New advances in hipster technology (20 Photos)

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  • jerald

    first

    • Dexter!

      People would think you were cool for posting "first" if there weren't so many fucking ads on this site!

      They should change their slogan to: "Probably the slowest site on the interwebs because of all of the damn ads!"

      • Jawbone

        No matter what this site changes, up to and including the angle of the Earth, no one will ever think "first" is cool. Unless you're a douchebag.

      • God

        It's slow because of the people on here not the ads

  • Ron Burgundy?

    This is just plain weak… #5

    • Dexter!

      "Weak". Another one of those douche words….like, "moar", "sick" and "viral". Please refrain from using these words on the "slowest site on the interwebs (because of all the damn ads)."…also known as TheChive.

      • Not Dexter!

        Are you retarded?

        • Dexter!

          Ask your mom…as of last night, she apparently thinks my name is, "oh god!".

          • Fall

            Was she busy changing your diapers last night?

            • jjj

              HAHAHA sick chirp

      • Mellow Mike

        "Weed". Another one of those drugs that just chills you out. Try it sometime.

    • b3nje909

      He's just a poor struggeling artist who can't express himself with modern technology. There is no emotion in technology, no passion, it's so lifeless…. I think I'm gonna cry

    • roadhog0

      You just gotta love Corvallis, OR!

  • rysimi8

    first!

    • Petesy

      and you STILL don't matter to the Chive…

      • rysimi8

        I know…

  • Martin_McFly

    #2 Okay.. there is a small part of me that does indeed think this is a pretty badass mixture of old vs new.

    • http://twitter.com/theterryburke @theterryburke

      yeah me to. kinda like something from a movie

    • dedonkey

      Yup,have to admit myself its cool,if its touch screen would be better but pointless,in the hipster way….

      • http://www.countingposts.com dutch

        it is touchscreen. that's an ipad jammed in there.

      • Dane

        Common… You didn't know that was an iPad? Lol

  • Dexter!

    CHIVE- Seriously! Get rid of some of these freaking ads. I don't think you could possibly fit anymore on a page, and it bogs my shit down!!!!

    THANKS.

    • acupofjoe

      Stop using dial up.

    • Just Sayin'

      Chrome – Ad Blocker – https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/gighmmp

      Done

    • Nick

      There's this thing called Adblock Plus that, wait for it, blocks ads…
      Available for Firefox and Chrome.

      • Dexter!

        There's this thing called "not trying to make it rich off of pop up ads". Most webmasters learn this pretty early in life.

        • john

          There's this thing called being an adult and not complaining about small things like a spoiled little child

          • Dexter!

            ….coming from the hypocritical moron as he complains about my post. Don't reply- you make youself look stupid.

            • Jawbone

              You have without a doubt managed to show us all how to look like a whiny fucking idiot.

            • its_forge

              **You** brought it up, douche nozzle.

        • KeepinCalm

          And those webmaster live off of ramen noodles and natty ice 🙂 I'll admit, the audio ads do suck. There are two business models that apply here: 1) Ad supported and free 2) No ads but pay a monthy membership fee. Which would you prefer?

          Use Adblock plus! KCCO

          • Rpoc

            Haha Dexter is a hipster. Go occupy something.

            • Dexter!

              haha Rpoc is a fag. Go suck something.

              • genki desu yo

                rude.

          • Dexter!

            Yeah…you would think that a website that does nothing more than steal photos from around the web, put a watermark on the photos and then post them as their own would be broke as fuck. But…I guess when you have simple minds surfing your site and clicking ads, it's a money maker. Go figure.

            • Chivette

              Welcome to the Internet. You can move on now. Problem solved.

            • KeepinCalm

              yet have time to comment & bitch about ads…go figure

              • Dexter!

                Yep…just like you have time to sit around and think of cool profile names to call yourself. Doesn't get much cooler than, "Keepin'Calm"! You've got to be the most unoriginal bastard in the history of gay people trying to think of cool names to call themselves.

                • http://twitter.com/theterryburke @theterryburke

                  you're no HHNF! take down that picture!

                • KeepinCalm

                  Happy 4th…now gtfo. pls.

            • its_forge

              Hey um, the entire rest of the web is over there >>> you don't have to be here, I swear none of us are forcing you.

        • Lil John

          Yea! For what we members pay for this, it shouldn't have ads! Oh wait…

    • Ricardo Saracino

      disable flash

      • Shiguy

        Second thought "Dexter!" disable your computer and KCCO

        • Dexter!

          You guys can disagree with me all day long, but obviously (at least) 35 people agree with me, or I wouldn't have the thumbs up!

