This really shy kid that doesn’t really speak much was getting picked on by this mean girl when the teacher tells her “be nice to him, he might be your boss someday,” without missing a beat he replies “no thanks, I don’t want to be a pimp when I grow up.” –Soitgoes5
My conservative Mormon mother decides to talk to me for the first time about sex (17 at the time) She places two slices of chocolate cake, beautifully decorated, from a nice bakery. “Now daughter, this is you with your virginity…” She then squashes one slice of cake with her hand. “And this is you without your virginity. What slice of cake would you rather give to your future husband, for time and all eternity?”
I look back and forth between the cakes “But, mom…they taste the same…” My older sister still loves to bring this up. It may be a funnier story when told out loud, though. –hauskittay
Once asked a middle aged woman to borrow her pen on the train.
Me: “May I please borrow you pen, ma’am?”
Woman: “Excuse me — don’t call me ma’am. Don’t you know how offensive that is to say to a woman?”
Me: “My apologies…sir.” –BuffaLee