“Like fuck I was taking it off them. I was proud of their teamwork!
“They’re children. They should be allowed chicken nuggets for tea every now and then. It’s OK if they have a late night here and there, or an iPad game/film for longer than 20 minutes so we can maybe, just maybe wash our fucking hair alone without our Gremlins trashing the bathroom like a pair of wild bastard seals!
“Mums you’re doing just fine! Make the fucking nuggets. Utilise the iPads so you can maybe hear the voices in your head again.
“Let them knacker themselves out playing TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) upstairs on the c***ing curtains until they flake out, and let them have a treat. Let them steal the cookies from the cupboard and let them be fucking proud of it!
“With faces like those, I know I am.”