          • its_forge

            Congratulations, you just made me systematically search this entire comment thread for each occurence of your posts and thumbs down every one of them.

            • Dexter!

              Good for you! Can you do me a favor? Log out…sign back in and hit 'em all again for me!? Thanks bra! You ROCK!

            • General Zod

              get a fucking life forge. sucking the chive's dick all day doesn't count.

    • ol' blue

      calm down pussy

      • Dexter!

        ….because it takes a real man to call another man a pussy from behind the safety of the internet. Look out folks, we got a tough guy here!!

        • In yo mouth

          You're a man?

    • OpMongoose

      Fuck-n-A! Get these ads of the mutherfucking chive.

      • Dexter!

        ^^ That's what I'm talkin about!!!^^

      • Silent

        it is different on a mobile device, it's worse.

        • Dexter!

          Thank you, Silent….That's exactly what I'm talking about, but the rest of these little chive-fanboys don't get it.

          • Your dad

            And you're still here, why?

    • Dane

      I think if Dexter doesn't like the website then she should go look somewhere else, otherwise STFU! Nobody cares if you use dial up or are a hipster. Go find a dick to sit on.

      • Jawbone

        Look at the dicksucker profile photo. Of course it's a hipster fag posting.

      • Dexter!

        Dexter is not a girl, as dexter has a very large penis, and is indeed a hipster using dial up on my 14 year old Nokia portable phone. I have nothing better to do today, and it's simply too fucking easy to get Chive fan-boys up in a roar (as they've clearly demonstrated today), so this is what I'm doing.

        • Dane

          Your a boy?????!!!! Lmfao! That just made my day! Haha

          • Dexter!

            The name "Dexter" didn't tip you off?! lol You're aren't the brightest fucking individual, are you?

            • Dane

              I didn't actually think people named there kids Dexter?! That's just asking for punishment. Plus you look like a girl. lol

              • Dexter!

                *Their

              • Diarrhea Handstand

                Bullshit! She's lying her ass off. Look at her pic! That is a girl! Submit a pic baby…I better see you on Burnsday!

                • Lisa

                  The person pictured is a woman…a woman that I know in real life. Her internet name is HellHathNoFury and she used to be a regular here. I seriously doubt that this Dexter! person is HHNF. Her arguments against ads would be more articulate and being as she lives with a computer dude, she would have figured out the ad blocker thing already.

                  Whoever this is that's posting with HHNF's pic, you really need to get out of the fucking basement and find someone to suck on some part of you. It feels nice. The sun might hurt your eyes at first and you should probably wear sunscreen, but c'mon out and get a real life.

                  Maybe some of the douche nozzle juice will wear off of you eventually. :-/ {sigh}

        • Dexter!

          All joking aside though…I do love TheChive…but damn, they need to get rid of these fucking ads! Back in the day about 6 years ago, it wasn't like this. Like everything though, it gets crappier with age I guess. Anyways…carry on, KCCO….leave, peace and afro grease…I'm out! Happy Independence Day!

          • nippleless cage

            Jesus Christ, this person really went off today. I won't lie tho, it was entertaining to read this thread of comments. Obviously Dexter is only on this Page because it's titled "New Advances in Hipster Technology" but i don't think (s)he/it realizes that it's all a joke. Congratulations Dex, you are now my favorite Hypocritical Hipster. (reread her/his comments and notice that she/it/fag is that one that Hides behind the blanket of the internet) LOLZOLOLOL Spoiler Alert Dexter is a fag

            • Punchy B

              First world problem candidate

    • shits weak

      fuuucckkinnggg worrdddd

    • Dexterisafag

      um… get better tech?

  • guthrie

    #18 sick

    • Kev

      Want!!

    • foreverdrunk

      thats actually pretty sweet

    • Ned_Ryerson

      i have one. it was only $2 on ebay

    • Dexter!

      "Sick"- Another one of those "trendy" words that losers who want to be cool have been saying for 2 years now. Words like "sick", "viral" and "moar" have been used the fuck up and should not be used anymore, unless you want to continue to come off as a douche.

      • The Chive

        You seem angry. Is it the ads?

        • Dexter!

          Yes. And a bad sexual experience last night involving a girl, a black guy and a hampster. It hurts.

          • Notmyname

            Awesome!

      • Matty

        …..I must ask, where have you been living for the past decade? People have been saying sick since the 90s, but i must agree, i do hate the use.

      • tapsnapornap

        'cause douche wasn't played out 8 years ago…douche.

    • DK!

      They have 3 packs of these on amazon for $3

    • banderson18

      lol. i actually have one of those laying around here somewhere. they're at claire's at the mall.

  • lastcallsux

    First – I was into this post before it was popular.

