Dispute over the placement of a floodlight results in one hell of an Australian troll (12 Photos)


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  • Larry


    • Bob

      Best troll in a long time!

    • OnehandJack


      David Thorne is amazing.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=662910077 Troy Druckenmiller

        I own 5 books, and 1 of them is his "The Internet Is A Playground". The man is a genius.

  • Shawn

    Dear Lord, sarcasm at it finest.

    • Big_Curt

      Cant stop laughing at work right now

      • Urethra Franklin

        I lost my shit at…"You put 50 kids with Down Syndrome in a room…there's going to be a lot of hugging"

    • Underbaker

      David is my kind of guy. So if anyone thinks sarcasm is evil have you ever tried to put a camel through the eye of a needle (Jesus at his finest)? Is this guy an author? Got to read his books if he is.

      • Mike

        He is an author, "The Internet is a Playground" is the book, or you can just read his blog @ 27bslash6.com

        • SoCal Dude

          David Thorne is the best.

        • Underbaker

          Thanks, will check him out.

    • stev

      I hear his stuff is fake. Google the ski shop incident in Masanutten (sp)

  • Daniel

    Probably the funniest exchange I've ever read! I can't stop laughing!

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      I laughed so hard I woke the neighbors

    • https://www.facebook.com/jpstrauss Juann Strauss


    • stingray2309

      if you liked reading this you have to read the book called emails from an asshole. the guy sends emails to people on craigslist and ebay very funny great book

    • Josh

      Funny replies can also be found at donotreply [dot] com

      • Josh

        Sorry, I meant donotevenreply[dot]com

        My bad!

    • mrjimmyos

      Google David Thorne, read his other ones, they are gold

    • LoFromWisco

      #10 is when I lost it. Hysterical.

    • John

      I cried laughing woke the neighbours up and have just about managed to wipe enough of the tiers away so I can see enough to type.

    • stu

      I recommend you read Missing Missy by David Thorne, hope you all do.

  • Turbodude

    Australia….Austria. Close enough for Justin the fucktard shitty neighbor

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1383526006 Tim Shaeffer

      He must have learned from lloyd christmas.

    • Conchy Joe

      Obama speaks Austrian maybe he can invite him over for a beer … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr7zhnctF4c

    • Turrebo

      Adolf Hitler came from Austria and has killed everything that Australian creatures couldn't reach. Are there any other countries starting with 'Austr'? If yes, don't go there for the holidays because the air there will probably be poisonous or something…

      • Iran

        Adolf Hitler? Sounds made up.

        • A BiPolar Guy

          Oh it's true enough, he was born there. If he had to produce his original long form birth certificate to prove his eligibility to be elected chancellor, would we have avoided WWII? Could the lunatic birthers really be time-travelling heroes form the future? Incompetant-already-failed-time-travelling heroes from the future, to be sure, but at least it would be a better story.

          • Frank

            Mean while, as someone not from the US:

            It does strike me odd that Obama has not released a non edited form of birth cert.
            Why not just show it? And why show a obviously fake one?

            • Pete

              Its because he was born in Hawaii, where the originals are always stored at the Hawaii Department of Health. You can only make a copy, you can't take the original. The one he showed was a laser print of the original

            • Cantaloupe

              Don't you get it. It's all a liberal scheme. Step one: pick a black candidate born outside the US. Step two: ???. Step Three: I'm a fucking dumbass.

    • http://www.facebook.com/firemaster101112 Coleman Lee Hodges

      That was the best part lmao

  • I'm


    • Dan

      BOB Fail

    • Nicnac


    • Trig

      Cockney to most sceptics!

  • http://www.facebook.com/lexbarron2007 Lex Williams

    when i grow up, i wanna be just like him πŸ˜›

  • felicitous blue

    The Chive can't spell "Australian" πŸ™

    • hi_steaks

      Neither can most Australians, so we'll call it even, eh?

      • 12345

        oh shut up u canadian

    • Yoga Pants 2012

      Yeah, good job, Bob…

    • roger

      i don't think they ever spell check the titles. they is usually a spelling error. seems simple enough to do.

      • Spelling Police

        "they is usually a spelling error." WTF?

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      spelling isn't a strong suit among the Chive editors.

      • McDrunky

        But drinking is πŸ™‚ Thats what matters.

    • Red baron

      Yes they did fucktard.

    • https://www.facebook.com/callie.ge Callie Ge

      No the duche bag with the terrawatt globe doesn't know the difference between Australia & Austria.

  • http://www.woodwind-repairs.co.uk Geoff

    Justin Flecker – what a boring Fapper. Why desn't David set up a huge mirror or even some mock solar panels opposite the light. Great post, I'd keep up the banter with a neighbour like David just for a laugh, then loan him my lawn mower and invite myself to his BBQ.

    • herb

      That would require him to carry something.

    • Richard

      because that would require him carrying something!

  • Oregon_country

    What pupose did the dog have in that picture?

    • Yoga Pants 2012

      The dog had everything to do with the story. Did you not read it?

    • https://www.facebook.com/jpstrauss Juann Strauss

      You don't know David Thorne.

    • Bob

      Because of the snakes! Come on dude…

    • https://www.facebook.com/sccarmona Salvador Carmona

      The dog probably set off the light since it would be motion activated.

    • Rennie56

      I'm Australian and my dog is always in my scale drawings,it's what we do….no dog=not to scale

      • Hi Mate!

        And on a smaller scale, don't you use those poison spider symbols? I seem to recall those.

  • Slade Garrison

    I love when the Chive posts these things early in the morning. Let's me go to sleep with a smile on my face.

