• thomas

    If you'll excuse me boys, I'm going cougar hunting B)

    • biggiebiggiebiggie

      This is the most truthful post in Chive history. I'm 30, and I have a much better time with 21 year olds and 40 year olds then I do with the girls between 25-29.

    • Bryannn

      you forgot the most important part….YEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

    • unibroue

      Is it cougar hunting season already?

    • mikethecarpenter

      The added benefit of if you stay over you might get a lunchable and a juice box. thumbs up for the cougars!

    • Rabbit

      She might be a Sex Panther – with paw stamps – rather than a cougar.

  • DaddyD

    It helps that the cougar is far and away the best looking of the 3.

    • Pete Ribaudo

      Isnt that michelle pheifer?

      • Peter

        I believe that's Izabella Scorupco

    • Kris Coleman

      Dude, 18 year old is way hotter, and having sex with her wouldn't be so much like throwing a football down a long hallway…

      • mememe

        as we say in mexico "mas vale terminarlas de educar, que quitarles malas mañas"

        • Kris Coleman

          I really wish I knew spanish right now.

  • doc

    I think we need a Sexy Cougar posting… I'm sure there are some sexy Chivette Cougars out there…

    • Will

      I like your style, but be careful…. I see potential for some horrid scenes if we start asking all the oldies out there to send in their "Best cougar pics".

      • andy

        but we aren't the ones who have to sort through the pictures, so we should be spared of any horrid scenes that might occur

        • aosux

          New to theChive? John would put up the horrid pic to share with us just because he had to see it. And it would be right when you got comfortable with the pics you were seeing and put your guard down.

    • Kris Coleman

      This sounds like a wonderful Idea.

      or even a "favorite cougar celeb" post

    • Darius ThePos

      I vote for a cougar post, but no celeb models, real live cougars……from the zoo


      So true… please do that!! I beg you Chive!

    • Logic76

      hells yeah

  • @twymx

    I'm dating a woman 15 years younger than me. She's 21 and she fits the first description almost exactly. Except she ALSO complains about how messy my place is AND wishes I drove a better car but luckily still plays PS3 with me lol.

    • Swift

      You're a failure in life. 36 year old dating a 21 year old hahahah.

      • King

        You're an idiot, Swift. 36 dating a 21 year old seems like an epic win to me.


        • dean

          no dude, dating young girls is for suckers, they are there to put your penis into and then move onto something more substantial.
          fighting over nothing every other day because she has no attention span is not cool.

          • usernamebiff

            you're right, you then move onto the 19-year-olds, then 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42… you get the idea

    • FlickMyBic

      hey i dont blame you for getting some young tail, but PS3? Really?!

  • Diana Santos

    Any of them..i'm not lesbian ^_^

    • rawnoyz

      dont lie!

      • Diana Santos

        loooool i'm just kidding here,sorry for the madness

        • rawnoyz

          kidding about "any of them" or…. nah, im sure you like eatin pussy! :*

          • Diana Santos

            yeah..i do…but only my own..:*

            • rawnoyz

              i gotta see that! :'(

  • mark j.

    Last night, my one of my girlfriend's best friend got engaged (they'd been dating half the time we have). Lemme tell you how my morning has gone so far…. not so good, boys, not so good.

    • Shoestring

      Haha, same here. Just be prepared, shit goes south real quick if you don't.

    • hot carl

      you're moving towards the wrong side of the bell curve.

    • kaveman4130

      run my friend run. it won't get any better.

    • drobr

      i've been there. a few times, actually.

    • aosux

      Good luck to you, mark, good luck

    • thatwasntthequestion

      Ever heard the expression "Fish or cut bait?"

      Time for you to cut bait.

  • Jimmy

    I'm dating the 18 year-old and taking it for granted. It's awesome

    • Uber guy

      I was you once, Jimmy. Keep up the good work. Stay in college till they kick you out. Oh, and try to take some naked photos of the girl. You'll look back and be glad you did 10 years from now.

  • hot carl

    Should this post be re-titled 'reasons why not to date your own age'?

  • jroc

    i love boobies


      I concur.

    • ktxd

      Hear! Fucking, hear!

      • mememe

        you sir, have my sword

        • Summer

          and my axe

          • Samwise <3

            and my ring.


            • LOOOOOL

              and my condom.

  • Oh Behave!

    They have all their pros and cons. The young girl will probably be kind of annoying at times because of her young energy. That'll be great in some circumstances but not all. But will be super jealous of other women. Good for a short period of time. Bringing her home to mom and dad is tough.

    The girl your age will probably be the marrying type, but will nag at the above listed things, in addition to others. But you'll have consistency which is good. Easy to bring home.

    The cougar, well now you will be envied by your buddies, she will be experienced and know how to do things right and will probably value you more because of her experience with her ex husband, or do it to spite him. But she likely wont' want to get married again. I love me some cougars, but when you are 50 and she's 75, the appeal may not be so high anymore.

    • cwa


      • busted

        Worth reading; well said.

