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  • googboog

    wow, "the church" is a real douche, i bet he listens to Justin Bieber

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

      I'll bet he does other things to Justin Bieber, too.

      • HHNF=FAILEDPORNSTAR

        oh i long for the days past when she was silent.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

          Please refrain from making your sick obsession with me obvious. It's not clever and everyone can see it. Either you're a jealous woman or a very foolish man.
          And there's no such thing as a failed pron star. Either you have been in porn or you haven't.
          The dumbest kid in class never has anything to contribute unless he's insulting someone.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

            PRON, lulz
            thats it, im taking a nap.

          • Bunker Punk

            HHNF, it probably took you 10 minutes to think of 4 seconds of "clever" material for your post? I know you are sitting there waiting for someone to reply, just thinking "I'm so gonna get you!" This just in, you are borderline fat, especially for being mouthy. From now on, instead of using your time pondering of witty shit to post on Chive, save it, and use it at the gym.

            Sincerely,

            Me, and every other fucking Chiver.

            • Bunker Punk

              Huh, that was mean. I'm hungover.

              • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

                Also, don't speak for the other chivers; it's incredibly assumptive of you.

            • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

              So, which was it, did your priest abuse you or did your father beat you and tell that your parents' divorce was your fault?

              You're mighty angry and resentful about something that really doesn't effect you. In my unqualified opinion, that's a sign of either a mood related disorder (depression, bi-polar, psychosis, etc.) or some serious emotional trauma in your life.

              If you ever want to talk about it, honestly, the best person you could talk to about it would be HHNF. I don't know that she'd give you the time of day at this point, so I'm offering my input if you need it, man.

              I'm really truly concerned that you're going to have some type of aneurysm or stroke as a result of all this unnecessary hatred. I mean, really if you think something ANYONE says is dumb, can't you just say "that was dumb I didn't find it funny"? She can take criticism just as any other guy on here if not more so because of dickbags like you.

              Instead you try to take all these personal shots just to be a troll. I hope you don't treat anyone else in your life this way. They may say they appreciate your frankness or honesty, but in reality they think you're a total dick and they wish you weren't as big of an asshole as you are.

              • Gibby

                Someone get this man a suit of armor! Dont worry HHNF hes coming for you!

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

              Of course it is common knowledge that if a female isn't wearing a skin-tight shirt at all times, she must be fat. Actually I just put on a sweater, so that means I gained 50 pounds. But what if I'm wearing a tight shirt underneath? What does it mean?! And I kind of like my big muscular thighs, I don't look an emaciated boy. *rather like a bowling pin, but whatever* There are much fatter men that post here. Get on that. Take your anger and run it out at the gym.

              • asgard

                I don't know why they make so much noise about this girl being a failed pornstar or fat or something. Is she hot?

                • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

                  nope!

                  • asgard

                    Ja, ok. Sorry girl, it's just thatm I'm kinda new in here, my brother show me the chive a couple of months ago, and I don't know why there is always people attacking you in the comments.
                    BTW in my experience, if a girl says that she is not hot, she probably is.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1319192166 Danielle Vaughan

              Actually shes clever in an impressive matter of time, shes on my friends list, and her comments/threads are very popular (maybe one day youll know what popular is). Shes not fat either, but I am at the moment, i just delivered a baby though. So shut up before you go there. Fury is the funniest online friend i know, so quit trying to knock her down, it wont work. Shes laid back like snoop doggs car seat. She's probably right about you being a jealous girl. Go troll somewhere else, bitch. Beau is a true gent for standing up in her defense.

        • Orderup

          Those were the days

    • Gibby

      I hate Chris

      • Jen

        whats with all the hateration? my guess is that the ones that dont like HHNF are dudes that got rejected by hot chicks in high school.

        • Gibby

          HHNF is fine for now i just hate Chris

        • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

          Rejected? They never had the balls to ask them out. lol

  • Huh

    These were funnier then I expected.

  • Zomg

    way to repost chive

    • Charles

      Agreed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

    Love these, even the second go'round. Can someone edit these to change "The Church" to "The Catholic Church"? Kthxbai

    • http://www.facebook.com/JohnCspencer John Spencer

      No.

  • ace

    lol old post, still funny

  • vince

    Galileo made me laugh out loud… Great One!

  • mike

    how did they makes the comments appear like they where made, in the asteroids case 65 million years ago?

    • http://www.facebook.com/beau87 Beau Young

      Photoshop…

      • WowThisFuckingGuy

        Surprised you dignified that with an answer…Makes me wonder if he has believed every picture he's ever seen…especially on Chive. Poor little dude.

  • mipo2010

    Should ad Akmed the Terrorist to the streams…I Keel you

    • chrisdg74

      Silence!

    • northerner

      LOL, Good one! Well, I thought so…

  • Bud Ugly

    As others have said, all these are old… but I still read and giggled at all of them.

  • Sizzle

    Yeah, saw these on Geekologie months ago.

    Still funny though. I love it when The Church loses its shit.

  • Pussymagnet

    Old shit is old?

  • wkdfrog

    LMAO at 1 & 6

  • Dom

    I thought it was hilarious, but if they were going to go through the effort. Tidy up the time that people replied. I didn't know the church took 400 years to respond to what Galileo was discovering.

  • isawoj

    and John Hancock in #1.

  • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

    It's Herbie Hancock…………….D'UH!!!!!

  • Billy

    It's actually a misconception that Galileo received most of his opposition from the church. Most of it came from other scientists.

  • Kyle

    Way to steal from college humor, keep up the great theft chive!

  • noticable

    did anyone noticed the time stamp on these?

  • equalizermax

    So funny, like reading a funny comics…

  • Coldzilla

    Seen it before but STILL funny as hell! LOL

    thanks!

  • Qwerty

    it took newton 344 years to figure it out…

  • northerner

    #5, "Jesus, 'Don't worry Dad, I got this…'" He did. Got me, too. So thankful.

  • http://holycrapthatsfunny.com/2010/10/19/you-shut-your-mouth/ Galileo on Facebook | Holy crap that's funny!

    […] Circa TheChive. […]

  • http://www.kchristieh.com/blog/?p=4765 Facebook statuses become the news | KChristieH Blog

    […] If I were a teacher, I’d have the students create Facebook profiles for historical figures, a là Archeologists Dig Up Ancient Facebook. […]

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