Internet trash talk at your own risk (10 funny emails)

Let this be a lesson that if you’re planning on trash talking somebody over the internet that it at least be grammatically correct.
For more hilarious rebuttals go to David Thorne’s website HERE.

  • anti douche

    not this time douche

    • Ricardo Useche

      i would go like, Dear george, I'LL KILL U DUDE!

  • daduts

    this is really epic.

    • Deeveeus

      I have some fear that this is another Chive hoax though….that said, even if it is, that was indeed epic

  • WonderWhy

    I live in WV. It is the best country in the world!

    • howwierd

      Wow!! West Virginia is not a country. It's a state. USA is a country…

      • Silent

        I believe that was sarcasm, at least we can only hope it was lol

  • jacobthetongue

    David is the new king of win. Awesome.

    • OscarWilde!

      …if only it was real and not elaborately constructed snark to aid in his misbegotten feelings of superiority.

      Truth, I laughed.

  • chrisdg74

    Now THAT was funny.
    Do not fuck with David Thorne.

  • tommybhoy

    David Thorne is arrogant, condescending, sarcastic, smart arsed bastard…..he is my hero! <——awsome

  • mikethecarpenter

    wow, there are so many lols there, and that silly redneck, to shoot someone properly you should use a .45 or a real gun.

    • k.g.

      no, if he were to actually shoot somebody in "the face" then it would be much better to use a smaller caliber handgun such as a .22 which is the weapon caliber of choice for assassins. not trying to start anything here, just thought i would let you know. I do love a .45 though, i use a M1911 .45 automatic as a target shooting gun.

      • Rusty

        Yep. .22LR hollowpoints, or failing that, at least lead round nose, if you're in contact range. Lot harder to get ballistic evidence from them than a larger caliber.

        But for defensive purposes, concealed carry, that sort of thing … .45 ACP all the way.

        • sippinator94

          Meh, I like my Javelin.

          • HellHath NoFury


      • Nameless

        Talk to a lot of assassins do you?

  • nemesis

    I love the dneck bit at the end.

    Fake or not, this guy is a funny writer.

  • Palin Comparison

    I laughed a lot during this. Is it real? Who cares. It is pretty dang funny.

  • bear

    man, chive you guys are rediculous. Im going to send you my resume… i need part of this!

    • DeMonikk1

      Or "RIdiculous"…whichever…

      • HellHath NoFury

        They are diculous again. Re-diculous.

  • johnny rotten

    "yes you will" hahahaha

    • hot carl

      RE: dneck
      that's awesome

  • Michael

    Did anyone else notice the subject change between his 9th and 10th posting. I nearly died… that was epic

    • BadBrad

      i thought i was the only one.

  • peter lustig

    that was awesome on so many levels! i do have one complaint though…
    you don`t say eskimo enymore. it`s inuit 😉

    • ignorance is bliss

      Inuit is 1 type of eskimo population, same as the chinese being 1 type of the asian population. Not all eskimos are Inuit, just as not all asians are Chinese.

      Seriously, don't try to correct someone if you don't know what you are talking about.

  • tommy

    OMG!!…LMAO got to love a redneck.

  • Carl R. Evans

    David's kind of a douche, but I must admit this guys was REALLY asking for it.

  • Booger

    YES! Would a douche!

  • papervolts

    Why do only the stupid people from my home state ever make it on to the internet?

  • Kjellupa

    That was awesome on a stick!

  • king


  • karli

    lmao that was soo friggen funny. i love when he says about the gf.. did she eat em ?? funny.

  • Randy

    I have reported this post to the police and to facebook fag.

  • karli

    and really. that guy says have some respect.. well maybe he should learn the meaning of the word. god damn redneck.

  • 76United

    This is hilarious. Very witty.

  • Black6dog

    The guys hilarious but I imagine he's a douche in real life.

    • Mark

      I actually know David Thorne. I worked with him with nearly two years and he is actually the funniest guy I have ever met in my life. He is actually softly spoken and very caring but jesus can he be bitingly sarcastic. Never seen him get angry or be douche but I can undetsand how you would think that.

      • ttmab7

        No kidding. Cool to know he's not, I admit I was wondering the same thing. 🙂

        • Kman

          We often wonder at my work what he'd be like to work with…i don't get the feeling he'd tolerate stupid requests well

    • SANDY

      What do you mean a "douche"? He's the coolest, funniest guy ever. I love him!

  • Simon Edhouse

    David Thorne is hilarious. This is great, but his other emails are even better. Check it out!

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