I have so many questions (32 Photos)

  • cantcme

    #7 Thomas Crapper pioneered the use and poopularity of the the modern toilet in the late 1800's. Since then, trillions of craps have been taken.

    • Iceman2509

      That is a rip off of a Beavis quote.

      • Tom

        …which is a ripoff of a George Carlin quote.

        • jimmy jam

          aahhh…. thank you. glad i read these first before posting. George was the best.

    • SOhioChiver

      And I guess "Ben Shittin" invented the first roll of toilet paper.

    • Jen

      poopularity, haha!

    • P90

      Thomas Crapper didn't invent the modern flushing toilet he invented the ballcock. On his 'wiki' page it also gives the history of the word 'Crap' and it has nothing to do with him.

    • Evan

      i dont give a shit who takes a crap

    • Silverstone

      Golly, Mr. History Lesson Man, thanks. But that WASN'T THE OP's QUESTION!!!

  • jimctu

    #10 Even zombie has its rights.<img src="http://rj.revolvermaps.com/h/b/26/9do6egcg8eu.png&quot; width="1"/>

    • guest

      Didn't you know, with Obamacare even Zombies get free health care !!!!

      • socalmarti

        As will straw men.

      • spook01


    • Anomanom

      Everyone can get coverage under the patient affordable care act.

    • Silverstone

      Another thing…why all the different kinds of huge guns to kill zombies? Save hundreds of dollars and just break their legs with a 2 X 4


    #5 RIP, Mitch Hedberg still my favorite comedian.

    • TheBAMFinater

      Sad, I never heard of him until he died. He was awesome.

    • Lunch_Box

      I'm a pretty good racquetball player, but I'll never be as good as the wall, it's relentless.

      • Shockteck


      • IamAwesome

        You totally screwed that up man. Tennis. It's tennis for Christ's sake.

        • Lunch_Box

          Was going from memory, haven't heard the joke in years and I play racquetball, so sue me.

    • bmak

      That is one guy who saw the world through a different perspective. "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall"

      • IamAwesome

        I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless.

    • asdasd

      Mitch Hedberg is gone. Bill Hicks is gone. George Carlin is gone…. why the fuck is Andrew Dice Clay still around?!

      • http://4chan.org/b/ gnocco

        anyone see the movie 'God Bless America' (its on Netflix)? the main character is reminiscent of Bill Hicks, great movie.

        • ThatGuy

          Its kind of a shit movie.

    • Boom

      "Bush, search party of three, you can eat when you find the Dufresnes."

    • osirisoflight

      I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up.

    • R.I.P. Mitch

      "I used to do drugs…..I still do but I used to too"

    • bigd

      im against picketing, but i dont know how to show it….

    • Levian

      To hell with purple people! Unless they're choking. Then help em!

    • Big Joe

      There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips.

    • dali

      Pretty funny guy. Though your belt holds up your pants via the loops.

      • https://www.facebook.com/marshall.ladd Marshall Ladd

        Then put your belt on without putting it through the loops and see what happens.

    • goatpunch

      My favorite is, "I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would be really mad if she heard me say that"

    • Kato

      Man, I love his cameo in Lords of Dogtown. RIP Mitch, you're missed here on Earth.

    • Shockteck

      Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier'n helpin' 'em move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.

    • Suck on that

      Fucking hipsters will ruin Mitch

    • IamAwesome

      • Ride

        "I drink Orange Juice with Vodka. It's like Vitamin C that kicks your ass!"

        Has been my weekend breakfast routine since 🙂

  • EcclestJ17

    #1 You can keep your money then.

    • Bubba

      Are you implying anal breathing?

    • crusher44x

      Hell, I'd do it. More convenient and my nick name "Shit Head" would finally make sense!! Double-positive!

    • ps86

      wait are we talking just number one, or both?