      • hey

        well said

    • usernamebiff

      women past 50 are no longer cougars

      • Rabbit

        more like fubars

    • CalculatedRisk

      I've got some big love for older women. The rating system myself and my buddies use goes as follows:

      If she's looked after herself VERY well = Cougar
      If she could use a little tune-up, but still worth riding = Panther
      If out on the town, but far too old to be doing so (and clearly so) = Sabre-tooth Tiger
      Ancient… Just no… = Pterodactyl

  • lordberic

    Answer: date all 3 at the same time?

  • aosux

    Marry-18 year old/Kill-Same age/Fuck-Cougar

    • osborl12

      I am going to respectfully disagree: Marry cougar, kill same age, and fuck 18-year old.

      • Witle

        I disagree, fuck them all and then play Xbox with your buddies.

      • Hargrove

        Chances are the cougar is not going to want to get married but if that is the challenge you desire then more power to you.

      • mememe

        i'm going to disagree.. i say: fuck'em all, don't get married

    • Patrick

      excellent choice

  • ????

    i'm married to a girl my age that makes more then me and doesn't mind, huge sex drive and doesn't mind me playing PS3. she does complain about my mess but hey, not a bad trade off.

    • good for u

      be a real man and get a better job… douche

    • MacNCheese

      Wait til you have kids, lol!

    • andy

      Makes more than you? Doesn't mind you playing PS3? Huge sex drive?

      She's out banging other dudes…

      • thatwasntthequestion

        Bingo! Check her "work" credit card statement. My money says there's a hotel charged in town, and typically for only one day at a time in the middle of the week.

    • Hunter

      Enjoy it while you can. It wont last.

  • Catch

    I don't own a car and don't have my own place… Which demographic do I aim for now?

    • TheDarkKnight

      Sounds to me like you'll be aiming for the tissue you're holding in your "free" hand

    • Joeyk

      Your right hand..

    • top dog


      • Jen

        your mom

    • yup

      Your mom's basement, fleshlight.

    • Fred

      You now aim for JAILBAIT…..see you when you get out of jail……

  • Chris from Toronto

    I'm 39. Cougars ARE my own age!!! I'd need to date a SABRE TOOTH if I wanted to go older. If I dated an older woman I'd need to make sure their health insurance was paid up and get a medical paper saying they were fit enough to have 'relations' with me. Of course, dating an 18 year old for a night or two would be fun as well, but I'd need a week to recover from all the flexible positions she'd try to put me into. I'm willing to take the pain…

    • Ben

      The correct term is a Mellencamp.

    • kaveman4130

      18 year olds don't put you in those positions , the cougar will work you.

      • Your Mom's Dog

        18 year olds don't put you in those positions, you put the 18 year olds in those positions.

  • Capt. Obvious

    The younger girls are fun because you can take her to Chucky Cheese. The girl your age is a pain because they want to run the show and you can't make them happy with a McDonalds toy. The older woman may have a daughter. Three WAY!!!

    • usernamebiff

      who the fuck takes anybody over 18 to ChuckyCheese?

      • ThatGuy

        White trash

  • bob

    is it just me or does the girl your age looks older than the depicted older woman? o.0

    • Your Mom's Dog

      Not only that, but she looks like she's strung out on meth. Apparently the "author" of the graphic has a bad taste for women his own age.

  • MasonGWebbington

    Things better aged: automobiles, cigars, whiskey, and women…

  • mattythegooch

    Being in my early 30's, chicks my age fucking rock!! They have their own careers, own money, places to live, etc, etc.

    That being said, 18 or 80, blind, crippled or crazy! I'm a guy that loves women!!

    • Kate Hughes

      yep i'm a 31-year-old chick and I do fucking rock!! and I look waaaaay better than that girl too;)

      • mattythegooch

        I'm diggin' your style, Kate!

    • Lookhowstrongiam

      Gonna pass on the crazy, blind and crippled 80 year old though

  • Matticus

    Definitely cougar.

    • mememe

      I vote cougar, but if i could't get a 54 y.o I could settle for 2×27 y.o or 3×18 y.o.

  • squirrel

    Sending this straight to my ex-wife!!!

  • Married Guy

    I vote for the cougar. My wife doesn't think this is funny at all.

  • vince

    The cougar has baggage- or she'd be with someone. Sex is great, but something is wrong with her, and when you find out, it will terrify you.

    The one your age is working on that baggage. She's been trying to mold guys into the Knight in Shining Armor she thought she'd have by now. You'll never measure up, and the sex will be average.

    The 18 year old is the choice, provided you don't get attached. She's flighty and air-headed, and will change her mind about anything on a dime- including you. The upside is- she doesn't 'need', and can be 'trained'- at least in whatever time you're lucky enough to get.

  • thetommynews

    I agree. Where are the cougars?

  • barnes

    My bucket list is to have sex with an 18 year-old one last time. I owe that to my high-school self. Aside from that, I'm dating a girl my age who meets the above criteria to a T

    • D.C

      I share your goal, and feel your pain, only I also want to nail a hot older women before I get too old. f*ck the xbox

      • Avante

        I second both options

    • Shifty

      Agreed, you just gave me an idea.

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