A good night’s sleep is rare these days. The minute you’re about to drift into a beautiful cloud world where unicorns are frolicking and ’90s Christina Aguilera is smacking you in the face with her boobs, you suddenly remember that time in third grade where you didn’t shake enough after peeing and walked in front of the classroom with a wet spot on your groin. Now the sounds of cruel laughter from a room full of 8-year-olds is at the front of your brain, so you watch a few videos on your phone of people falling on dirt bikes to help regain that tranquil mindset. But the iPhone screen burning white hot information into your eyeballs has only made you more awake. It’s a vicious cycle.
For real though, how hot was ’90s Christina?
While I don’t know the cure for childhood trauma, healthline does have some tips to help you fall asleep and stay asleep. But first, let’s talk about how much of that good stuff you need to function. It changes depending on age.
0-3 months: 14-17 hours
4-11 months: 12-15 hours
1-2 years: 11-14 hours
3-5 years: 10-13 hours
6-13 years: 9-11 hours
14-17 years: 8-10 hours
18-25 years: 7-9 hours
26-64 years: 7-9 hours
65+ years: 7-8 hours
If hitting your target sleep time seems impossible, then try some of these tips to help get there:
Increase bright light exposure during the day. Keep the blinds up in your office or — if the boss stows you away in a dark hole — buy one of those UV lamps.
Decrease blue light exposure in the hours leading up to bedtime (blue light is caused by electronic devices — TVs, computer and phone screens). But if you’re like most people and spend weekday evenings staring at some sort of screen, then there are apps like f.lux that claim to reduce a device’s blue light emissions.
Cut out the late afternoon coffee. Caffeine stays elevated in the blood for 6-8 hours, so plan accordingly.
Take shorter daytime naps. For some people, napping longer than 30 minutes during the day can worsen your sleep quality. Also, if you’re not used to taking daytime naps regularly, then taking one could throw off your body clock and keep you up at night.
Exercise regularly, but not before bed. In one study, regular exercise halved the time it took for people to fall asleep (working better than drugs). But exercise right before bed could make it harder due to its stimulatory effects.
Cut out alcohol (on nights where you need a good night’s sleep). While a couple of drinks before bed might make you feel drowzy, it may cause disruptive sleep behaviors like snoring (apparently a lot of people wake even themselves up they snore so loud), and may reduce the sleep hormone melatonin.
Rule out a sleep disorder. These fuckers are surprisingly common. One review found that 24% of men and 9% of women had sleep apnea.
That’s all I got, guys. Good luck and goodnight.
h/t Brightside
