A little inspiration goes a long way (33 Photos)

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  • Brian King

    #17 is awesome!

    • _bigdeal

      dammit!! i was racing to get down here to be the first to say 17 fucking rocks

    • Casey

      it's a john lennon quote, he was a genius

    • AssClown

      A 5 year old toddler said that…mmm doubt it. Or perhaps he is a accomplished philosifizer by now…

      • Captnjack

        Well that 5 year old grew up to be John Lennon, so i'd say he's quite accomplished, myself..

        • Yup

          Even so. I doubt a five year old said that.

      • Scotty

        Or perhaps, instead of literally meaning it, Mr. Lennon was being more abstract and just trying to send the message?

    • DaddyD

      My fav too. Now posted on FB.

    • YUP

      John Lennon, no doubt about it, was FUCKING AWESOME

    • Duvel

      Made me think of Karate Kyle unfortunately :-s

  • Brian King

    #31 If that only worked with Women…

    • gaz

      yher we all know that no women anywhere wants to have sex with anyone and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is just bogus

      • Ha!

        Preach on Peter Griffin!

    • DaddyD

      It does. They're just saying yes to someone else.

  • winfields

    #11 – can't ever go wrong with a George Carlin quote!

  • oliverklosov

    #26 ha ha.

    • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

      i feel bad that i noticed that until now =( haha

  • Birdhaus32

    #14 – Tyler Durden
    I know who wrote it but the character said it.

    • http://twitter.com/itsjaredlol @itsjaredlol

      Oh my god please kill yourself if you're not joking.

      • NonBrit

        It's an important distinction, if you consider the nature of the character. The quote is meant to reveal much more about the character than about the author.

        • nate

          Yes, but the authors name is RIGHT THERE.

        • Birdhaus32

          That's what I was thinking. If you didn't know who Tyler Durden is then this quote really means something completely different.

          • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

            Actually, no it doesn't. The point is exactly the same.

            If you don't see the truth in it, you are not much more than a weapon of mass consumption.

            Oh, and in "the old days", it was simply referred to as the rat race.

    • Tim

      Tyler Durden has never said anything. He is a figment of Chuck Palahniuks imagination.

    • SKEWED

      Actually I think it came out of Brad Pitts mouth… So, Technically Brad said it… But since Tyler Durden is REALLY the Narrorator, I guess TECHNICALLY Edward Norton said it.. Do you assholes really CARE that much to bitch about semantics? Good God, go back to the hump-day post and splooge one out and smile!

      • Frank

        Stupidest comment yet, and oh-so-full of fail.

        • Frank

          It's like trying to attribute Shakespearean quotes to Mel Gibson because he said them in a movie.

  • JAMon

    #17 hits the nail on the head

  • xDV8x

    2 Mitch Hedbergs in one day? Awesome!!

    • _bigdeal

      never knew who the guy was until i saw all the posts raving about him. after watching his clips on youtube, im ashamed i didnt know who he was. he is wonderful.

      • Karl

        He is sadly dead. 😦

      • xDV8x

        I saw him in Ann Arbor open for Lewis Black and Dave Atell and he was by far the funniest

    • The_Dood

      If someone came to me and said there car wouldn't start, my first thought would be "Maybe there's a killer after you!" We miss you Mitch!

      • flydenrict

        If the gas tank is empty I get all cocky like, "I got this one fellas! Let me grab my tools aka wallet."

  • tsukushi_

    #33 awww

  • https://www.facebook.com/Cbarksfullout Chris Barks

    #8 Right On!

  • JP Souza

    Philosophical Hipster Wank. deep man. deep.

  • chris

    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."
    – Jack Layton

    • Canada

      Great Canadian, sadly missed. Would never survive in American politics, too honest, too sincere.

      • caleb

        Ron Paul.

      • Frank

        Too into seedy Asian massage parlors….

    • Jason Low

      very inspirational, especially for what could be said are a dying mans last words

    • Tim

      Some of the worst things imaginable have been done with the best intentions. – Dr. Grant

    • RandomAndrew

      RIP J.L.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=669440656 Steve Shaw

      Great human being, huge loss.

    • DLBone

      gay

  • Yessirr

    Chive, what's up with the not so funny emo posters. #17

    • Henrik

      This is not an emo post, it's supposed to be uplifting for those who may be depressed.Even though you're sad doesn't make you an emo, douchecake.

      • Gnole

        Nice use of "You're"

  • Alex

    #33 legendary pooh quote number 548

  • EZEE

    "Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

    Homer Simpson.

    • Master_Rahl

      another great Homerism – "If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead"

      • quintus

        Barney: Hey Homer, you're late for English.

        Homer: Pphhh, English. Who needs that? I ain't never going to England?

        • Master_Rahl

          Ralph Wiggum – Me, fail English? That's unpossible

    • RandomAndrew

      "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel."

  • Connor

    I know I am going to get chastised for this, but these are the pictures angsty teenage girls post on their tumblrs.

    • perry

      not really, it's from a tumblr site called 'i can read' which has recently been getting a lot of attention from some big media outlets (cnbc, huffpo). and many of the quotes are from famous people, not angsty teens. tumblr has a lot of garbage but that doesn't mean there's not a lot of good stuff in there.

      • Tim

        #13

        Yeah. No angsty teenage garbage here…..

        • Piesmagicos

          zing!

    • jay

      the tumblr this is from is great. john is good at weeding thru the angst. some of the photos are cheesy but the quotes are solid

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

      what's wrong with being a little more positive about life? would you rather a post of "go kill yourself" posters just so you can enjoy a hollow laugh and move about your day?

  • _bigdeal

    #7 best part of forrest gump is when hes out in the desert and runnin on empty is playing. i dont even like that song but its a perfect scene.

    • Mortimer Funk

      #7 is a movie that tells you that if you do what you're told (Gump) you will be successful. But if you rebel and make your own way (Jenny) you will die of AIDS. Harsh lesson.

  • Oblivious

    #1 Pretty sure this was a quote from Stewie Griffen

    • DaddyD

      Pretty sure Henry Ford said it first.

    • Mort

      Yes, I believe it was when he hired Brian to work for him at Cash Scam. Sadly, that's where I first heard the quote as well. It's hard for me to find it inspirational now because all I can think of when I hear it is Peter and Brian having an ass race.

      • JPV

        i'm truly sorry for you;
        that 1 you saw a quote I've said to myself weekly on family guy &
        2 that you connect such a enlightening qoute with a cartoon

        (I love family guy, just I heard that qoute when I was 12, just not on family guy)

  • Colin

    I am a huge fan of the inspiration posts. MOAR!!!

  • Raptr_2

    #4 just might have turned my day around, thanks for the awesome post

    • dub

      Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau for the win!

      Transcendentalists FTW!

  • Martin

    Well, theres 33 new Facebook posts.

    • the elusive

      hehehe

  • CosmoKramerTheAssMan

    The best one I've ever heard:

    "Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day." Harry S. Truman

  • Bluebury

    Bravo, John! Keep them coming!
    Love #29 !

    • Duvel

      True! I really like/want this one.

  • Tuttified

    #3 I should have done the same this morning on the way to work, traffic was horrible on the highway.

    • TomTheCameraGuy

      Haha, It makes sense literally and figuratively.

  • BelowHeavens

    #17 Pure Genius

    • Nick C Bell

      Agreed.

  • Tuttified

    #13 Feel better by touching your elbows behind your back…… yes, that's it.

    • Birdhaus32

      This one makes me think of those meth posters.

      • dub

        Yeah. I got the same feel – though it may also be about an eating disorder. Either way, it's still sorta tragic.

    • landomcdando

      its a mirror…

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