  • Ryan

    #18 The new glamour shots…the cheese aisle

    • tv_paul

      Well she looks like a product of dairy. Say "Cheese"

    • Dummy

      Cheese Louise

    • Yeah I said it

      thats straight ratchet

    • tralfaz

      …aaand I just found my new wallpaper.

    • guest

      i think i just became lactose intolerant

      • Fapfapfap

        I found it very appealing to dap to this… Mission complete

    • huskerzfan4life

      she looks like she's full and Constipated with Cheese

  • Popowich

    Shut the fuck up already! Everyday its the same… Try something different if you have to say something!

    • savagecabbage

      Hey Popowich, why don't you shut the fuck up, this man is a genius

      • Popowich

        You have issues too it seems Savagecabbage. You both need to get some help and the sooner the better for the sake of humanity.

        • humm

          Maybe they should 69 each other, problem solved!

      • Popowich

        And how is saying the same shit everyday genius? With morons like you two, there is little hope for this world.

        • _DoC_

          Am I the only one who keeps mistakenly reading your name as "Poopwich"?

          • holyshit

            poopswich is a better way to think of this person.

          • Popowich

            HAHAHA! Its my last name, and I have heard worse, like Pop-a-bitch ect. The list goes on. I'm used to it. Even if I put Pop-a-bitch as my name it would be better than Suck me dry or Savagecabbage…lol anyway KCCO everyone!

            • _DoC_

              I'm giving "Pop-a-bitch" two thumbs up. Make it so.

              • Pop-a-bitch

                done and done hahahahaha!

                • _DoC_


      • _DoC_

        You probably giggle non-stop at the baby mobile above your bed too. I feel sorry for SMD, who I can only but picture as a morbidly obese unemployed virgin who still lives in his mothers basement. His posts are simply a cry for help as no one wants to be his friend. But for people like you who are entertained by something so banal and call it genius, you truly disgust me.

        • Emz

          I'll be his friend. 😦

      • Daniel Tosh

        it's super funny when he writes

        ROFL everytime

    • suck me dry

      Ummmm. Excuse me…..this is the first time I said that. Now suck me all the way off.

      • Bubba

        All the way off you are, no sucking required

      • geo

        SMD has taken over Paula as my favorite troll. No doubt his vocabulary is limited, but he is consistent and for some reason makes me laugh every time.

        • suck me dry

          I am Paula's dried up vagina, I just ran out of stupid things to say so I say this all day long.

      • suck me dry

        Now excuse me, I need to go suck my father completely dry.

  • nelson pancakes

    I am more confused now, than ever before.

  • http://www.dennispikephoto.com Dennis

    I never wanted this post to end

    • Mally

      i have never like a chive post more

      • Mally

        liked even

  • tv_paul

    #1 The Adventures of Pete & Pete. Still one of the best & craziest shows ever on TV(that and Twin Peaks)

    • http://www.facebook.com/cassandra.boulanger Cassandra Boulanger

      wooo twin peaks was shot in my town. north bend bitches

      • Dude

        That's awesome! Can you say that with more boob please?

        • http://www.facebook.com/cassandra.boulanger Cassandra Boulanger

          i'm not to heavy the slightest bit

    • chiveadmin

      Show as slideshow


  • Howard.is.god

    #8. Homemade beaner soup…

    • J_Ace

      what do you call a mexican who's not quite grown up yet?

    • Dede

      Fuck you and your comment.

      • Yup

        Relax douche

  • Popowich

    #9 LOL If she won't let you have a beer, you were better off not getting married to her. That Escalated Quickly indeed!

    • G_Had

      It's BOY! BOY goddamnit! Not WELL! Get your shit straight Ron Burgundy

    • Suck me dry

      Hey poopwich, allllllllllll the way off

  • beasty

    Boobs, boobs are always the answer

    • Bubba

      Duct tape

      • beasty

        Duct tape is the solution, boobs are the answer

        • ChivetteKellie

          That… escalated quickly.

