Simply put, animals that don’t suck (30 Photos)

Advertisement
  • Logan

    f u paula

    • JGBallard

      "Hello, my name is Logan, i am new to the chive, and uh,…i want everyone to like me,
      so i am going to tell paula to fuck herself, because thats what the chivers do, right? So,
      pleas, thumbs up for me."

      You are not a Miss America contest giving a speech. Stop saying what everybody wants to hear, or say it but in an awesome way, a chive-worthy way. I know i will sound like a duch or a chive hipster to many for pointing it out, but we need to raise the bar in the comments.
      Logan, have an awesome day and chive on

      • Logan

        WOW, so you must be the guy Paula has been blowing all these years. How does it feel sliding your dick in another man's mouth? Please bitch i have been on the Chive since the best part of you ran down your mom's ass and ended up a brown stain on the sheets, what an ass baby!

        • shaka

          stealing quotes from Full Metal Jacket hardly makes you sound clever in this argument, especially since that statement is saying that you have been on the Chive since JG was born, but the Chive has not been around for about 2-3 years now…. so not only do you fail with your first comment, but followed it up with a second helping.. I'm just sayin is all….

        • JGBallard

          "I am going to quote Full Metal Jacket to show everybody how uber cool and original i am, and i will establish myself as the older chiver, therefor i must be right. I will also insult the other chiver just because he made fun of me, i am sure that is going to ruin his day. And I shall be call Logan, because i, like wolverine, am supercool, but naming myself Wolverine don't show how much of the x men i know."

          Ok, that went a little bit longer that i would expected. Slow day at work. Anyway, Logan, keep up the good work, collecting those thumbs down like a boss.

          • shaka

            Well played sir!!

            • JGBallard

              Thank you Sir, have a great day and may a squadron of beautiful vaginas find the way to your crotch by sundown.
              If by chance you happened to be a madame, let us change vaginas with penises, if it is your liking, if not, let us change vaginas and crotch, with belgian chocolate and mouth, or whatever will pleases you.

              • JGBallard

                Credit to theoatmeal.com for the vaginas sentence, i think it was there where i read it.
                Chive on

        • http://twitter.com/theterryburke @theterryburke

          let's not forget that he got the quote wrong

      • shaka

        douche*

    • tawhitlow

      this is more annoying to me than the "first" douches

      • Logan

        and you sir are more annoying than that trolling ass bitch paula (who is really a dude)

        • http://twitter.com/theterryburke @theterryburke

          No, Paula isn't annoying. People who try to hard to get people to like them are annoying. Incase I need to clarify, I'm talking about you.

          • Logan

            any statement that needs clarification should be kept to oneself, i don't give a rats ass how many people 'like' me or my comments, not all of us want to win the popularity contest terry

            • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

              Then why do you keep commenting on people's comments on your initial comment?

              • http://twitter.com/theterryburke @theterryburke

                awesome name bro. most people don't props for cool names on here so, props to you

            • http://twitter.com/theterryburke @theterryburke

              that's true, i know i don't. you, on the other hand care a lot about what people think of you. you are posting something that other people have posted before and they got thumbs up for it, so you thought you could gain popularity by re-posting what they did. that's sad, dude. i may say some dumb shit from time to time… ok most of the time, but at least i post my own thoughts. not what other peoples thoughts

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001019719478 Drew Bolden

      paula never annoyed me, i think she put her pic on her signature to trick me…

    • DillonHenrietta

      omg, alex had time @Alex, i cant believe this!! me and my sister just got two i-pads for $42.77 each and a $50 amazon card for $9. the stores want to keep this a secret and they dont tell you. go here BidsOut.com

  • https://www.facebook.com/DannoRules Danno Maurer

    #10 Planking

    • Bill57

      upside down planking? reverse planking?

    • Jake

      Does anyone know the name of this breed?

      • Dustin

        Looks like a Welshire Corgi

        • Jaives

          That's Pembroke Welsh Corgi

          • ItsPoopAgain

            Thanks for correcting him. Had this breed all my life. Great dogs.

  • Bill57

    #6 S O O N very soon

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      …and the circle of life continues!

  • _alex

    #14 non Racist Dog

    • Queue

      "Go fuck a duck!"

      "Well, alright."

    • 'p;

      Doesn't matter…Still had sex

      • A BiPolar Guy

        admit it guys you're really not very chooser either. male hormones will not be denied.
        my rabbit tried to mate with our dog. dog not entirely pleased

    • Master_Rahl

      "She only likes me for my duckie style"

    • StopRacistComments

      Thumbed down – It's two totally different species of animal, so how the hell are you seeing anything related to racism here at all?

      • A BiPolar Guy

        StopRacistComments – don't be over analyzing humor – it's funny even though you are technically right.

      • ssstoopid

        Would you call it beastiality?

        • ur-right

          hahaha.. got me on that one… what?? its funny!!

      • _alex

        StopRacistComments – buy your own forest and Get lost in it!

    • Underbaker

      So whats up with the duck face Chive?

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      Dirty Dawg and Slut Duck in Front Yard Bangers #21

    • Ken

      Hump a duck, change your luck.

  • truth

    Last

  • Mike

    #16 Lesbian freak cow !!!

