It’s no secret that most people watch the Super Bowl more for the commercials than the big game. It’s the one time each year that we actually look forward to the game cutting to a “Commercial Timeout,” so why bore you with the highlights on the field when we can just give you what you really want. Here’s all of the best Super Bowl commercials from 2017 in one easy package.
1. “Calling JohnMalkovich.com” | Squarespace
Classic John Malkovich, being John Malkovich. Nothing really seems to have changed.
2. “Cleaner of Your Dreams” | Mr. Clean
Mr. Clean is trying to spread the wholesome message of, “if you clean the house, you’re gonna get laid!” They could have done without the creepy, overly sexual cartoon, though. Just saying.
3. “Little League” feat. Cam Newton and Miranda Kerr | Buick
Screw Cam Newton, you know you’re only in it for Miranda Kerr.
4. “Jungle Hero | Old Spice
Old Spice seems to get weirder and weirder each year. There’s really no explanation for this one.
5. “Born The Hard Way” | Budweiser
Just another inspirational story from Budweiser, highlighting the story of how they came to be.
6. “Hero’s Journey” feat. Melissa McCarthy| Kia
If you love nature preservation and watching Melissa McCarthy die over and over again, then this is the ad for you!
7. “Yearbooks” | Honda
Seeing Steve Carell with a 1970’s porn ‘stache is all you need to see today.
8. “Brady Everyday” feat. Tom Brady | Intel
As if Brady doesn’t have it good enough already, here he is making an assload of money from Intel to do a commercial about himself…
9. “To Go” feat. Jason Statham and Gal Gadot | Wix
Gal Gadot is one hell of a badass alongside Jason Statham. This feels like more of a movie trailer than a commercial about making websites.
10. “Romance” | Skittles
While this may not be as inappropriate as their banned ad from a few years back, it’s still just as enjoyable.
11. “Go Further” | Ford
Just a feel good, American classic here to remind us that it’s okay to fuck up sometimes.
12. “Easy Driver” Directed by The Coen Brothers | Mercedes
Well, it’s directed by The Coen Brothers… you get the idea.
13. “#SMUNDAY” | Heinz
Now here’s an idea we can all get behind. Nobody gets any work done the monday after the Super Bowl anyways.
14. “Cold Storage” | Wendy’s
Wendy’s really wants you to know that they don’t freeze their beef. How bout you address why the frosty machine is always broken, Wendy? Let’s address the real issues here.
15. “Halftime #BathroomBreak” | Febreze
What a “shitty” commercial. Literally it’s all about shitting.
16. “#AvoSecrets” | Avocados from Mexico
Why do we even need to see advertisements for Avocados? Everyone’s going to buy them anyways.
17. “The Conspiracy” feat. Brett Favre | Buffalo Wild Wings
Brett Favre emerges from retirement to make known that every fuck up he had in the NFL was due to a massive conspiracy. I always knew he was insane.
18. “Nintendo Switch” | Nintendo
Yet another Nintendo Switch commercial that still leaves you with so many questions on how the hell you play this thing.
19. “Inspiration Drops” | LIFEWTR
As if we needed another type of bottled water. At least this one has art.
20. “Colonel Vs. Colonel” | KFC
Not really sure what’s going on here, but hey, the colonel is made of gold.
21. “Ghost Spuds” | Bud Light
Oh, you know. Just a ghost dog convincing you that you’re a loser if you don’t go out with your friends and drink Bud Light. Classic.
22. “#UnlimitedMoves” feat. Justin Bieber |T-Mobile
If you needed another reason to hate Justin Bieber, here you go!
23. “BUSCHHHHH” | Busch
24. “Gronk’s Cleaners” feat. Rob Gronkowski & Jeffrey Tambor| Tide
As if Gronk isn’t weird enough, now he owns a dry cleaning facility?
25. “The Battle of Evony” | Evony: The King’s Return
While the game itself doesn’t look that good, at least they nailed the commercial.
26. “Our Bar” | Michelob Ultra
Michelob always has a way of making you feel bad about your body. I guess that’s the point.
27. “Arnold’s One Liners” | Mobile Strike
If on’y he would have yelled, “Get to the CHOPPA!”
28. “I Need You” | Michelin
We all need a good hug every now and again. I’ll take one from the Michelin Man, please.