It wasn’t too long ago that we were actually able to function as a society without our faces buried in our phones. Then came the smartphone and along with it, an app for everything. Think you’re too young for a little electronic nostalgia? Think again. It’s been over nine years since the original app store launched. Still not feeling your age? Check these out:
Shine a little light on things
There was a time when the iPhone didn’t come with a stock flashlight. I know, how did drunk you ever find shit in the dark? Back then, you actually had to download an app to have a flashlight and even then, they didn’t work for shit.
Let the geekdom flow through you
How far have we come? In 2008, one of the top ten apps in the store was a lightsaber app. Essentially, you picked the lightsaber hilt and beam color, then you waved your phone around until someone caught you and uploaded the video. You’ve lived in your mom’s basement ever since.
iPhone Air Hockey
Maybe you weren’t a Star Wars geek. If not, you probably played around with “Touch Hockey”. This air hockey simulator, which is exactly as it sounds, was also one of the most downloaded apps of the year in 2008.
Just Pop It!
Maybe 2008 knew what it was doing. Another of the top-ten most downloaded apps was a bubble wrap popping simulator. I’m not even gonna front, I would download this right now if my phone wasn’t already full of other useless shit.
I’m a Little Jelly
I don’t have the slightest recollection of this, but apparently a lot of y’all got so bored you downloaded Jelly Car, which was an extremely difficult to control driving “sim”.
Don’t be So Enigmatic
Enigmo was actually a pretty neat little app. You built machines and used them to guide water droplets into specific containers. There have been many different iterations of this concept since, for Android and iOS, but this one was the first and perhaps still the best.
Channel Your DDR
Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) is an international craze. There are arcades built around the dancing sim machines. This app, called Tap Tap, followed a similar concept but using your touchscreen and fingers instead of your feet. It was wildly successful and probably ended plenty of friendships.
Grapple With Your Age
I remember this simple, yet kickass little game. In Rope’n’Fly, you controlled a little guy who would swing from building to building using a rope and a grappling hook. Come to think of it, Marvel really missed a chance to cash in on the Spiderman craze here…
Trace Your Past
Quirky and rage inducing, Trace tasked you with drawing your own path to escape increasingly difficult levels. It was as addicting as it was infuriating. Thank god the original iPhone was a little more sturdy. I don’t think the 7 would survive the fits this gave people.
Holy Sh*t This Was Frustrating (no witty title here)
Remember those little wooden table top games where you guided the marble through a maze while avoiding the holes? Well, Labyrinth worked on the same principle, but was somehow even more difficult. Back in 2008, the motion sense of phone wasn’t nearly what it is today, which made this game borderline impossible.
Just a Little Doodle
Doodle Jump will likely go down as one of the top mobile games ever made. It was simple, addicting and had a learning curve, but was far from impossible. Almost everyone had it which made it a very social game too as you tried to out jump your buddy. If I’m not mistaken, this is still available on multiple platforms today.
Unblockable Rage
Another game from back in the day (2009) we are still playing today, Unblock Me (no that’s not a quote to your ex on Facebook), asked you to move blocks of varying shapes and sizes to move one particular block out of the puzzle. This game would turn a thinking man into a fighting man in less than five minutes.
They’re Still Angry…
Can you believe the original Angry Birds showed up in the app store in 2009? They’re still putting these out at record pace. Call me crazy, but even after all the versions and licenses bringing some pop-culture icons, the first is still the best.
I’m Smarter Than You
That’s what this game should have been called because that’s essentially what “Words with Friends” amounted to. In old school Scrabble fashion, you build words with the select tiles you were given and tried to get the highest score. Unfortunately, people began to create ways to exploit and cheat at the game racking up ridiculous scores I’M TALKING TO YOU RANDLE!!!
Ninja Fingers
Ok, that title may be misleading… Fruit Ninja hit the app store in 2010 and is still all over the place to this day. The goal was simple, use your finger to ninja chop the shit out of some fruit. The more fruit you chopped, the higher your score went and the longer timer you got. Simple, yet addictive.
Drawn to Mobile Games
Draw Something stole it’s general premise from Pictionary, and adapted it to a mobile audience. You were given a word and had to draw it on the page. More difficult words (guessed correctly by the other player) meant more coins. Even better, if you or your friend drew something epically bad ass or hilariously bad, you could share it to social media.
I Play Because I Hate Myself
Flappy Bird. Go f*** yourself. I think that sums it up properly. The game creator was notoriously unapologetic about how difficult the game was. If you never played it, you’ll probably live a lot longer than those of us who did. I don’t know if my blood pressure will ever be regular again.
Via Insider