    • Yoga Pants 2012

      Don't forget the Yoga Pants! More than just a smile to bed ;D

  • Trav1121

    #4 FTW! XD '… holding the welcome-mat above my head to appear taller.' Comic gold! Haha

  • https://www.facebook.com/sam.drinkall Sam Drinkall


  • Stevie Jay

    David Thorne, such a hero!

    • Hunter X

      Not so much. If you check out his blog (assuming it's all real) David is quite the antagonist. While not everyone handles his humor very well, it's not always deserved. He can be quite funny, but he does push for reaction, not just retaliation.

    • OnehandJack

      http://www.27bslash6.com/ for those unfamiliar with David Thorne

      Bloody freakin brilliant

  • Bob Neen

    You got to love Australian's

    • Australian

      Australian's…? Guts? Hair? Barbeques?

    • Amigo

      I hate Australians

      • AussieChivette

        Should I assume you hate me too? And assume that I have personally done something to offend you to deserve that hatred pointed at all Australians?

        • Pablo

          Si…unless you show me your nipples.

          • AussieChivette

            Probably won't 😐

            • coocoocuchoo

              I would maybe like an australian, but its hard to communicate with folk that have their heads that far up their own arses.

              • AussieChivette

                Yes, every single Australian is that stuck up themselves. Including me. Every single one of us is pretty much the same so I can see why you would just automatically hate all of us. We also all speak with ridiculous accents, use words like cobba and ride our kangaroos to work. Your hate of my entire country is completely validated and not at all based on prejudice.

  • Ben

    Your spelling of Australian hurts my brain. Also, y u no include stickers in latest BFM shipment? πŸ™

    • Je3ter

      Wait, you got stickers on your order???? All I got was my BFM shirt! πŸ™

      • The_Dood

        I got stickers with mine last October, but nothing with my D.A.R. last month.

    • Grant

      I never got stickers either, my seriously hot chivette wife was so disappointed….

  • https://www.facebook.com/hannah.fontenot Hannah Fontenot

    Thank you. Just thank you.

  • seanthecelt

    I want to go to David's BBQ.

  • south_bay_guy

    I want to by this guy a beer. Can't even imagine what he is like in person

    • Wogsamatta


    • KIWI Tony

      Which guy? I like the idea that David fix a large mirror OR solar panels…We've all had neighbours like Justin at some time or other…Loved the interchange tho…

  • http://twitter.com/mkingscott @mkingscott

    Austria. 'nuff said πŸ™‚

  • Guest


    David is just doing this for the publicity – nothing real about this exchange except to be annoying. Why is the Chive giving this guy an pub?

    • Hypno

      Because it's funny. It was an amusing back and forth and we all had a laugh, except for you. We come here to read funny things, see sexy things and take care of the odd little kid who needs our help. So when WE read something like this, it makes us like the site more, and then we come back, over and over and over again. Apparently, what it did to YOU was make you forget how to spell a three letter word ("Any") and NOT be able to even attempt to spell the word "publicity".

      That said, everyone who liked this should look up David Thorne. if you thought this was funny, wait until you see his "Missing Cat" poster.

      • Guest

        Right on. Thanks for the reply. I never meant to knock the Chive or Chivers. The one where he dresses up his dog as a bear and contests the stupid 75 dollar fine which I posted below is hilarious. That is satire at its best and with a purpose. Most of Thorne's stuff I appreciate and is funny. His "Internet is a Playground" is good. I'm sure he has a field day as a professional satirist in a rich, gated community in Virginia. I got a few laughs out of this one and I am glad that most Chivers did too. Other things he has done are even funnier. I'm not sure what it was about this email exchange. Maybe his neighbor did have it coming, but at the end of the day I felt that he was mostly just being a dick to his neighbor to make money as a writer. That just seemed unworthy of a Chiver.

        • Josh

          Man, you suck. Why you gotta burst our bubbles with your ramblings? Who cares where it came from? That shit was funny!

          • Louis

            Amen to that

          • Visitohr

            You really believe any of those funny emailreplies you read online are real?

            • AussieChivette

              I've known about David Thorne for a little while and as far as I can tell is that most of his exchanges ARE real and he deliberately goes about to troll people and get amusing responses and then posts them on the internet for others amusement.
              And a lot of text exchanges on the internet would be real, more would be fake though probably… But I know I've had a funny exchange before and uploaded it and it got a few hits.

              • Pablo

                Seiriously, I want to see your nipples.

                • AussieChivette

                  Chive don't post nipple submits! Silly Pablo.

          • yup

            I'd rather it be true.. or at least stated that it is just fiction… The presenting it as a real event is a bit annoying to me..

    • guest 2.0

      Guest = David Thorne

    • Chivette

      Bahaha you must be Justin. KCCO!!

      • Guest

        Next time you change your avatar, wear something topless.

    • guest

      dear guest named justin im sorry your fellings are hurt

  • carol

    I'm in love right now

  • pedro

    you spelt "australian" wrong in the title..

    • spelling police

      Spelt is a type of wheat. Spelled is the past tense of spell. If you're going to be the spelling police maybe you should turn on your spell checker before posting.

  • ewdeziel

    "our primary spoken language is screaming" -fuckin hilarious

    • http://www.facebook.com/brian.johnson.14661261 Brian Johnson

      That was the beat part

  • Guest


    Here is another email exchange of Thorne's which is equally hilarious.

    • http://www.cupcakesbymartha.com MarthaJeane

      My absolute favorite ever is the drawing of a spider in exchange for payment of his bills. Comedy gold!

    • Dr_Fap

      That guy is amazing. Those "bear" pictures are hilarious.

  • yup


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