• franklin

    I know a lot of girls like Zoey

    • XOS

      zoey and scumbag steve belong together..

      • Spivias

        that actually make alot of sense
        they be perfect

    • Yo Mamma

      Who just tried looking Zoey up on FB?

      • Nick

        I did and I stumbled upon this…!/album.php?profile=1&am

        • spencer

          holy crap! gold mine!

        • bud

          you sir, deserve a high-five—————————————————————————>

          • Nick

            We need the boys at the chive to get this chick to submit some moar…

        • Jason

          I noticed her in the huge list of Zoey Jones's also, we must invite her for a Chive photo shoot!

      • Cavall

        Fuck that, I was gunna friend the GUY.

    • Homer Thompson

      Dude needs to get the hint…..she doesn't want to be with you.

  • daduts

    she had it coming.

    • Reesty


    • Cake is a Lie

      why was he at a disco? what?

    • Sizzle

      BS. He should have taken the hint that she wasn't interested. Just because he's a guy, it doesn't entitle him to date her.

      • kyle

        I think you are missing the point… It's the age old, pot calling the kettle black thingy here

  • suidae

    What a stupid beyotch

    • jayeffson

      This dueds a idiot if he didn't figure that shit out by year 8 .

  • Captain Obvious!

    Thanks Reddit!

    • jane

      started on a Facebook, picked up by a small blog called 'Steve's Blog', then went to reddit, digg, the chive, made a lot of people laugh.

      thanks, internet. no thanks to deeply cynical people who think entertainment should be inclusive.

      • jacob laz

        captain obvious has just been pwnd

        • Motte

          Can we all agree to cut it out with the overused, un-original internet jargon i.e. "pwnd", "you're argument is invalid", etc…? Anyone?

          • Guest

            Asking that question in itself is also an overused,un-original response to an internet argument.

            Its best to pretend these things dont exist until they go away

        • Terry Burke

          tho i hate the use of the word "pwnd" i will rate you up sir

      • Captain Obvious!

        Thanks Jane!

    • multipass

      this is TheChive not Reddit… just look at the name before the .com part

    • Amanda

      Actually, this guy is completely right. It's a problem I try to ignore but nerves me every time I come on here, because they portray it as their own.

      At least 80% of this website's content is taken directly from Reddit, sorry your precious Chive is a completely unoriginal compilation of internet humor selectively filtered for all of the less informed bros of the internet.

      • damanda

        I mean come on, I already saw all this stuff last thursday, amirite?

        • mike

          I saw it this morning on Failbook…but still funny wherever it is posted. Oh and Zoey is stupid…

      • Mike

        If you don't like what the Chive is publishing, and think it is just a rip-off of Reddit…THEN STAY AWAY!! Or at least don't comment on it. One of the reasons I like this site so much is that the people that run it are "real" people…(at least it seems that way). Yes this is a free country and you can say what you like, but please feel free to say it over at

      • Mario

        haha wtf is reddit, /b/ is the the hub of all internet memes. Plus theChive is the shit so gtfo

      • chiver79

        i'm sure reddit is completely original and they write their own stories and take their own pictures and tell their own jokes and fart their own farts blah blah blah

    • Terry Burke

      i don't go to Reddit, i' ve actually never heard of it. soooo…. THANKS CHIVE!

  • DaGingA

    BAHAHAHA…well played sir.. well played…

  • Machiavelli

    Nice guys never get what they want. You want something? You have to TAKE it, not ask for it and wait.

    • Brobraham Lincoln

      Rape is in this year.

      • Paula

        Rape is fucking sweet.


        • Badfish

          Do you know what 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

          Gang rape.

    • SomeGuy

      I'm sure that's the same argument people facing rape charges give.

      • Freud

        If your mind immediately interprets/associates "getting what you want" with rape… I have some bad news for you.

      • Otherguy

        machiavelli has an exelent point there, chicks simply like dudes with balls, who act. he obviously is not talking about rape.

        • Anotherguy

          Still pretty sure he was talking about rape.

        • @withquotation

          no but the words are borderline with the idea of rape. i don't think machiavelli is a rapist or was talking about such a thing, however he should choose his words more carefully. the difference between a thief and profiteer is one does so on their own terms and the other places them-self in the most opportune position to take which is offered.

    • Master

      Was I the only one to remember Jordan Chase's philosophy from Dexter?

      • Jordan Chase

        tick tick tick

    • Dennis

      Oh yeah, girls love hanging out with jerks and douches. By the time they want to settle down then they ask "where are all the nice guys?".

      • Crystal

        And the nice guys are too busy being sad about not getting the hot girls, that they totally miss out on seeing the nice girls.

        • Jason Litzau

          Actually, those nice guys usually end up settling down with nice girls, and the shallow guys and girls end up alone or in loveless marriages.

    • Ray

      Sounds like a rape case waiting to happen.

    • DICKS

      people are pretty hostile to the truth

  • brandon

    im glad sometging like this got posted, some women need to get over themdelves and see that guys can be nice people. they can also he heartless and cruel as well.

  • AJC

    And Toby kept trying because????

    • Flicka

      He's a moron.

      • Guse

        Nah. He's a young boy. Any young boy that says he hasn't taken way more shit than he should have from a girl is lying.

        Yes, it works the other way too.

        • Flicka

          Of course it works both ways. Most people want what they want, unqualified. That's why you shouldn't waste years of your life pining over someone who don't like you.

          • Timmy

            You're missing the real point here. She said yes to dancing and bailed on him and she took the tickets that he bought and went with a friend. She's a p.o.s for doing those things and shouldn't whine and complain about boys being such dicks when she is just terrible. She's a hypocrite. Get it now???????

