“I fell asleep masturbating. My brother walked in, laughed at the sight of me holding my dick with porn still playing. My parents came to see what he was laughing it, they laughed too. My brother woke me up by throwing a shoe at me and I was so embarrassed that I immediately got dressed and left the house for a few hours.
My dad told my grandparents and promised to tell everyone at my wedding.”
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“Wait a few dates before having a blow job. Why? I was getting my first blow job from my girlfriend at the time and she was a bit goth and moody n shit. I didn’t know she was into pain play too. Found out when she bit down really hard as I was pulling out and dragged her incisors on my dick and ripped it up. She was way to into it and started licking up the blood. I had the most confused orgasm I have ever had in my life. Then I had a lot of pain and cried for about 15 minutes as she tried to bandage it up and told me to “suck it up, it isn’t that bad.” She explained that she believed she was a vampire. “
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