• turbodude

    He's funnier than Conan…

    • The_Dood

      Your mom jokes are funnier than Conan.

      • JerkFace

        Conan the Barbarian is funny than Conan

        • NebraskaGuy

          "What is most important in life?"

          "To crush your enemies; see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!"

          • hotdogneck

            This is so old. Was on Conan in like 8 months ago.

            Google is at least faster than that.

            • NebraskaGuy

              Nahh, that quote wasn't original on Conan – it was from the 1982 movie "Conan the Barbarian" starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

              It's not old, it's classic, and still awesome 🙂

          • BadSadBro

            What is best in life, idiot

            • Asskicker

              close enough, ya moron!

              get a life!

              • Your name

                Sure you are…tough guy. I bet you're Stan.

    • Conan

      Nuh Uh!

    • Jason

      Yea, I wondered why I'd never seen this before, and then when Conan walked out, I was like. Oh yea. That's why.

    • sixdeadelves

      you go to hell

    • brokeneggshells

      You shut your goddamn, dirty mouth, and you keep it shut.

  • alexjn1

    Damn good point

    • Jen

      What was the point? Can someone write out the jokes so that those of us at work with no volume can partake?

      • SweetAwesomeness

        save yourself the 3 mins, it really was not worth it

        • its_forge

          2nded. Lame attempt at philosophical humor.

  • http://renounceapprehension.blogspot.com/ MrRushing

    Interesting to think that with all that knowledge at our fingertips we now see no need to retain any of it. We've become reliant to fault…….maybe.

    • andfukyamoms

      This point was made years ago by actual scientist who conducted a study. This is not an original thought by this lame comedian.

      • Ned Ryerson

        What was the name of the scientist, and when did he make that point? If only there was somewhere that I could go to find the answer! 🙂

    • Chivalrous

      How many phone numbers do you remember? Now my phone remembers for me.

    • http://renounceapprehension.blogspot.com/ MrRushing

      I USED to remember everyone's phone number, because I had to. Now I don't because I don't have to. And if I lost my phone? I'd be fucked. And THAT is my point. Reliant to a fault. "All our eggs in one basket" if you will.

      • NotGod

        Unless that basket is you.
        Think global knowledge for everyone available built in your own body by biomechanics. Think everything linked together, global database. Our brain as Harddrives which make a total network of an immens amount of bytes. the world would be beautifull! Everybody is as equaly smart. As soon as there is a discovery made, the whole world would know. Everyone would be a superscientist to the power of 7 BILLION.

        Btw, if you like future thinking; watch zeitgeist! REVOLUTION

  • nate


    • Bill Murray

      I eat my own feces.

  • Verbal_Kint

    Holy shit. He beat that fucking joke to death…

    • Zedhere

      Half to death. The rest comes when he goes on tour…

      • Verbal_Kint

        yeah, no shit… Same material, just painfully longer.

        • SweetAwesomeness

          what is ironic is I Googled "bad comedian" and this guy's video came up….

  • Ned Ryerson

    Say hello to last week's episode of How I Met Your Mother.

    • DngRdr

      Was thinking the same thing soon… LOL!

  • NicBree

    All hail the Google.

  • misschris

    It's like John Naisbitt said: “We are drowning in information, but starved for knowledge.”

    • TitoRigatoni

      And no wisdom to be seen, anywhere.

    • http://renounceapprehension.blogspot.com/ MrRushing

      It'll stick eventually. I have faith in humanity as a whole. It'll be a long strange trip, but we'll get there.

  • Guesty


  • Bryan

    Its true. We have so much information readily available that nobody cares to ever learn anything because we know we can just look it up online.

    • Burnstinkle

      You just said exactly what he but not in a funny or interesting way. Sweet post

      • Catalyst

        Actually, Bryan said it better.

      • mike

        hahaha burnstinkleeeeeeeeee

    • DMAC

      But, when we look, we have learned. So we know more now.