    • Petesy

      tight bro

  • http://www.facebook.com/Emaly.Munguia Emaly S. Munguia

    They may be hipster, but damn clever!

  • A.E.

    hahahaha what lames. maybe they should all be sent back in time.

    • jared

      so if you sent a hipster back in time when all this vintage stuff was not even invented yet what would they do? would they have a car like fred flinstone, maybe live in a tent because a house is too main stream. would they rock a monical with out a lens haha. retarded hipsters

  • Martin_McFly

    #9 Hipster? Pfft.. No. Anyone can tell this is custom made which means it either cost a whole lot.. or required the use of manly power tools. Neither of which are familiar to a hipster.

    Also.. my guess is this is the work of Ron Swanson.

    • luke atmydik

      hipsters use daddys trust fund checks all the time…

    • Kristina

      Agreed. This is NOT hipster! Plus, I've seen this before and it's an actual functioning controller. Which is awesome!

  • Dirk

    #10 – If any hipsters have bought this, can I borrow it so I can finally listen to all my albums again? I haven't had a turntable in years.

    • MebbeBebbe

      Seriously. How is this a hipster item? I would love to have a USB turntable to be able to convert a lot of my records to mp3. And no, quite a few of my records have not ever been released on CD or any other format but vinyl.

      • adMANistrator

        Hipster.

      • Brady

        I bet I have never heard of them before either

      • black27696

        I wouldn't jump to a hipster conclusion for him. My dad has a lot of LPs and 45s that don't exist on CD because they just never made it to that format. Plus, it would be cool to rip original albums of classic rock because you get that sweet sweet crackle.

        • socalmarti

          Aaaaaaahhhhh the crackle. Nothing like the sound of crackle!

          • Fuang

            Love it

          • the credible hulk

            I thought it was a great day when I could finally hear music without radio static or LP noise trashing the music. That wonderful old LP sound is bull shit.

    • ravingmadreader

      The sell them at Brookstone. I know, I used to work there.

    • Ger

      needledoctor.com has just about any kind of turntable you could ever want, including some absolutely ridiculous models for the same price you might expect to pay for a nice home…

    • Simon

      They've been out quite a while and aren't that expensive (here). There's also some with built in cassette players in. I didn't see this as a hipster item at all.

  • boobman

    Hipsters are hip

  • http://www.facebook.com/dangatlin Daniel Gatlin

    #10 is actually pretty cool. I have some old records I'd like put on my iPod, and no none of it is "hipster" music. Classic rock and country.

    • Macro

      Creedence!

      • http://www.facebook.com/dangatlin Daniel Gatlin

        I do have them!

  • Verbal_Kint

    fucking hipsters…

  • tv_paul

    #16 This ones not so bad, it's just repurposing something that serves no other use anymore. The only other thing you can use them for is to level out wobbling furniture legs.

  • SpacemanSpiff

    for the record I use #12 and I'm as organized as my wife, no joke dude, it's damn better than my smartphone

  • fattypratty

    Nothing hipster douchey about #9. That is just cool.

  • fuck you

    fagot ass hipsters and iphone users

    • fattypratty

      You spelled your derogatory word for homosexuals wrong. Such a hipster thing to do.

    • Jonny Pats

      Rockin' a flip phone? So hipster.

      • Jawbone

        Now, sugar, we all know that you can spell "faggot" better than that. Your mommy will be so angry that you're on her computer trying to look all grown up.

  • https://www.facebook.com/GnomieJ Mitch Japczyk

    Why did the hipster burn his mouth eating pizza?

    Because he ate it before it was cool.

    • adMANistrator

      Nice. Why do hipsters like whole bean coffee?

      Because it's so underground.

  • Peter

    These hipster "innovations" take far too much effort to bother with but they have free time I guess.

  • Sade

    #1 Fucking hipsters! xD

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000201440442 OskАЯz zwЭjА

      thats Flume's synth ha

  • https://www.facebook.com/adam.moore.7169 Adam Moore

    #10 is legitimately a useful product. I can finally copy all of my Bon Iver records to my Macbook Pro.

  • thehypoman

    Does anyone at TheChive even know what the word "hipster" means? Apart from the pointless iPhone accessories and a select couple (I'm looking at you man trailer), some of the things are creative, innovative and just plain rad. They should have just taken the iPhone accessories and made a gallery called "iPhone Accessories for Hipsters".

  • kevguy

    most of these are pretty neat, however by calling these 'hipster' they look less appealing and easy to ridicule.

  • PubicJones

    Hipsters are lame fucking trends.

    • Jawbone

      I didn't know people could be trends. Better to post that they're pathetic fucking caricatures of a stupid fucking trend.

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