          • Jason Litzau

            Wow, you sure are wise. How old are you? I sure hope you're in high school, because Toby was. I wonder how sensible you were when you were 16….

            It must be nice to able to go through life without the ability to empathize with others or find pathos in anything beyond your own understanding.
            The rest of us aren't so lucky.

        • Wavien

          I shall now start worshipping. You.

        • Adam

          I would have stopped a bit sooner…

          Five years? Seriously?

          • northerner

            Agree. I would think that common sense would have dictated that after maybe the second incident, he would/should have taken the hint that she had serious relationship issues. She simply was a crass person who should be avoided. Ah, youth is not always so smart. Love blinds. He should have taken the hint. And it sounds like she still has not gotten a clue.

            • bob

              youre talking about a freshmen/sophmore in high school.

    • Innocent Bystander

      'Cause sometimes your dick pulls triple duty and tries to be your heart and your brain at the same time.

  • hamberleaf

    at least he told it straight

  • Random

    She's a dick and he needs to grow a pair.

    • Anonymous

      A pair of dick? Kinda creepy…

    • Conor

      Actually no, he had massive balls saying that on Facebook.

      But she was a tramp yes.

    • northerner


  • Jim

    Zoey looks like a bitch.

  • Michael Knaak

    "We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate – and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves… because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!"

    • Justin

      America, FUCK YEAH!

    • 2 long-did not read


    • Juan

      Words of wisdom from George Carlin, RIP!

    • Mike Kunt

      I'm so ronery…

    • iletastinky

      My new Tat, if I may

    • luis_pedro_sato

      I am just going to publish this on my fb
      its hilarious

  • ely whitley

    The world is made up of pussies, dicks and assholes… now sometimes

    • ely whitley

      BTW i know it's technically wrong for the quote but you get the reference… right?

    • team America

      See, pussys get mad dicks cause they just want to fuck everything, but pussys need dicks, becuase assholes just want to shit all over everything. But dicks also fuck assholes.

  • bobs419

    get her.

  • Guest

    Predicted response from Zoey: "What a creep." *block* "I'm perfect, the issues are with everyone else!"

    • DaddyD

      My ex-wife

  • Andre

    Zoey Jones is such a DICK.

  • bowhuntpa

    Year 12 still a Virgin

    • acash

      Forever Alone…

    • Hez26

      Year 13, stalk-mode

    • bob

      cause you're not cool unless you're already a man whore before high school

  • ssf

    I don't know what Toby's complaining about. It sounds as if Zoe fucked him like five times.

    • JMartin


    • hahaman


  • mattythegooch

    Hey Toby………………take a HINT!! The chick doesn't like you!!

    • Suck it Trebek

      That's not the point. She (like most women) is bitching about guys being dicks yet she has a guy who's trying to treat her right and she being a dick. He's proving a point.

      • Flicka

        He's proved a point really well: If a chick don't like you, she don't, and there's nothing you can do to 'make' her.
        So he proved a great point: hassling the same chick (who has NEVER liked you) for years IS STUPID AND UNREALISTIC. Leave the Disney bullshit behind and get with it!

        • CQMS

          Flicka, wow, just wow. The obvious is just sailing clear over your head here. The story described is of a "nice guy" proving that said nice guys exist, and this Zoey used him for everything he offered and gave nothing in return.

          Clearly it is not just guys who are dicks.

          • Flicka

            Clearly. But if I had a dime for every dude whining about "why don't chicks LIKE me!"
            I mean, really… I used to be one. It didn't go over my head, I just stopped blaming other people for my own shortcomings. You know what? That's a lot more productive.

            "Attracting a mate" isn't a checklist of things you have to do to "win."

            • CQMS

              You used to be a chick?

              I am both a nice guy, and never really had any issues with finding romance… Reality is though, if I had a dime for every woman, who complained about a lack of a nice guy, while doing the complaining TO a nice guy, I would be very very very rich.

          • Adam

            There is nothing here that says that he was a nice guy, just that he kept following this girl around mumbling, "why won't you love me?"

            Seriously, he bought her concert tickets. Unless they are hipsters, then her favorite band is probably someone rather big, which means that he probably dropped quite a bit of money on a girl who spent FOUR YEARS telling him that she wasn't interested.

            • Kjell King

              But she wasn't above still taking the tickets and going with somebody else. She's a twat!

      • Adam

        Being that creepy guy that tries to hang onto a girl that doesn't like him is not being a nice guy who treats girls right…

    • Flicka

      Exactly. Lotta fish in the sea man. Get shot down? Go get another.

    • Diana Santos

      yeah..all these only work if the girl like the guy…

    • wade

      i think the point is, if you dont like the guy dont take hes concert tickets and shit and lead him on.

  • drbeene

    While this may appear to be a triumph for forever alones out there, it's fake.

    Thank you to Foothor and TinEye.

    • Conor

      Fake or not, it gives a great message.

      Girls are ungrateful tramps, the end.

    • Keith

      And no thank you to you. I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing it was fake and been all the happier for it. It's amusing. Less so now that you've so proudly outed it as a fake. Good job, you've really done something significant here…

      • @Nwabuezeo

        Come on, the picture was on this site before. Look it up. I knew it was fake from the get go (This photo is one of my desktop backgrounds)

  • Rob

    Hey Zoey you just got Owned!

  • cdub

    She thinks they are dicks because they are not doing exactly what she wants them to do. Bitches all!!!!

  • pat

    well played.

  • nick

    wow that is one dumb fucl
    javascript: hideMsgBox();

  • Ross

    Ok now you have to post her response too…. After being put in her place like that I want to know what happens next

    • The Other Jake

      She deletes him

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