    • http://twitter.com/danieljillm @danieljillm

      I think the cow is trying to ride off into the sunset

  • av8or21

    lol pwned #14

    • Dead embryonic Cells

      jeez, do people still say pwned? what decade are you in? or did you just use it in an ironic sense?

      • elbruces

        You ain't l337 enough to get it, n00b.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000522611267 Kristen Weeks

    #26 – Finally! Someone has been teaching gorillas hand signs that are relevant to this day and age!

  • AssClown

    #2 Pretty sure he doesn't give a fuck…

    • DrGarnicus

      I heard not a single one was given.

  • Bill57

    fuck – a – duck

  • _alex

    #28
    kid: tell me dog, what do you see in my future
    dog: poop

  • AssClown

    #6 The food-chain at work…

  • http://www.facebook.com/lmcpike Laura Pike

    #6 looks like the start of a Slyvester and Tweety cartoon, anyone remember what the dog was called?

    • Kris

      Spike. His son's name was Tyke.

      • http://www.facebook.com/lmcpike Laura Pike

        thanks, that was bugging me

      • Chaos

        Spike (along with his sidekick Chester) did appear in some cartoons with Sylvester, but the bulldog that appears with both Sylvester and Tweety in their cartoons is Hector.

      • pdiddily420

        Spike and Tyke were from Tom and Jerry, not Sylvester and Tweety.

        • NJF

          Yeah I was about to say the same thing. If there were a dog in Sylvester and Tweety, he would have been unnamed. I think.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Simply put: CATS SUCK!! Regardless. Now and always.

    Hugs,
    Paula
    "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • Holy Hell

      Hey Paula.
      You wanna know why you don't get a chive tee ?
      They don't make them in size 10XL !
      Also, you know how many points you get for running over a cat ?

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        How should I know how many points… I don't run them over, I eat them and I don't run over my food.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

          Care to swap recipes?

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Well there's not much to it; I drive a stick trough it and roast it over an open fire… The fire takes care of the hairs and… bon apetit.

            Hugs,
            Paula
            "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

            • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

              I like mine more exotic. I will have to dig around and find you my kitten tikka masala recipe…..

        • Holy Hell

          Nice dodge.
          The answer is….
          It depends on whether the owner is holding it at the time.

    • Dapper_Dave

      Cats do kind of suck.

    • Paula

      Simply put: I SUCK!! Regardless. Now and always.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001019719478 Drew Bolden

      cats are awesome little sidekicks

    • Logan

      i can't f-ing believe i am about to say this, but i agree with paula: CATS SUCK!!

    • JuanPablo

      You're a man.

    • ur-right

      cats cost me a couple of bills for anti-rabies and anti-tetanus vaccines T__T

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #22
    That thing is as big as he is. Let the "Like a Boss" comments begin.

    • Kris

      Like a Boss.

    • El_Hefe

      and #18 deserves the "come at me bro" comment

    • Alec

      Bringing that bitch a femur….bitches love femurs

      • Isabelle

        "bitches love femurs"…….(read in EpicMealTime voice) xD

  • misschris

    #28 Boop!

    • Isabelle

      I read it as "dink!"

  • EasternCanuck

    #3 now that's devotion

  • Kodos

    #23
    "As soon as I catch it, I'm gonna screw it…"

  • JGBallard

    #25 Falcor took and apprentice under his wing, …or umm…ear.

    • JGBallard

      …an apprentice….
      shame on me, i know. moving one…

      • JGBallard

        on…

  • Brother Maynard

    #7 looks like the start of a Steven King book.

    • avidavid

      Goddammit, DON'T GIVE HIM ANY IDEAS!!

    • Phil McKraken

      I don't think a Steven King book has many pictures

    • Cat

      SOON !!!!

    • elbruces

      These animals do not not suck.

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      Zombie cows want human food: Where's the brain?

  • Guest

    #3
    What excatly is he chasing?

    • Craig

      A training dummy for hunting dogs. The bumps supposedly teach the dog not to bite down when picking up a duck you just blasted out of the sky.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001019719478 Drew Bolden

      ur moms rubber dong

      • woof

        Floaty. You toss it in the water and see if the dog can catch it at certain distances. They use it for competitionw like this;

    • Paul

      Shows you how little i know… i was thinking Cob Corn toy…

  • R_JONES

    Is #5 a Chupacabra??

    • saltygary

      I believe a Red Fox.

    • IndyGirl

      How about a fox!

    • Holmespump

      Might be, but it looks more like skewered chicken.

    • ssstoopid

      It's a grill with meat on it…

    • elbruces

      A barbequebra.

    • scott

      Good one Jones!

  • Dapper_Dave

    #3 kind of looks like a Super hero side kick.

    • panama99

      Sorry to disappoint you but it is simply a sqeaky toy not an "adult" toy!!

      • Dapper_Dave

        Could be used for both….

  • wkdfrog

    #7 is scarier than any M Night Shyamalan movie

    • SkyVader

      Shyamalan-a-ding-dong.

  • wkdfrog

    #14 ducked

    • panama99

      Come on baby honk for daddy….honk for daddy.

    • disturbed

      How to be a duck fucker,
      Ain't nothin' to it.
      Find a duck,
      Get down and do it.

blog comments powered by Disqus