          • Yerp

            I bet kellie's hot just based on the fact she is a chivette.

  • chicago

    not sure why they're called "blow jobs" . i don't think she's exhaling. don't care either. i like getting one, call it by any name…

    • amrith777

      "Blow" was shortened from "below",as in "Below job".

      • SOhioChiver

        Well Below me down!

      • chicago

        nice. thank you.

        i hope that you had, and kept, your moment to be blessed and stricken. best wishes.

      • socalmarti

        See… I learn something new everyday! 😀

  • TiberSeptimonWheels

    #31 it must have stayed at a holiday inn express last night

    • Rufio


    • Groggy

      "My God, it's full of stars!"

  • tv_paul

    #14 Toto I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

    • SOhioChiver

      nobody move!

    • TheHolmes


      • jared

        who gave this dude a thumbs down, all he did was say where this pic was, its at university of california san diego (UCSD). they built it like that.

    • guest

      what really happened to the house in up

  • in1ear&outurmother

    #5 Powerful Mitch Hedberg!!

  • Tyler P

    #19 whoa, that's deep.. balls deep

  • Wiley

    That's some sexy cheese.

    • Gradaddy

      in comparison… yes

  • Hrdwood

    #18 She could of at least sexed it up by squirting CheezWhiz into her mouth…

    • Dr_StrangePants

      damn this picture is cheesy

    • asdasd

      wow… I'm now lactose intolerant..

      • Hrdwood

        so am I after I started thinking where she might be hiding the cottage cheese…

  • Dr_StrangePants

    Let us Ask the All Knowing Cat #31, the Answer to #26

    • Tyler P

      because you pitiful hoomans need to work on your dexterity

    • arnold

      the reason why chopsticks are used is because it was a tradition for Chinese chefs to taste the food with sticks, the chopsticks evolved into utensils from there on.
      scource: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chopsticks#History

    • Runner

      Because the two stick version proved vastly superior to the earlier single stick prototype

  • Tyrion Lannister

    Actually, this question answers a lot of other questions I have about my Chinese friends

    • The Holmes

      Such as?

  • ForeverAloneinLA

    #11 is soo freaking funny cause it's soo damn true !!!(at least here in Los Angeles-AKA organic/vegan/portlandia-ish micro diet food obsessed, self righteous, lime light seeking, self centered fucks!) And yes I am single…mmmmkay.

    • Jen

      alllllrighty then.

    • Zachary

      It is about india….

      • spook01

        they needs to add the AIDS part then..

  • ForeverAloneinLA

    #23 is soo freaking funny cause it's soo damn true !!!(at least here in Los Angeles-AKA organic/vegan/portlandia-ish micro diet food obsessed, self righteous, lime light seeking, self centered fucks!) And yes I am single…mmmmkay.

    Correction #23 people, not #11. KCCO

    • Jason

      Funny that he didn't mention the hypothetical person being an iPhone user too.

    • grumpy

      If only it said "Gluten Free" it would have been even more perfect.
      I don't think people who eat GF can go five minutes without mentioning it.

  • Davis


    I had a kid named Pierre LeBlanc in my 2nd grade class who would ask to go to the bathroom and, on his way out, would grab several tissues from the teachers desk. On his way back into the classroom he would tell the teacher, "Mrs Griffin, a 3rd grader plugged up the water fountain with tissues again," We all caught on pretty quickly and Mrs Griffin mandated a "bathroom buddy" go with Pierre to the bathroom. After that the clogged water fountains stopped. Friggin Pierre, that little bastard.

    • LuvsHorror

      I thought you were going in a different direction with this when you said he grabbed tissues. I was thinking, wow, and only seven.

      • dawgbone98

        PedoBear is sad.

    • Pierre LeBlanc

      And you would never guess what me and the bathroom buddy would do with the tissue paper

      • Ryan


  • collin

    #31 The Bucket of Truth is now cat sized?

    • Joel


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