like a tool trying to change you into someone other than yourself. Also sounds like he's getting what he wants from you without committing to you. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

    • Ryan

      I'm pretty sure its his turn to create a post that proves why he even deserves a chance after dangling you on the hook this long.

blog comments powered by Disqus