So the last time I asked Olga to marry me, it didn’t work out. It could be because I’m a soft 6 and she’s so gorgeous that looking at her for more than 10 seconds will damage your eyes. I mean, let’s be real — she’s probably blinded more people than laser pointers and the sun combined. It might be because of that.
…But it also could be because I didn’t ask her in Russian, which is a far more likely scenario. So here it is, round 2. Olga, will you marry me?