    • Jason

      Pfft. I learn BECAUSE I google it. Not in spite of it. I like not having to drive to the library and search for hours through encyclopedias and books.
      If Google is the fire that scorches humanity, then BURN ME!

  • pleascarter

    anticipation is everything

  • Marcus

    I've known everything for 15 years now. The google on your phone maybe new, but the internet is not. Fail.

    • sam

      yeah but most people leave their mums basement and need to know stuff when they're out being social and having a life.

      LOLZ jk!

  • Joe

    Fuck Conan!!! When is he going away??

    • Jak

      Team Leno! No, wait…

    • Michael Scott

      HOW DARE YOU?!!!!!! Conan is this generation's greatest late night talk show host. I've watched him for years and although he reuses a lot of the same jokes its still funny every damn time! TEAM COCO!!!!!!

      • Jason

        "Conan is this generation's greatest late night talk show host".
        and Will Ferrell is it's greatest comedian.

        Glad it's not MY generation.

  • chicago

    Google brought ultra-broadband [300MB down/150Mbs up] to Kansas City and Standford Univ. as a project. The towns users will get used to these immediate internet speeds, then when Google shuts down the fiber rings, going back to [max.] 13Mbs will destroy people. Or at least shatter their gamer kids gameplay.

  • Bill Murray

    Put balls in my mouth, please.

    • chicago

      its in the hole !

  • frypod

    Dear Chive, I saw this comedian on CC a while ago and have since been desperately trying to find him again. MY DEAREST THANKS!!!

    • Petey

      try looking for him on google

    • C'mon man

      why wouldn't you just go to the conan website….

  • dorkfish

    What part of Florida

    • SkyVader

      Gainesville. And I didn't look it up. 🙂

  • Matthew Mac

    DAR chicks against Google enlightenment (CAGE)

  • MattF

    What a sad, sorry, pathetic existence to only wonder about things that can be answered by accessing the Internet.

    Even if you remove mysticism, in the world around us every day, there are countless things to wonder about that science is still guessing about and trying to figure out. Google is not to blame if people won't open their fucking eyes.

    • MattF is serious

      ^^^^too serious

      • The Pict

        But he might be able to tell us if the light in the fridge goes out when you close the door of if it stays on. He seems deep like that.

    • This Guy

      If in could only thumb up this as many times as I wanted to. You make a valid point and the other two who have replied are only further validating your point.

      • MattF

        Thank you for your kind words. It kind of bugs me that so many people mistake slack-jawed gaping at their own ignorance for "wonder" or "mystery".

        This mentality starts off self-absorbed by proclaiming one's own lack of knowledge to be something supremely important; deepens the self-absorption by claiming that doing something about your lack of knowledge and making yourself a better person constitutes a *loss*; and ratchets itself into full-blown egomania when it asserts that everyone else ought to revel in their own ignorance as well.

        Seriously. There's nothing here to suggest anything that makes you or anyone else a better person, and the "argument" actively encourages keeping the same limitations on yourself that you had before you started to think a little bit. This narcissistic sense of willingly self-imposed ignorance isn't Google's fault; Google only makes it easier to identify.

  • Tobes

    I was going to make an important point but I'll have to check with wikipedia before I say anything… hang on, wait arghhhh…..The man speaks the truth. I have to check Facebook just to find my sister's birthday. I am a slave to the machine – plug me into the matrix baby, I'm ready 😦

  • Henry Gibson

    And this is posted on the site that regularly features a cloudsourcing post asking readers to identify women from just a photograph.

    Come on! Does nobody else see the irony in that?

  • Coldzilla

    As one who will wonder certain things (where did I see that actor before, who sang this song) to the point of having to drink myself to sleep I for one like the idea of being able to answer all my questions in a matter of moments.

    I DO miss drinking myself to sleep tho……. =/

  • Craig

    He reminds me of Andy Samberg for some reason.

  • Gary Busey

    This really isn't funny, this video could have stopped after 30 seconds and still had the same impact.

  • Barry

    In what way is this "Mind Blowing" . . . . .

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