Sh*t I want (20 Photos)

  • SVSumm


    • kekermahoney

      dont give up hope, your life can change.

  • connie

    #11 is badass

    • Woop

      then you'll love me..although im not brass

  • lat297

    #15 anyone who needs this isn't Chive-worthy…

    • epic ass is epic

      Agreed never leave a beer unfinished

      • boldspoo

        Normally I'd agree, but recent studies into "Soooo, you got wasted" show that even the heartiest of souls may leave an open beer unfinished. This device might save it for them to finish in the morning out of shame.

        • dedubs

          They deserve to drink it warm and decarbonated.

        • whatever

          I doubt anyone can put that cap on (assuming he can find it) after he passes out.

    • nom derrr

      what if you brew your own beer. awww think about it eh

      • Will

        If you brew your own beer, you're going to want to use real bottle caps for bottle fermentation, not fake patch-work bottle caps.

    • Steve

      What about drinking and running from the cops…. Don't want to spill… rock climbing or thumb wrestling …etc

    • G_Regular

      thats right you finish it, if you think your not going to be able to finish it odds are your too far gone to put a cap on it, pretty useless invention unless its non-alcoholic

      • Spelling Police

        *you're – a contraction of "you are." Stay in school.

        • G_Regular


          • FTW

            *douchebag – He is right, do us all a favor and stay in school.

            • G_Regular


              • JTO

                *Cocksucker – you'll get there lil buddy.

                • G_Regular

                  your so gay

                  • Woop

                    *you're so gay – amazing

                    • lat297

                      G_Regular is the best troll ever

                    • Sick350Z

                      Did the punkuation police catch on yet?

                    • 16inchzipper


    • Sejdnc

      Yea. If you can not finish a beer WTF..

  • jim

    #15 you don't "save" beer. You finish that shit!!!!

    • Guntherj


    • tdog

      What a complete waste of plastic.

    • herp de derp

      might as well put a nipple on the top of your beer

  • Slappy

    How about a woman that's not annoying?

    • Guest

      Oh, misogyny. Who invited you to the party?

    • DaddyD

      Sorry. There's only one in this world and she is engaged to marry me.

      • Woop

        that cant be, im already married to one.

    • Alex

      If you're so annoyed by women, maybe try men next time.

  • hellagreg

    #20 has aim issues…

    • ATrapAtNoon

      beat me to it!

    • Benjamin

      I concur

    • _DoC_

      He was probably busy looking over his shoulder at the view.

      • Paperwork

        Yeah but that doesn't stop the camera person from being "oh piss!"

        • _DoC_

          Camera person was probably focusing on the view. Then when he edited/submitted it, he was like "that is one hell of a great shot of that view". I'm only guessing, cause when I saw the pic I was like "that is one hell of a view, reminds me when I took a shit in the Grand Canyon by the river" and didn't notice the piss.

    • fed

      it was a draft

  • Trav1121

    #8 Oh, Mac… Only you… Haha

    • TheDude

      I will be your friend Mac, you are funny as hell.

    • Jen

      the dude from american pie has really gone downhill

  • Findangle

    If you require #15 you are doing it wrong!

    • Findangle

      In Canada only way to "save" beer is to hide that shit.

      • Hmmm

        So Canadians can't finish their beer?

        • Findangle

          That's what you got from that??? Yah Canadians can't finish a beer, about as much as Americans cant finish a Cheeseburger..

          • Payheed


  • Kieth

    #20 A toilet with dribble all over it? Pssccchhh I've got that shit! <insert>Image of Nailed It Meme Guy</insert>

    If you don't think I get it <insert>Image of Are You Fucking Kidding Me Meme Guy</insert>

    • Yo Yo Ma

      Could you explain your joke a little more? The more you do the funnier it gets.

    • PenisWinkle

      That seemed like a lot of work for nothin.

    • bootoo

      Everytime I see this pic, the piss on tge toilet always catches my attention too

  • Boulderevolution

    #20 I'm gonna take the most epic dump

  • Bandito

    Someone peed on the seat #20

    • lilpuppy

      pee'd on the bowl…the seat is lifted

    • Deadpool

      Clearly the location of the toilet creates an unfortunate crosswind

    • Fred Flintstone

      You must be a woman… only they notice these things

  • gnocco

    all I want for Christmas! why did this take so long to get to my eyeballs?!

  • Hrdwood

    #11 Back when I was a kid, we didn't have anything fancy like that… we just used to pound our meat with our bare fists…

    • tv_paul

      And we pound it to our fists were bloody & raw and mom would pour kerosene on our hands and light it on fire….and we like it!

      • Hrdwood

        That's my favorite Dana Carvey skit… although, sometimes I think I'm turning into him 😀

    • _DoC_

      I still pound my meat with my bare fist.

  • JustSayin'

    #20 Someone Missed…

  • Joel

    #15 who can't finish a beer

  • _HypoLuxa_

    #18 . . . Mac wants a knife … does this concern anyone else?

    • wantomas

      Now on the sidewalk … uuh, huh … whoo … sunny mornin’ … uuh, huh
      Lies a body just oozin' life … eeek!
      And someone’s sneakin' ‘round the corner
      Could that someone… Mac the Knife?

      • Classic song

        I am glad I wasn't the only one that instantly thought this.

  • Cracka_ass_cracka

    If this doesn't get you laid on demand, then you might was well just give up on life

  • BigDeeMan

    Could you not have cleaned the piss puddle on that toilet before taking the pic?

  • SteelHorseCowboy

    #15 If you can't work your way through a 12oz. beer (Pictured) you really need to reevaluate your life and or priorities….

    • Jen

      and your fucking vagina!

  • wantomas

    #3 I want a baby, just so I can get this fucking holster!!!

    • The_Ger

      That baby is going to get all shook up and puke right into your pants.

  • tv_paul

    #8 So this is the work Jason Biggs can get after the last American Pie move flopped.

  • Verbal_Kint

    #15 Who the fuck can't finish a beer?

    • tv_paul

      I don't know but find the girl who use these and you not only have a sure thing but a cheap date to take to bars.

  • Juan R

    #18 "A knife"? you want "A Knife"?

  • tv_paul

    #5 I gotta admit it, no jokes I actually like this one

    • Bob25

      Nothing beats getting something for 69!

      • tv_paul

        If you're getting 69 you shouldn't have to beat anything ( well sometimes a lil' tug will help speed up things)

  • ltappp


    dirty dirty dirty toilet seat

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