“So I’m sitting in front of my computer going at it since nobody is home, and I just reached the peak of my masturbation. I already came but my penis was still erect, and the way I was sitting made it point directly up at me. I guess I should have went to the bathroom before because the next thing I know, this stream of urine randomly shoots out of my penis directly into my fucking face.
I was in such shock that I started pissing even harder. I could smell it, I could taste it, and my eyes were burning like hell. On top of that, when I went into the kitchen to get paper towels, I found out that I wasn’t actually home alone and I had to spend the next few minutes telling my roommate some bullshit story about how I was trying to make lemonade.”